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Hot Topic (More than 10 Replies) FDK Error Of Judgement (Read 3351 times)
Claire
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FDK Error Of Judgement
Apr 20th, 2011 at 9:43am
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Thought I would set up a thread here for any comments/brickbats/grenades/missile launchers and molly's to do with Error Of Judgement.  I know Error didn't start out in the guild but went straight to library and everyone else's comments for various stories are here.  And it frees up the AWOL thread  Cheesy  That, and a certain someone made me do it  Wink
  
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Write Rat
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Re: FDK Error Of Judgement
Reply #1 - Apr 20th, 2011 at 10:23am
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All through reading this again (I read this years ago ) I was thinking this isn't a story, it's a screenplay. It has a real screenplay feel to it, and that's a compliment. I was pissed as hell when I realized it doesn't conclude! Angry it keeps the readers' attention. Really nice work, really nice feel for the lead characters, nice suspense, pace, tension, conflict, a touch of humor, which I like. Ford doesn't get the attention the main characters do in the series, and this really adds more dimensions to him. I've always personally regarded Ford as an 'everyman' in the UFO universe. He's not a hero, he gets lost in all the action, he carries out his job, and that's that. Occasionally we get clearer glimpses into his personality, like in responsibility seat, where he (imo) has more sense than Straker does concerning Jo.  Grin He represents us. How we might be if we were involved in the fight against the aliens. So I very much liked this. Very believable secondary characters, too, good sense of natural dialogue. This could easily be an  UFO episode.

Off to take a class in the Jo Fraser School of reporting Wink
  
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Librarian
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Re: FDK Error Of Judgement
Reply #2 - Apr 20th, 2011 at 3:46pm
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I have one question/comment (aside from echoing Amelia and Ed's comment) - Ford believes that Louise is Lauritzen's almost fiancee. Now, the explanation that Lauritzen didn't tell anyone at 'work' about her... Um, this is the 'bomb on the mantle' for the next story, right?  :Smiley
  

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Matt
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Re: FDK Error Of Judgement
Reply #3 - Apr 20th, 2011 at 3:50pm
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First impressions:

I'm about a third of the way through Claire, and I've got to tell you I'm really enjoying the story. It's  very traditional, it's like watching one of the better episodes. Good job.

It took me a bit to figure out that you are using a different episode order than I do. I know that there are at least six of them and mine is slightly modified anyway. I picked up on the references to both Timelash and The Long Sleep. The characters seem to ring true, although Straker seemed a bit crabbier than normal at the start. Must have been the lack of sleep. *grin*

I would have finished it last night but I started getting tired. I'll have more to add as I continue to read.

Matt Smiley

  

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Claire
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Re: FDK Error Of Judgement
Reply #4 - Apr 20th, 2011 at 4:31pm
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Librarian wrote on Apr 20th, 2011 at 3:46pm:
I have one question/comment (aside from echoing Amelia and Ed's comment) - Ford believes that Louise is Lauritzen's almost fiancee. Now, the explanation that Lauritzen didn't tell anyone at 'work' about her... Um, this is the 'bomb on the mantle' for the next story, right?  :Smiley


Erm, no. That's it as far as the Louise and John part.  Repercussions deals with something else entirely  Wink depending on which way I take it.  Very interesting that you picked up on that because the reader can sometimes see a scenario forming that the writer did not intend although this is why this took so long to edit (hope you've recovered) to tie up all the loose ends and get it all tidied up.  I'm still tickled that you liked it (even though, like Amelia you saw it back in it's 2002 days as well).  Smiley

  
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Claire
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Re: FDK Error Of Judgement
Reply #5 - Apr 20th, 2011 at 4:36pm
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Matt wrote on Apr 20th, 2011 at 3:50pm:
First impressions:

I'm about a third of the way through Claire, and I've got to tell you I'm really enjoying the story. It's  very traditional, it's like watching one of the better episodes. Good job.

It took me a bit to figure out that you are using a different episode order than I do. I know that there are at least six of them and mine is slightly modified anyway. I picked up on the references to both Timelash and The Long Sleep. The characters seem to ring true, although Straker seemed a bit crabbier than normal at the start. Must have been the lack of sleep. *grin*

I would have finished it last night but I started getting tired. I'll have more to add as I continue to read.

Matt Smiley



That's praise indeed Matt, and you picked up on what I was trying to achieve; the 'like an episode' comment.  Straker was crabbier early on because as far as he was concerned this was the second time Ford has done it, and he did have a lack of sleep too  Smiley

I'm really glad you're enjoying it because it's always nerve racking when it goes live and it's the first time you've sent it.  I am now being pestered to get on with the sequel heh heh  Cheesy
  
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Claire
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Re: FDK Error Of Judgement
Reply #6 - Apr 20th, 2011 at 4:46pm
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Write Rat wrote on Apr 20th, 2011 at 10:23am:
All through reading this again (I read this years ago ) I was thinking this isn't a story, it's a screenplay. It has a real screenplay feel to it, and that's a compliment. I was pissed as hell when I realized it doesn't conclude! Angry it keeps the readers' attention. Really nice work, really nice feel for the lead characters, nice suspense, pace, tension, conflict, a touch of humor, which I like. Ford doesn't get the attention the main characters do in the series, and this really adds more dimensions to him. I've always personally regarded Ford as an 'everyman' in the UFO universe. He's not a hero, he gets lost in all the action, he carries out his job, and that's that. Occasionally we get clearer glimpses into his personality, like in responsibility seat, where he (imo) has more sense than Straker does concerning Jo.  Grin He represents us. How we might be if we were involved in the fight against the aliens. So I very much liked this. Very believable secondary characters, too, good sense of natural dialogue. This could easily be an  UFO episode.

