Matt Colonel Offline Everyone at SHADO drinks coffee! Posts: 2391 Location: Coventry, RI Re: FDK Silver Star Reply #45 - Jul 27th, 2010 at 6:54pm Print Post Denise said it best, it's like walking a tightrope. I just finished chapter 5. The story will cover a bit of ground after the episode, Ed fixing SID, resolving Ginny's and Paul's brief relationship etc. This story ties a bunch of loose ends and sets the stage for the next part of the saga. Ed and his feelings, that should be fun! What do you mean, we're out of coffee! WWW IP Logged
Matt Colonel Offline Everyone at SHADO drinks coffee! Posts: 2391 Location: Coventry, RI Re: FDK Silver Star Reply #46 - Jul 28th, 2010 at 12:05pm Print Post I just reposted the last paragraph as it wasn't quite working the way I wanted. In the episode Ed seemed suspisious of Craig towards the end. What do you mean, we're out of coffee! WWW IP Logged
Lightcudder Colonel Offline Trust no one. Posts: 1311 Location: Here. When you least expect it Re: FDK Silver Star Reply #47 - Jul 28th, 2010 at 12:11pm Print Post Yes, the end works better now. I like the way Ed has realised that GInny has feelings for him, and his acceptance that he still has to work with Craig, despite his reservations. Nice conversation between Ed and GInny. I need some air. WWW IP Logged
Neesierie Ex Member Re: FDK Silver Star Reply #48 - Jul 28th, 2010 at 1:28pm Print Post This episode sucked on so many levels that I'm surprised that you are making it work for you, Matt! But I still think it was foolish of Straker to keep Collins on the mission when there were concerns about him. Friend or no friend. He called down the others for going by their emotions rather than facts. Well, he needed to heed his own advice! I think you're very brave to tackle a storyline filled with so many flaws. But so far, you're doing a decent job with it. Don't stop now! IP Logged
Matt Colonel Offline Everyone at SHADO drinks coffee! Posts: 2391 Location: Coventry, RI Re: FDK Silver Star Reply #49 - Jul 28th, 2010 at 1:48pm Print Post You're right Denise, but the basic storyline was actully sound. It wouldn't have taken much to turn a poorly written episode into a good one. As fas as Ed is concerned, you raise a valid point, why did he not relieve Collins at this juncture. The only thing that makes sense is Ed assumes that Collins is not a threat to him. At this point Ed knows nothing of the test Jackson had put Collins through, and Ginny doesn't make a formal complaint. I have to believe that Ed would have grounded him had he even suspected alien involvement. I think you hit the nail on the head with the "walking a tightrope" comment. What a great comparision! What do you mean, we're out of coffee! WWW IP Logged
Neesierie Ex Member Re: FDK Silver Star Reply #50 - Jul 28th, 2010 at 1:59pm Print Post Yes, but see? That just proves my point! The doctor should have informed Straker at the first opportunity that something was up. This was an important mission, after all! Dumb episode! IP Logged
Matt Colonel Offline Everyone at SHADO drinks coffee! Posts: 2391 Location: Coventry, RI Re: FDK Silver Star Reply #51 - Jul 28th, 2010 at 2:09pm Print Post I do have to agree with you there, even if the test was unofficial as Jackson had stated. I would have left that bit out of the plot as it would have raised my eyebrows had I been Jackson. I'm suprised because the same writer did "Timelash" and I liked that episode although there were a few flaws with that one as well. We all missed our calling Denise we should have been scriptwriters! What do you mean, we're out of coffee! WWW IP Logged
Neesierie Ex Member Re: FDK Silver Star Reply #52 - Jul 28th, 2010 at 10:36pm Print Post They needed something! But I don't think you'd ever get Gerry Anderson to admit that. I don't think he saw UFO as any different from his puppet shows. Especially since Space:1999 also suffered from lack of credibility. I don't know what he was thinking though, since UFO definitely was not a children's program! IP Logged
Matt Colonel Offline Everyone at SHADO drinks coffee! Posts: 2391 Location: Coventry, RI Re: FDK Silver Star Reply #53 - Jul 28th, 2010 at 11:03pm Print Post I don't know if it was Gerry's fault or the writer's or both! I think Louise hit the nail on the head when she said earlier that the series lacked an overacrhing theme, or continuity between the episodes. But I've seen that in the first season of most shows, even Star Trek! TNG was a little better but I wasn't impressed with the first season at all. That being said, a show with flaws can be a FanFic writer's dream! Like UFO! What do you mean, we're out of coffee! WWW IP Logged
Matt Colonel Offline Everyone at SHADO drinks coffee! Posts: 2391 Location: Coventry, RI Re: FDK Silver Star Reply #54 - Jul 28th, 2010 at 11:42pm Print Post I reposted chapters 6 and 7 with some corrections and minor additions. What do you mean, we're out of coffee! WWW IP Logged
Matt Colonel Offline Everyone at SHADO drinks coffee! Posts: 2391 Location: Coventry, RI Re: FDK Silver Star Reply #55 - Jul 29th, 2010 at 2:04am Print Post Okay, the first draft of Silver Star is done! (whew) Let me know what you all think, don't be afraid to be honest! What do you mean, we're out of coffee! WWW IP Logged
Neesierie Ex Member Re: FDK Silver Star Reply #56 - Jul 29th, 2010 at 4:04am Print Post Interesting way to end it. Paul gets to grow up a bit, eh? If I had been Ginny, I wouldn't have told the commander anything about my relationship with Paul (no matter how much I loved Straker! Actually, especially if I loved Straker!) But I believe that's a woman thing, and one no man could be expected to understand. So I'm not quibbling. Just saying. IP Logged
Matt Colonel Offline Everyone at SHADO drinks coffee! Posts: 2391 Location: Coventry, RI Re: FDK Silver Star Reply #57 - Jul 29th, 2010 at 12:23pm Print Post Yeah, Paul in therapy, can you believe it? That would make an interesting story in itself! Having him grow up later in the story arc he had to start somewhere, and this seemed like the right time. I'm not sure if the Ginny bit will survive the final cut. Denise I know you are a private person so I can understand why you would feel that way. I'm trying to get my head around what Ginny would do in this situation. She might be more assertive but I don't know? Louise any thoughts? I do have a plan B that would work just as well, maybe better, so if I have to change this it's not a big deal! What do you mean, we're out of coffee! WWW IP Logged
Lightcudder Colonel Offline Trust no one. Posts: 1311 Location: Here. When you least expect it Re: FDK Silver Star Reply #58 - Jul 29th, 2010 at 12:43pm Print Post I think the end is fine Matt, but I would like to see a more reflective Ginny at the end of the last chapter.. instead of ending it with a conversation, perhaps her thoughts about her past relationships and the feelings she has for Straker.. that her relationships don't last becuase she desires someone else and is not prepared to settle for second best.. it might contrast nicely with Paul's scene where he admits to problems. Just a thought . I need some air. WWW IP Logged
Matt Colonel Offline Everyone at SHADO drinks coffee! Posts: 2391 Location: Coventry, RI Re: FDK Silver Star Reply #59 - Jul 29th, 2010 at 12:45pm Print Post Great idea! I like it! Thanks, Louise! What do you mean, we're out of coffee! WWW IP Logged
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