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Very Hot Topic (More than 25 Replies) FDK Face-Off (Read 16792 times)
Lightcudder
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #15 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 8:01am
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Oh. Well in that case....

  Smiley

But I want an extra long update later!!!

  Grin
  

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Neesierie
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #16 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 8:04am
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So do I! Wink  We'll see what happens.  I've got to make the commander cry in this chapter, so either it will flow like water or I'll be fighting to get said all I want to say.  I never know beforehand.  Tongue
  
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #17 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 8:16am
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That's mean Denise.. making him cry. Cry
I have a very sneaky suspicion that I might just know what this is all about, but I'm probably wrong.  Huh

Can't wait though!...except I'll have to won't I? Angry


  

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Lightcudder
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #18 - Jul 7th, 2010 at 7:39am
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Well, I was wrong with my idea.. which I am actually very pleased about!
I've printed this story off and because I simply can't concentrate on Dark Matter at the moment,(thankyou so much Denise It's all your fault! Angry I can't wait for the next update.. this is truly rivetting!) i'm doing a serious review of Face Off;
Here is the first part

Face Off    A review so far

Prologue
Love the opening sentence! We’ve discussed before how important titles are to us both, and, having read the story to Chapter three so far,  this title seems to be on several levels again. Meg is an interesting character.. I had a feeling when I read this part that she would be monitoring someone.. but not sure initially whether she was part of SHADO or some other group.

Chapter 1
Straight away I knew it was The Man..pyjamas.. you simply can’t have him in a hospital robe! He seems to be getting in some serious trouble recently in some of your stories Denise! As soon as I read about the cuts on his hands I had a sneaking suspicion how he had got them. I liked the way you described the hospital room… giving us a sense that all is not well, that there is more here than Ed simply being hurt. And there is an underlying acceptance that this (him being hurt) is a frequent occurrence. So this Ed is someone who has suffered in the past.

I love the description of his hands. I find hands so hard to draw, but you have created a wonderful picture of them in words. I can see them now! (but I still can’t draw them properly!)
Dr Jackson…… smooth, silky, creepy, with underlying notes of treachery and hidden agendas! (sounds like an aftershave!) I like the contrast with Schroeder ( who I always thought was an excellent actor as well!)
The conversation is brilliant.

Curt, short sentences.  Words thrown back and forth as if they are battling with each other. And the emphasis is in Straker’s actions and expressions, not so much on Jackson, who is more or less just sitting there, waiting to pounce.
It focuses the reader on Straker and what he is feeling and thinking. Great Stuff!

And the last sentence… ‘In your mind’ I can hear Jackson drawing out that last vowel, with that peculiarly Slavonic accent, and that almost leery look in his eyes!
Reading through, this is a very intense chapter, in that all the action takes place in one small room, between two opposing characters. Very much a Face Off.

I don’t know how exhausted Ed was after this, but I was worn out!!

  

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Lightcudder
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #19 - Jul 7th, 2010 at 8:07am
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My review... continued

Chapter 2

Meg again. And she is clearly a SHADO operative, but we still don’t know quite what she is doing ..yet. I like these little intrigues, they keep the reader guessing  about what is happening. Good reprise of the Mindbender and TImelash incidents.. so this story isn’t about either of those, and probably not anything similar. So, something very unusual… especially as Meg says ‘It shouldn’t have happened,’

A hint of what is to come in the next words? Madness, chaos and death’? No… you wouldn’t…...would you?
I’m getting seriously worried now, especially after the prologue!

So we go back into the detention room. And Straker is instantly on  the defensive, with Jackson calmly sitting there. Straker is the one asking the questions, as if trying to find an explanation, as if desperately trying to deny that he is the actual cause for what has happened.

We find out that Straker  is under constant observation in SHADO, and the reasons for that observation, and there is the hint that this could be   a mental breakdown, and that Straker is aware that this could be the case. This is a really thoughtful intense story, not action-packed, little techno-speak, no aliens, but it is so true to the series, so indicative of what might have gone on after, Mindbender or Timelash for example.

And in those episodes we see just how vital Ed is to the running of SHADO and how the aliens need to remove him. Is all this an alien plot to destroy Straker? Somehow I really don’t think so. I have the feeling that this  is a descent into hell by someone who has been pushed to the very limits of his endurance. And perhaps that’s why I find this a compulsive read.

Masks within masks.. and yet Straker is hiding behind a mask even now. What else is he masking from us?

I love the bit about coffee! A little moment of light relief in an otherwise tense and dramatic story. but you use it to develop the story… Straker not eating, not sleeping , having nightmares,etc.
You cleverly keep his nightmares secret, but hint at truly dreadful  things….

Another cliff-hanger off and ending. And again I can hear that silkily smooth voice, that creepy tone..’What happened two weeks ago to precipitate this crisis?’

Now that made me think! I was quite happily running along the line of something happening in the office.. some event maybe in Control etc, but to discover that whatever it was happened two weeks ago.. puts a whole new perspective on things.. Very clever, very cunning, very  ‘Denise’. 

Brilliantly done.
  

