SHADO
Welcome, Guest. Please Login or Register

News:
Page Index Toggle Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 8 Add Poll Send Topic
Very Hot Topic (More than 25 Replies) FDK Distant Memories (Read 24672 times)
Matt
Colonel
*****
Offline


Everyone at SHADO drinks
coffee!

Posts: 2391
Location: Coventry, RI
FDK Distant Memories
Jul 3rd, 2010 at 11:16pm
Print Post  
Ok gang, this is real! I do have a serious idea for this story! Smiley

Please don't be sore at me Louise! Grin

I wasn't going to do this but the idea just would not go away! Smiley

Besides, I know my wife will like this one! Wink
  

What do you mean, we're out of coffee!
Back to top
WWW  
IP Logged
 
Neesierie
Ex Member


Re: FDK Distant Memories
Reply #1 - Jul 5th, 2010 at 11:19am
Print Post  
Okay.  First off, I didn't hate this story at all!  Wink  Which was a surprise, since I hate westerns.  And have never been keen on Ginny either.  But having said that, you've really got an interesting story going here, Matt.  :Smiley

I haven't seen Bonanza in too many years to count, but I can picture the boys around the table.  That was very good.

I only have one quibble.  I seriously doubt that they would be able to accurately place where Ginny ended up quite so quickly.  It would take a serious amount of time to do the calculations necessary (if such calculations were even possible!) to pinpoint her exact location.  Time travel simply isn't as easy as a stop on a bus route.  Just my humble opinion.  Cool  However, the rest of the techno-babble sounded good.  Wink
  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Matt
Colonel
*****
Offline


Everyone at SHADO drinks
coffee!

Posts: 2391
Location: Coventry, RI
Re: FDK Distant Memories
Reply #2 - Jul 5th, 2010 at 4:02pm
Print Post  
Thanks, Denise, I was toying with the idea of having them find out when she landed after the recon team arrives in mordern day Nevada. Carbon dating of the surrounding soil something like that. But I like the idea of them finding where she ended up fairly quickly. Picture how the reality changed around the crew in "Yesterday's Enterprise". The SID network in my stoy line can sense quantuum singularities which is the method I envision the aliens using to power their craft. This story is probably going to go through a few re-drafts before I get it right. Wink

I'm sure you already know that Ben is going to fall for Ginny! I haven't decided yet how much fire I'm going to let brew between them. I'm still toying with the idea of Adam and Ben ending up in a father son rivalry over her! Shocked That could be fun!

It's been a while since I've watched Bonanza as well, I'm going to have to watch a couple just to get the diction down on the characters, Adam mostly, as I think I have Ben down fairly well.

I'm going to finish chapter one then look back at it and re draft it to incorporate the changes. I'll have a better idea where I'm going by then! Cheesy
  

What do you mean, we're out of coffee!
Back to top
WWW  
IP Logged
 
Lightcudder
Colonel
*****
Offline


Trust no one.

Posts: 1311
Location: Here. When you least expect it
Re: FDK Distant Memories
Reply #3 - Jul 5th, 2010 at 6:32pm
Print Post  
Its a very dramatic beginnig Matt! really good prologue Smiley
Hop Sing...Now that name brings back memories. Can't remember when I last watched Bonanza!
Just one query. Why was Ed rushing if he didn't know Virginia was missing?

Chapter 1
I like reading Virginia's POV.
and the descriptions of the family!

TAchyons! I LOVE tachyons.. ever since Spock Must Die! Shocked
Great science explanations!
  And Virginia's thoughts about Ed at the end...Ah....... Cry

Good Work! Wink
  

I need some air.
Back to top
WWW  
IP Logged
 
Neesierie
Ex Member


Re: FDK Distant Memories
Reply #4 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 2:29pm
Print Post  
Matt,
Just reread what you've got so far and did a bit of research on a word that sounded out of place for the 1860's.  'Acronym' wasn't invented until 1940.  You might want to change your word there to something that fits the timeframe.  It's a pain, I know.  I had to do it a lot when I was writing the Devilsgate Saga.  You'd be amazed at how much of our modern speech wasn't around even 100 years ago!  Wink

Otherwise, this is really a cool story.  I may hate westerns.  I may dislike Ginny.  But I LOVE amnesia stories!  Grin
  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Matt
Colonel
*****
Offline


Everyone at SHADO drinks
coffee!