Off to take a class in the Jo Fraser School of reporting Wink


Amelia and Ed, thanks so much for this lovely feedback, I am touched by you saying it's like a screenplay - boy, wouldn't I just LOVE to do that for a living.  Sadly, no decent shows over here from the UK and I don't know enough about US places and ways to write for the US (if I were able to be a screenwriter that is). 

I always try to make the stories as close to the show as I can, I have to love the characters I write about because trying to write about characters I don't feel invested in doesn't work, for me anyway.

I like the idea of Ford being an 'everyman' in UFO, he certainly was that, and he does represent us if we were in that position.

I'm so glad you liked it, with the few tweaks and rewrites from the original back in 2002 - 9 years ago <weep> and I'm sorry you didn't like it being unfinished, it is to a certain extent but to have tried to add Repercussions into (and the third part as yet untitled) it would have meant it was an unworkable and expensive luxury ... erm sorry I was channeling Henderson there for a minute  Shocked it would have taken people years to read it if they hadn't lost interest. 
  
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Re: FDK Error Of Judgement
Reply #7 - Apr 21st, 2011 at 6:19pm
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Claire,
Just finished the story.  Wow!  That was a lot of action for one tale to tell!  Of course, I suppose if I took one of my sagas and shoved all its stories into one long string, the action might be as intense.  Maybe.  Wink  Anyway, very well done.  I hope Keith turns out alright.  When do we get the sequel?  I know.  I know.  The fans are always screaming for more!  Cheesy
  

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Claire
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Re: FDK Error Of Judgement
Reply #8 - Apr 22nd, 2011 at 10:38am
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Neesierie wrote on Apr 21st, 2011 at 6:19pm:
Claire,
Just finished the story.  Wow!  That was a lot of action for one tale to tell!  Of course, I suppose if I took one of my sagas and shoved all its stories into one long string, the action might be as intense.  Maybe.  Wink  Anyway, very well done.  I hope Keith turns out alright.  When do we get the sequel?  I know.  I know.  The fans are always screaming for more!  Cheesy


Hi Denise,

Keith? well ... erm, we'll see.  I am hoping to start rewriting Repercussions this weekend, don't know how long it'll be but have to get my head in gear now Smiley and get it done.  Glad you liked it.
  
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Matt
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Re: FDK Error Of Judgement
Reply #9 - Apr 24th, 2011 at 6:33pm
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Claire wrote on Apr 20th, 2011 at 4:46pm:
Write Rat wrote on Apr 20th, 2011 at 10:23am:
All through reading this again (I read this years ago ) I was thinking this isn't a story, it's a screenplay. It has a real screenplay feel to it, and that's a compliment. I was pissed as hell when I realized it doesn't conclude! Angry it keeps the readers' attention. Really nice work, really nice feel for the lead characters, nice suspense, pace, tension, conflict, a touch of humor, which I like. Ford doesn't get the attention the main characters do in the series, and this really adds more dimensions to him. I've always personally regarded Ford as an 'everyman' in the UFO universe. He's not a hero, he gets lost in all the action, he carries out his job, and that's that. Occasionally we get clearer glimpses into his personality, like in responsibility seat, where he (imo) has more sense than Straker does concerning Jo.  Grin He represents us. How we might be if we were involved in the fight against the aliens. So I very much liked this. Very believable secondary characters, too, good sense of natural dialogue. This could easily be an  UFO episode.

Off to take a class in the Jo Fraser School of reporting Wink


Amelia and Ed, thanks so much for this lovely feedback, I am touched by you saying it's like a screenplay - boy, wouldn't I just LOVE to do that for a living.  Sadly, no decent shows over here from the UK and I don't know enough about US places and ways to write for the US (if I were able to be a screenwriter that is). 

I always try to make the stories as close to the show as I can, I have to love the characters I write about because trying to write about characters I don't feel invested in doesn't work, for me anyway.

I like the idea of Ford being an 'everyman' in UFO, he certainly was that, and he does represent us if we were in that position.

I'm so glad you liked it, with the few tweaks and rewrites from the original back in 2002 - 9 years ago <weep> and I'm sorry you didn't like it being unfinished, it is to a certain extent but to have tried to add Repercussions into (and the third part as yet untitled) it would have meant it was an unworkable and expensive luxury ... erm sorry I was channeling Henderson there for a minute  Shocked it would have taken people years to read it if they hadn't lost interest. 

I just finished the story, I find myself echoing Amelia's feedback here. Bravo! Smiley

Very nicely done! Is Juile the future Mrs. Ford? Kiss :Smiley
  

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Claire
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Re: FDK Error Of Judgement
Reply #10 - Apr 25th, 2011 at 10:22am
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Glad you liked it Matt.  The future Mrs Ford? ... well, wait and see is all I can say right now  Cool
  
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