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Lightcudder
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #20 - Jul 7th, 2010 at 8:35am
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Chapter 3

I like the symmetry of this.. Meg at the beginning of the chapter again, and you let us into the secret of what she is doing. Even Ed doesn’t know what is going on here. More masks, more secrets.
What a sensuous scene between Alec and Meg.. but then we begin to realise that he is merely using her as a tool to help him find out what is happening to his friend. The things a man will do for  a friend!  I’m sure Alec hated every moment of it!!
(Loved the last two sentences of  this part!! ‘It paid to love your work, he always thought. And he was a very hard worker.’ Double entendres all over the place!!  Who is hiding behind a mask now?

And after that intimate, intensely physical meeting between Alec and Meg, there is another meeting between Ed and Jackson. A very different meeting. Cold, unemotional, unfriendly. No contact, probably very little eye contact either.
 
We get the impression that  Jackson now has the upper hand, that he is winning this battle. Little hints ‘ suavely, insolently, dryly’ and Straker, stressed, hands  clenched, shrugging, is losing it, and possibly losing more than just the battle of wills.

Nice touch with the orderly ignoring Jackson and being respectful to Straker. And the food…
Lovely idea to introduce Ed’s mother and we get the feeling that there are unresolved issues here.

Nice little insert with Alec and Meg!

Still hard at work Alec? Shocked

The conversation goes back to being a battle. Each man reluctant to give way, short phrases , short sentences and then Jackson mentions church.

And Straker is reluctant to answer.  Oh Boy. Is that where this is leading? Jackson really has the upper hand now; He shrugged carelessly, ‘But the choice is up to you.’

And the ‘fight’ seems to have been won. Jackson seems to have eased up on Straker.. asking softly……., gentle questions…. But then he returns one final blow. ‘Tell me Commander!’ the doctor demanded..
And Straker, beaten, capitulates. And breaks down.
The final paragraph brings Ed back to composure, to acceptance. And his reasons.  And you leave the reader wondering exactly what happened two weeks ago and what on earth  happened in his office to make him react in such a way.

Blood on his hands…. In more ways than one I think. Shades of Macbeth?
  

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Neesierie
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #21 - Jul 7th, 2010 at 8:52am
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Wow!  Shocked 
I'm a bit overwhelmed.  That's a pretty awesome review, Louise!  Thanks!  Cool

This story -- for all that it's mostly dialogue -- takes a lot out of me as I'm writing it.  Which is probably why I haven't done more than a chapter a day on it.  But we're coming down to the wire now.  I don't know yet if there will be a 5th chapter, but things have come to a head and will be exposed in the 4th. 
For me, one of the most intriguing aspects of the commander's character is his repression.  There is so very much more going on inside the man than he ever lets you see.  But you get glimpses of it occasionally in his eyes.  And man -- you gotta love those eyes!  Kiss  So this story is really enjoyable for me to write, because I'm slowly peeling back the layers he's been hiding under and revealing the inner man.  SUCH a thrill!  Wink

It's a pleasure to share that thrill with you!  Stay tuned for the climax of the story, coming up sometime today.  Probably.  Wink 
  
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Lightcudder
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #22 - Jul 7th, 2010 at 8:57am
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Takes a lot out of writing it?

Boy, you should try READING it Denise.. it's all right for you .You know what's happening next!
 
repressed men, blood on his hands,  I can't cope with the stress!

but you are right.. The EYES! Lord, those eyes.. why do you think I always start a pic with the eyes.

Hope its going to end happily Huh
  

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Neesierie
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #23 - Jul 7th, 2010 at 9:06am
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Well, see.  I hate to say it, but the thing is, this is the kind of story that begs for a sequel.

And the reason I hate to say it is that any sequel would need to be as intense as the first story was.  And I might need a vacation first!  Tongue

But yes, the story ends happy.  Or at least, with him at peace.  You may need the sequel to get to happy.  Wink  Confused yet?  Cheesy
  
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Lightcudder
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #24 - Jul 7th, 2010 at 9:34am
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Yipeee A Sequel!

I love it when when  Denise does a sequel!

Except.. I have an awful lot of emotion invested in this story.

I hope i don't end up repressed and with blood on my hands! Grin

Am I going to be in tears?

Please warn me beforehand. Cry

I'm going to have to go and draw now. Eyes.
  

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Matt
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #25 - Jul 7th, 2010 at 12:27pm
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Alec was very hard at work! Cheesy

You have Jackson spot on here in his sinister mode, very nice!.

I'm adding this one to the list of reviews I need to do! Smiley
  

What do you mean, we're out of coffee!
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Neesierie
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #26 - Jul 7th, 2010 at 2:23pm
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Matt said:
'Alec was very hard at work!'

Why does this sound so much naughtier when you say it than when I said it in the story?  Wink
  
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Matt
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #27 - Jul 7th, 2010 at 2:25pm
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No comment! Cheesy I'm much too much of a gentleman to go there! Smiley
  

What do you mean, we're out of coffee!
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Neesierie
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #28 - Jul 7th, 2010 at 2:26pm
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*snicker*snicker*
  
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dragon
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Re: FDK Face-Off
Reply #29 - Jul 7th, 2010 at 3:20pm
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Enjoying. Nothing to add to Louise's review. dragon done in.
  
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