Posts: 2391
Location: Coventry, RI
Re: FDK Distant Memories
Reply #5 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 2:54pm
Print Post  
Thanks for the tip! That helps! Smiley I can rewrite that section.

This one is going a bit slow mostly because I haven't had as much time to write. Hate it when that happens. Angry

I didn't know you liked amnesia stories, I may try it again someday (not a crossover). Wink

BTW Denise, I just got off the phone with my Mom, I had sent her my website as well as FanFiction. She mentioned that she had looked over some of your work as well. She likes romance! Smiley
  

What do you mean, we're out of coffee!
Back to top
WWW  
IP Logged
 
Neesierie
Ex Member


Re: FDK Distant Memories
Reply #6 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 3:07pm
Print Post  
Wow!  For real?  That's so cool!   Cool  Matt's mom has read a few of my stories!  I am so honored!  Smiley 

Wow.  I'm going to go bask in the glory of this moment.  See y'all later!

Oh.  Wait a minute.  Did she say she actually liked any of them?  Or just read them?  Maybe I'm getting euphoric way too soon!  Huh
  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Matt
Colonel
*****
Offline


Everyone at SHADO drinks
coffee!

Posts: 2391
Location: Coventry, RI
Re: FDK Distant Memories
Reply #7 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 3:28pm
Print Post  
I'll find out! I told her to read Louise's work as well! Smiley

I recommeded Kid Stuff and Verified to her! Smiley

She must have liked it as she commented on it! Wink

BTW I fixed the acronym problem. Thanks! Smiley
  

What do you mean, we're out of coffee!
Back to top
WWW  
IP Logged
 
Neesierie
Ex Member


Re: FDK Distant Memories
Reply #8 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 5:10pm
Print Post  
Nice new section, Matt!  I wonder what Ginny will think of the UFO?  :Smiley

Oh, and a good save on the 'acronym' line!   Wink

More, please!
  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Matt
Colonel
*****
Offline


Everyone at SHADO drinks
coffee!

Posts: 2391
Location: Coventry, RI
Re: FDK Distant Memories
Reply #9 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 5:14pm
Print Post  
I'm thinking some fear factor, something that will send her into Ben's arms! Kiss

I'll try to get to some more later on today, have to go do work stuff now! Wink
  

What do you mean, we're out of coffee!
Back to top
WWW  
IP Logged
 
dragon
Ex Member


Re: FDK Distant Memories
Reply #10 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 5:26pm
Print Post  
Nicely balanced between Ed and Virginia, current and past. Stingray? LOL. Excellent touch there.

laters

d
  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Matt
Colonel
*****
Offline


Everyone at SHADO drinks
coffee!

Posts: 2391
Location: Coventry, RI
Re: FDK Distant Memories
Reply #11 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 7:08pm
Print Post  
Thanks, dragon. Smiley

Which line reminded you of Stingray? Smiley Was it the Standy for fun comment I made on the other thread?  Smiley
  

What do you mean, we're out of coffee!
Back to top
WWW  
IP Logged
 
dragon
Ex Member


Re: FDK Distant Memories
Reply #12 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 7:35pm
Print Post  
shows how well my brain works, i misread Seagull for Stingray .... sigh. never mind.
  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Matt
Colonel
*****
Offline


Everyone at SHADO drinks
coffee!

Posts: 2391
Location: Coventry, RI
Re: FDK Distant Memories
Reply #13 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 9:51pm
Print Post  
No problem D, for some reason I had Stingray on my mind while I was writing this so you must of picked up on my excess vibes. Cool

Too cool! Smiley
  

What do you mean, we're out of coffee!
Back to top
WWW  
IP Logged
 
Neesierie
Ex Member


Re: FDK Distant Memories
Reply #14 - Jul 7th, 2010 at 6:12am
Print Post  
Nice new section, Matt.  Smiley
Although I'm not sure Ginny would speak of the alien ship quite that way.  Huh See, even with amnesia, she's still a woman of her own time period.  So she would tend to think in the terminology of the 20th century rather than the 19th.  Ben would speak of it that way, but that's because he too is a person bound by the thinking processes of his own time period.  Have I totally confused you now?  :Smiley
  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Page Index Toggle Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 8
Add Poll Send Topic
Bookmarks: del.icio.us Digg Facebook Google Google+ LinkedIn reddit StumbleUpon Twitter Yahoo