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Very Hot Topic (More than 25 Replies) FDK Face-Off (Read 17777 times)
Lightcudder
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #30 - Jul 9th, 2010 at 6:57am
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Aaaaarrrgghhhhh!
I can't stand the tension.


What is going on here Denise! Undecided

What has Jackson done? Huh

What has happened to Ed? Shocked

This is cruel  cruel do you hear me?

  Angry
  

I need some air.
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Neesierie
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #31 - Jul 9th, 2010 at 7:41am
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Tongue
  
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Lightcudder
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #32 - Jul 9th, 2010 at 8:11am
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Tongue back at you.
  Angry

Is this going to make me cry? Cry
  

I need some air.
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Neesierie
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #33 - Jul 9th, 2010 at 8:33am
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I don't know.  It made me cry when I was working it out in my head.  But when I wrote it, I didn't cry.  So maybe it lost something in translation.  You'll have to tell me what you think.  I've added the rest of it for you.  Wink
  
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Lightcudder
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #34 - Jul 9th, 2010 at 8:48am
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Oh.


Oh.



Oh dear.

No. I didn't cry.

But it made me think.  Undecided

and you are right.You HAVE to do a sequel.It ends a little ...unfinished somehow....
too many questions still to be answered.


I LOVE it! Wink
  

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Neesierie
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #35 - Jul 9th, 2010 at 8:52am
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Nope.  Questions all answered.  Story ended.  Done.  So there!  Tongue

I need a vacation!  :Smiley
  
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Lightcudder
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #36 - Jul 9th, 2010 at 8:54am
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Meanie.

  Tongue

Seriously though, its wonderful.

I would like to know how you envisage it all ending though...

does he recover? Shocked

does he go back to work?  Smiley
  

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Neesierie
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #37 - Jul 9th, 2010 at 8:56am
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Oh.  Yeah.  Wasn't that clear?  I guess I thought that was understood.   Huh

Shoot.   Undecided
  
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Lightcudder
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #38 - Jul 9th, 2010 at 9:24am
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Nah.... don't worry about it..it's my fault

i assume all ended well? I think so anyway!

I just need things spelling out for me sometimes.. Hard morning here and brain not functioning on all cylinders! Sad
  

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Lightcudder
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #39 - Jul 9th, 2010 at 9:50am
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Me again. I read it through. without distractions this time. Yes. Sorry. the clues are there. My fault. Comes of being desperate to find out what Jackson had done.


I'll be more patient in future.  Embarrassed


Printed it out now to read properly! Smiley

(But I'd still like a sequel! Wink)
  

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Lightcudder
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #40 - Jul 9th, 2010 at 11:32am
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Okay.. Final Chapters Review


Chapter 4
Meg and Alec. What another nice, sensuous start to the chapter particularly after the almost physically violent ending of the previous one : blood on his hands.

Interesting how you contrast the way Alec obtains his information with the methods used by Jackson!
And Jackson, having won  the battle, capitulates, at least with regard to the food.. or is there  a hidden agenda there?

The conversation becomes far less antagonistic, even though it is discussing things that obviously Straker wants to keep hidden.

And we learn about Jackson’s wife. And the whole scene seems to have eased up, two men almost chatting informally, discussing women, marriage. Straker commenting ‘dryly’ asking ‘curiously’

Jackson grinning, smiling.

And then the crunch at the end.

The ‘telltale blink’

Chapter 5

Alec and Meg.. still hard at it Alec?

I love the way Alec looks at her ‘ as if seeing her for the first time’ as if he has suddenly realised exactly  what  Meg has been doing all this time. Alec’s opinion of women, all women were as cold and heartless and the dark side of the Moon (and it’s not dark actually Denise! It gets sunlight! You should know.. You’ve been there! – only joking. I know you used the phrase deliberately!) would be worth exploring in another story.

