Matt Colonel Offline Everyone at SHADO drinks coffee! Posts: 2391 Location: Coventry, RI FDK Distant Memories Jul 3rd, 2010 at 11:16pm Print Post Ok gang, this is real! I do have a serious idea for this story! Please don't be sore at me Louise! I wasn't going to do this but the idea just would not go away! Besides, I know my wife will like this one! What do you mean, we're out of coffee! WWW IP Logged
Neesierie Ex Member Re: FDK Distant Memories Reply #1 - Jul 5th, 2010 at 11:19am Print Post Okay. First off, I didn't hate this story at all! Which was a surprise, since I hate westerns. And have never been keen on Ginny either. But having said that, you've really got an interesting story going here, Matt. : I haven't seen Bonanza in too many years to count, but I can picture the boys around the table. That was very good. I only have one quibble. I seriously doubt that they would be able to accurately place where Ginny ended up quite so quickly. It would take a serious amount of time to do the calculations necessary (if such calculations were even possible!) to pinpoint her exact location. Time travel simply isn't as easy as a stop on a bus route. Just my humble opinion. However, the rest of the techno-babble sounded good. IP Logged
Matt Colonel Offline Everyone at SHADO drinks coffee! Posts: 2391 Location: Coventry, RI Re: FDK Distant Memories Reply #2 - Jul 5th, 2010 at 4:02pm Print Post Thanks, Denise, I was toying with the idea of having them find out when she landed after the recon team arrives in mordern day Nevada. Carbon dating of the surrounding soil something like that. But I like the idea of them finding where she ended up fairly quickly. Picture how the reality changed around the crew in "Yesterday's Enterprise". The SID network in my stoy line can sense quantuum singularities which is the method I envision the aliens using to power their craft. This story is probably going to go through a few re-drafts before I get it right. I'm sure you already know that Ben is going to fall for Ginny! I haven't decided yet how much fire I'm going to let brew between them. I'm still toying with the idea of Adam and Ben ending up in a father son rivalry over her! That could be fun! It's been a while since I've watched Bonanza as well, I'm going to have to watch a couple just to get the diction down on the characters, Adam mostly, as I think I have Ben down fairly well. I'm going to finish chapter one then look back at it and re draft it to incorporate the changes. I'll have a better idea where I'm going by then! What do you mean, we're out of coffee! WWW IP Logged
Lightcudder Colonel Offline Trust no one. Posts: 1311 Location: Here. When you least expect it Re: FDK Distant Memories Reply #3 - Jul 5th, 2010 at 6:32pm Print Post Its a very dramatic beginnig Matt! really good prologue Hop Sing...Now that name brings back memories. Can't remember when I last watched Bonanza! Just one query. Why was Ed rushing if he didn't know Virginia was missing? Chapter 1 I like reading Virginia's POV. and the descriptions of the family! TAchyons! I LOVE tachyons.. ever since Spock Must Die! Great science explanations! And Virginia's thoughts about Ed at the end...Ah....... Good Work! I need some air. WWW IP Logged
Neesierie Ex Member Re: FDK Distant Memories Reply #4 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 2:29pm Print Post Matt, Just reread what you've got so far and did a bit of research on a word that sounded out of place for the 1860's. 'Acronym' wasn't invented until 1940. You might want to change your word there to something that fits the timeframe. It's a pain, I know. I had to do it a lot when I was writing the Devilsgate Saga. You'd be amazed at how much of our modern speech wasn't around even 100 years ago! Otherwise, this is really a cool story. I may hate westerns. I may dislike Ginny. But I LOVE amnesia stories! IP Logged
Matt Colonel Offline Everyone at SHADO drinks coffee! Posts: 2391 Location: Coventry, RI Re: FDK Distant Memories Reply #5 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 2:54pm Print Post Thanks for the tip! That helps! I can rewrite that section. This one is going a bit slow mostly because I haven't had as much time to write. Hate it when that happens. > I didn't know you liked amnesia stories, I may try it again someday (not a crossover). BTW Denise, I just got off the phone with my Mom, I had sent her my website as well as FanFiction. She mentioned that she had looked over some of your work as well. She likes romance! What do you mean, we're out of coffee! WWW IP Logged
Neesierie Ex Member Re: FDK Distant Memories Reply #6 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 3:07pm Print Post Wow! For real? That's so cool! Matt's mom has read a few of my stories! I am so honored! Wow. I'm going to go bask in the glory of this moment. See y'all later! Oh. Wait a minute. Did she say she actually liked any of them? Or just read them? Maybe I'm getting euphoric way too soon! IP Logged
Matt Colonel Offline Everyone at SHADO drinks coffee! Posts: 2391 Location: Coventry, RI Re: FDK Distant Memories Reply #7 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 3:28pm Print Post I'll find out! I told her to read Louise's work as well! I recommeded Kid Stuff and Verified to her! She must have liked it as she commented on it! BTW I fixed the acronym problem. Thanks! What do you mean, we're out of coffee! WWW IP Logged
Neesierie Ex Member Re: FDK Distant Memories Reply #8 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 5:10pm Print Post Nice new section, Matt! I wonder what Ginny will think of the UFO? : Oh, and a good save on the 'acronym' line! More, please! IP Logged
Matt Colonel Offline Everyone at SHADO drinks coffee! Posts: 2391 Location: Coventry, RI Re: FDK Distant Memories Reply #9 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 5:14pm Print Post I'm thinking some fear factor, something that will send her into Ben's arms! I'll try to get to some more later on today, have to go do work stuff now! What do you mean, we're out of coffee! WWW IP Logged
dragon Ex Member Re: FDK Distant Memories Reply #10 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 5:26pm Print Post Nicely balanced between Ed and Virginia, current and past. Stingray? LOL. Excellent touch there. laters d IP Logged
Matt Colonel Offline Everyone at SHADO drinks coffee! Posts: 2391 Location: Coventry, RI Re: FDK Distant Memories Reply #11 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 7:08pm Print Post Thanks, dragon. Which line reminded you of Stingray? Was it the Standy for fun comment I made on the other thread? What do you mean, we're out of coffee! WWW IP Logged
dragon Ex Member Re: FDK Distant Memories Reply #12 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 7:35pm Print Post shows how well my brain works, i misread Seagull for Stingray .... sigh. never mind. IP Logged
Matt Colonel Offline Everyone at SHADO drinks coffee! Posts: 2391 Location: Coventry, RI Re: FDK Distant Memories Reply #13 - Jul 6th, 2010 at 9:51pm Print Post No problem D, for some reason I had Stingray on my mind while I was writing this so you must of picked up on my excess vibes. Too cool! What do you mean, we're out of coffee! WWW IP Logged
Neesierie Ex Member Re: FDK Distant Memories Reply #14 - Jul 7th, 2010 at 6:12am Print Post Nice new section, Matt. Although I'm not sure Ginny would speak of the alien ship quite that way. See, even with amnesia, she's still a woman of her own time period. So she would tend to think in the terminology of the 20th century rather than the 19th. Ben would speak of it that way, but that's because he too is a person bound by the thinking processes of his own time period. Have I totally confused you now? IP Logged
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