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Very Hot Topic (More than 25 Replies) FDK Need to Know (Read 7722 times)
Matt
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FDK Need to Know
Apr 5th, 2012 at 12:44am
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I've had this one in the back of my head for quite a while.

Enjoy!
  

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I may be blonde but...

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Re: FDK Need to Know
Reply #1 - Apr 5th, 2012 at 11:51pm
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Something new! And it starts with a wedding.  Grin
  

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Neesierie
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Straker, somehow it's
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Re: FDK Need to Know
Reply #2 - Apr 8th, 2012 at 4:57am
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A promising start, Matt!  I see you're taking a leaf from my book and going to Westbrook Electronics.  Have fun!  Cheesy
  

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Matt
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Re: FDK Need to Know
Reply #3 - Apr 10th, 2012 at 2:58am
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What story did you mention Westbrook? I don't remember it, but then, again, it was more than five minutes ago. Wink
  

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Re: FDK Need to Know
Reply #4 - Apr 22nd, 2012 at 10:48pm
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Ooh, another part.   Smiley
Off to read after a championship bout of killing moss on the patio.
  

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Neesierie
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Straker, somehow it's
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Re: FDK Need to Know
Reply #5 - Apr 23rd, 2012 at 10:28pm
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It was one of my Chandra stories, "Noblest of All."  Chandra's mom Rosetta Shakespeare met Straker while undercover at Westbrook for the Chronosian government.

I enjoyed their first meeting in your story!  Kiss  However, I have a problem with one of your sentences.  You wrote: "As he met her eyes with his, it was as if she could see to the depth of his soul."  Who's point of view are you taking here, because you were with Straker, but the second half of the sentence seems to be from Ginny's POV.  It's just too unclear with the wording.  If you meant that Straker felt as though she could see into his soul, you might want to clarify that.  It's a poignant moment and you don't want to spoil it with poor syntax.  Just saying.  No offense intended.  You know me.  I love a romantic moment!  Wink
  

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Matt
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Re: FDK Need to Know
Reply #6 - Apr 23rd, 2012 at 11:30pm
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Neesierie wrote on Apr 23rd, 2012 at 10:28pm:
It was one of my Chandra stories, "Noblest of All."  Chandra's mom Rosetta Shakespeare met Straker while undercover at Westbrook for the Chronosian government.


That's why I didn't remember it, I haven't read your Chandra series. (Shame on me. Embarrassed)

I fixed the passage, it now reads; "As he met her eyes with his, he felt as if she could see to the depth of his soul."

I agree, it is a powerful moment, and I don't want the reader to be confused. Very good critique, no offense taken.  Wink

Notice, I haven't clued the reader into Ginny's thoughts, that comes later.  Kiss
  

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Neesierie
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Straker, somehow it's
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Re: FDK Need to Know
Reply #7 - Apr 25th, 2012 at 2:25am
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Oh, that's much better!  Thanks!  Smiley
  

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Re: FDK Need to Know
Reply #8 - May 4th, 2012 at 3:43am
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Ah, and she feels the connection to him. Excellent!  Smiley
  

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Matt
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Re: FDK Need to Know
Reply #9 - May 26th, 2012 at 3:30pm
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The next bit is up, RL is still getting in the way. Smiley
  

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Neesierie
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Straker, somehow it's
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Re: FDK Need to Know
Reply #10 - May 29th, 2012 at 10:05pm
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For me too, Matt!  Doesn't reality suck sometimes?  The stress has got to let up sooner or later, though.  (At least, that's what I keep telling myself!)  Wink
  

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Matt
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Everyone at SHADO drinks
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Re: FDK Need to Know
Reply #11 - Jun 1st, 2012 at 4:33pm
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This too, will pass. Wink
  

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Matt
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Everyone at SHADO drinks
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Re: FDK Need to Know
Reply #12 - Jan 6th, 2013 at 7:54pm
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Going to try and finish this. Deb, could you turn on the light bulb for the story? I must have forgotten when I first posted it. Thanks.
  

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Re: FDK Need to Know
Reply #13 - Jan 7th, 2013 at 3:19pm
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Lightbulb on. And it's great to have you back on this story. (More secrets... whoo whoo!  Grin )
  

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Neesierie
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Straker, somehow it's
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Re: FDK Need to Know
Reply #14 - Jan 7th, 2013 at 8:36pm
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Nice new section, Matt! Smiley  It's good to see someone writing!  Maybe it'll help me to be motivated enough to finally figure out a way to get some time to myself so I can write!!!!!!
  

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