Interesting that he feels that women are cold and heartless, yet he uses them in a cold and heartless way to get what he wants…not sex, but information about his friend.. who is also considered to be cold and heartless by some people! 

And what about Jackson? Is Alec as bad as the doctor for using people to get what he wants?  Just a thought.

So Jackson has been using the truth drug on The Man. Not very nice. In fact, extremely mean. But then, we see that really, under that cold exterior, Jackson seems to care deeply for Straker. He is concerned that unless he helps Straker to break through the barrier, SHADO will lose its commander. And Jackson certainly does not want that to happen.

The moment when he ‘stared at him in shock’ and ‘wanted to shake the commander out of this unexpected, uncharacteristic  despair,’ shows us that the doctor is doing his best to help, and this sudden turn of events has really worried him.

I like Jackson at this point!, especially when he breathes  a huge sigh of relief!

There’s the first clue that I originally missed. It will all be sorted out now.. Things have been broken and may possibly never be repaired, but if Jackson is sighing with relief, then all will be well. Eventually.

Ed’s weary ‘God. I’ve lost it. I’ve really lost it.’ and Jackson’s reply ‘I think you’re finally  beginning to find it again .’ is the second clue.

And then we get the gradual explanation.. the UFO , the encounter with the artist.. lovely link there between the mural, and Ed and her, and then the additional nasty bit with Mary leaving him and his guilt and remorse but also the deeper guilt that he wished Mary had left him before he went to Scotland.

Oh boy. That is some guilt.

The epilogue is a rather lovely end to their meeting. Jackson is now established as someone who is trying to help, not harm The Man, someone who is desperate to get the commander back in charge. The last part of the conversation has the two men, not at loggerheads in a Face Off, as at the start, but almost as friends. 

No one loses.

And everything is going to work out .. ..eventually.

I can imagine the final scene as Jackson smiles and tucks the blankets around his commander and leaves him to sleep.

Thanks for such a great story.Very ,very different, very very enjoyable and thought provoking.

Now.. how about Alec and Jackson next. What makes Alec tick? Shocked

And I wonder if we will see Ed and Jackson again.... in another confrontation? But I think Ed would have a little more respect for the good doctor now! Wink

 


  

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Matt
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #41 - Jul 9th, 2010 at 12:17pm
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Outstanding story Denise, Smiley Outstanding review Louise! Smiley

I bow to both of you! Cheesy

(Matt takes out his pad and adds another story to the ever growing list of reviews to do!) Smiley
  

What do you mean, we're out of coffee!
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Neesierie
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #42 - Jul 9th, 2010 at 2:16pm
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Louise,
I know I teased you mercilessly with this story, and although I'm not sorry (snicker), I am very grateful that you put up with me!  Wink  Thank you for the outstanding review.  Cool

It may be a while before I put this story up online, simply because -- yes, it begs for a sequel.  But when I do put it online, I shall write a review of your review to put on my Letters to Louise page.  I need a little distance first before I tackle a sequel.  I'm not positive that the story does all I wanted it to do.  But somehow I couldn't make him completely lose it at the climax.  Maybe it would have been a stronger story if I had.  Huh
  
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Lightcudder
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #43 - Jul 9th, 2010 at 2:26pm
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There was something about this story that simply grabbed me and wouldn't let go. Kiss

I don't know whether it would have been a stronger story if he had completely lost it... I think that might have been the easier option to do from a writing point of view, whereas the ending you have leaves the reader needing to disect the story to find the clues as to what happens next.

Much harder to do I think.

But it does leave the reader with a lot of unanswered questions Huh

Alec and his mother... what exactly did Ed mean about Alec not getting married?  Tongue
How does Ed return to work? Shocked
Does Alec tell Ed about the monitoring room?  Undecided

oh yes.. most important of all


Does the mural get replaced!! Wink
  

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dragon
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #44 - Jul 9th, 2010 at 2:37pm
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Oh my... yeah. Alec is sometimes not as smart as he thinks he is. Good work.
  
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