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FDK Error Of Judgement (Read 3351 times)

Claire Captain Offline UFO the original and best! Posts: 122 Location: South East England	FDK Error Of Judgement Apr 20^th, 2011 at 9:43am	Print Post
	Thought I would set up a thread here for any comments/brickbats/grenades/missile launchers and molly's to do with Error Of Judgement. I know Error didn't start out in the guild but went straight to library and everyone else's comments for various stories are here. And it frees up the AWOL thread That, and a certain someone made me do it


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Write Rat Major SHADO Research Offline Straker and his coffee. Posts: 356 Location: United States	Re: FDK Error Of Judgement Reply #1 - Apr 20^th, 2011 at 10:23am	Print Post
	All through reading this again (I read this years ago ) I was thinking this isn't a story, it's a screenplay. It has a real screenplay feel to it, and that's a compliment. I was pissed as hell when I realized it doesn't conclude! it keeps the readers' attention. Really nice work, really nice feel for the lead characters, nice suspense, pace, tension, conflict, a touch of humor, which I like. Ford doesn't get the attention the main characters do in the series, and this really adds more dimensions to him. I've always personally regarded Ford as an 'everyman' in the UFO universe. He's not a hero, he gets lost in all the action, he carries out his job, and that's that. Occasionally we get clearer glimpses into his personality, like in responsibility seat, where he (imo) has more sense than Straker does concerning Jo. He represents us. How we might be if we were involved in the fight against the aliens. So I very much liked this. Very believable secondary characters, too, good sense of natural dialogue. This could easily be an UFO episode. Off to take a class in the Jo Fraser School of reporting


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Librarian IAC Member Offline I may be blonde but... Posts: 658 Location: Washington (not DC)	Re: FDK Error Of Judgement Reply #2 - Apr 20^th, 2011 at 3:46pm	Print Post
	I have one question/comment (aside from echoing Amelia and Ed's comment) - Ford believes that Louise is Lauritzen's almost fiancee. Now, the explanation that Lauritzen didn't tell anyone at 'work' about her... Um, this is the 'bomb on the mantle' for the next story, right? :

	If you only have one solution to a problem - you're not trying.
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Matt Colonel Offline Everyone at SHADO drinks coffee! Posts: 2391 Location: Coventry, RI	Re: FDK Error Of Judgement Reply #3 - Apr 20^th, 2011 at 3:50pm	Print Post
	First impressions: I'm about a third of the way through Claire, and I've got to tell you I'm really enjoying the story. It's very traditional, it's like watching one of the better episodes. Good job. It took me a bit to figure out that you are using a different episode order than I do. I know that there are at least six of them and mine is slightly modified anyway. I picked up on the references to both Timelash and The Long Sleep. The characters seem to ring true, although Straker seemed a bit crabbier than normal at the start. Must have been the lack of sleep. grin I would have finished it last night but I started getting tired. I'll have more to add as I continue to read. Matt

	What do you mean, we're out of coffee!
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Claire Captain Offline UFO the original and best! Posts: 122 Location: South East England	Re: FDK Error Of Judgement Reply #4 - Apr 20^th, 2011 at 4:31pm	Print Post
	Librarian wrote on Apr 20^th, 2011 at 3:46pm: I have one question/comment (aside from echoing Amelia and Ed's comment) - Ford believes that Louise is Lauritzen's almost fiancee. Now, the explanation that Lauritzen didn't tell anyone at 'work' about her... Um, this is the 'bomb on the mantle' for the next story, right? : Erm, no. That's it as far as the Louise and John part. Repercussions deals with something else entirely depending on which way I take it. Very interesting that you picked up on that because the reader can sometimes see a scenario forming that the writer did not intend although this is why this took so long to edit (hope you've recovered) to tie up all the loose ends and get it all tidied up. I'm still tickled that you liked it (even though, like Amelia you saw it back in it's 2002 days as well).


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Claire Captain Offline UFO the original and best! Posts: 122 Location: South East England	Re: FDK Error Of Judgement Reply #5 - Apr 20^th, 2011 at 4:36pm	Print Post
	Matt wrote on Apr 20^th, 2011 at 3:50pm: First impressions: I'm about a third of the way through Claire, and I've got to tell you I'm really enjoying the story. It's very traditional, it's like watching one of the better episodes. Good job. It took me a bit to figure out that you are using a different episode order than I do. I know that there are at least six of them and mine is slightly modified anyway. I picked up on the references to both Timelash and The Long Sleep. The characters seem to ring true, although Straker seemed a bit crabbier than normal at the start. Must have been the lack of sleep. grin I would have finished it last night but I started getting tired. I'll have more to add as I continue to read. Matt That's praise indeed Matt, and you picked up on what I was trying to achieve; the 'like an episode' comment. Straker was crabbier early on because as far as he was concerned this was the second time Ford has done it, and he did have a lack of sleep too I'm really glad you're enjoying it because it's always nerve racking when it goes live and it's the first time you've sent it. I am now being pestered to get on with the sequel heh heh


