(uses his teacher voice ) You take a man, students, have him walk into a room. The man propelled himself into the room like a rocket, giving the illusion that his shabbily patched jeans were on fire. The man trotted into the room, swept his eyes over the crowd like a beam from a lighthouse, and drank in the admiration as if it was no less than what he was due. The man crept with resentment into the room, blending instantly with the disintegrating, flocked wallpaper. The man bounced into the room, his facial expressions changing as fast as last year's fad. The man swung into the room, and instantly held their attention, his gaze pinning everyone there to him like a doomed butterfly. The man glided into the room, his spine as straight as a bullet, his blue eyes flashing a warning like a biological siren. (I may use that one) Grin. So what do the metaphors and similes tell you? Who are these men? Where do they come from? Why have they come? What are they up to? Which do you trust? Why? Metaphors and similes WORK. Sure, if you just throw them in haphazardly, they won't matter. But if you're trying to say something about the characters, trying to create a mood, even using them as foreshadowing, then use them. Amelia was informed she was gifted, but told she still had to learn the basics. After that she was told, throw everything out. Find your own voice. I developed my love for metaphor from the master. Raymond Chandler. He turned mysteries into literature. When Amelia bought Bishop's audio tapes of the Philip Marlowe books, I purchased the books, preferring print and began my love affair. Chandler's real life was really screwed up. He was an alcoholic. His wife lied to him about how old she was. But when he sat at the typewriter, magic happened.If there's anything I can teach anyone here, it's never let anyone discourage you by saying your style sucks. Don't assume anyone is an expert on anything. Even me. Because something can irk one person, doesn't mean it's a finite rule to be followed. Explore. Hold their feet to the fire. See if they practice what they preach. You may be surprised to find out they DON'T. You may find that they bend the road to make you reach their destination. That'll only get you lost. That's a metaphor. Class dismissed. ED
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