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Claire Captain Offline UFO the original and best! Posts: 122 Location: South East England	Re: FDK Error Of Judgement Reply #6 - Apr 20^th, 2011 at 4:46pm	Print Post
	Write Rat wrote on Apr 20^th, 2011 at 10:23am: All through reading this again (I read this years ago ) I was thinking this isn't a story, it's a screenplay. It has a real screenplay feel to it, and that's a compliment. I was pissed as hell when I realized it doesn't conclude! it keeps the readers' attention. Really nice work, really nice feel for the lead characters, nice suspense, pace, tension, conflict, a touch of humor, which I like. Ford doesn't get the attention the main characters do in the series, and this really adds more dimensions to him. I've always personally regarded Ford as an 'everyman' in the UFO universe. He's not a hero, he gets lost in all the action, he carries out his job, and that's that. Occasionally we get clearer glimpses into his personality, like in responsibility seat, where he (imo) has more sense than Straker does concerning Jo. He represents us. How we might be if we were involved in the fight against the aliens. So I very much liked this. Very believable secondary characters, too, good sense of natural dialogue. This could easily be an UFO episode. Off to take a class in the Jo Fraser School of reporting Amelia and Ed, thanks so much for this lovely feedback, I am touched by you saying it's like a screenplay - boy, wouldn't I just LOVE to do that for a living. Sadly, no decent shows over here from the UK and I don't know enough about US places and ways to write for the US (if I were able to be a screenwriter that is). I always try to make the stories as close to the show as I can, I have to love the characters I write about because trying to write about characters I don't feel invested in doesn't work, for me anyway. I like the idea of Ford being an 'everyman' in UFO, he certainly was that, and he does represent us if we were in that position. I'm so glad you liked it, with the few tweaks and rewrites from the original back in 2002 - 9 years ago <weep> and I'm sorry you didn't like it being unfinished, it is to a certain extent but to have tried to add Repercussions into (and the third part as yet untitled) it would have meant it was an unworkable and expensive luxury ... erm sorry I was channeling Henderson there for a minute it would have taken people years to read it if they hadn't lost interest.


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Neesierie Colonel Offline Straker, somehow it's always about you. Posts: 990 Location: Fulton, MO	Re: FDK Error Of Judgement Reply #7 - Apr 21^st, 2011 at 6:19pm	Print Post
	Claire, Just finished the story. Wow! That was a lot of action for one tale to tell! Of course, I suppose if I took one of my sagas and shoved all its stories into one long string, the action might be as intense. Maybe. Anyway, very well done. I hope Keith turns out alright. When do we get the sequel? I know. I know. The fans are always screaming for more!

	The sky is not the limit; nor are the stars.
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Claire Captain Offline UFO the original and best! Posts: 122 Location: South East England	Re: FDK Error Of Judgement Reply #8 - Apr 22^nd, 2011 at 10:38am	Print Post
	Neesierie wrote on Apr 21^st, 2011 at 6:19pm: Claire, Just finished the story. Wow! That was a lot of action for one tale to tell! Of course, I suppose if I took one of my sagas and shoved all its stories into one long string, the action might be as intense. Maybe. Anyway, very well done. I hope Keith turns out alright. When do we get the sequel? I know. I know. The fans are always screaming for more! Hi Denise, Keith? well ... erm, we'll see. I am hoping to start rewriting Repercussions this weekend, don't know how long it'll be but have to get my head in gear now and get it done. Glad you liked it.


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Matt Colonel Offline Everyone at SHADO drinks coffee! Posts: 2391 Location: Coventry, RI	Re: FDK Error Of Judgement Reply #9 - Apr 24^th, 2011 at 6:33pm	Print Post
	Claire wrote on Apr 20^th, 2011 at 4:46pm: Write Rat wrote on Apr 20^th, 2011 at 10:23am: All through reading this again (I read this years ago ) I was thinking this isn't a story, it's a screenplay. It has a real screenplay feel to it, and that's a compliment. I was pissed as hell when I realized it doesn't conclude! it keeps the readers' attention. Really nice work, really nice feel for the lead characters, nice suspense, pace, tension, conflict, a touch of humor, which I like. Ford doesn't get the attention the main characters do in the series, and this really adds more dimensions to him. I've always personally regarded Ford as an 'everyman' in the UFO universe. He's not a hero, he gets lost in all the action, he carries out his job, and that's that. Occasionally we get clearer glimpses into his personality, like in responsibility seat, where he (imo) has more sense than Straker does concerning Jo. He represents us. How we might be if we were involved in the fight against the aliens. So I very much liked this. Very believable secondary characters, too, good sense of natural dialogue. This could easily be an UFO episode. Off to take a class in the Jo Fraser School of reporting Amelia and Ed, thanks so much for this lovely feedback, I am touched by you saying it's like a screenplay - boy, wouldn't I just LOVE to do that for a living. Sadly, no decent shows over here from the UK and I don't know enough about US places and ways to write for the US (if I were able to be a screenwriter that is). I always try to make the stories as close to the show as I can, I have to love the characters I write about because trying to write about characters I don't feel invested in doesn't work, for me anyway. I like the idea of Ford being an 'everyman' in UFO, he certainly was that, and he does represent us if we were in that position. I'm so glad you liked it, with the few tweaks and rewrites from the original back in 2002 - 9 years ago <weep> and I'm sorry you didn't like it being unfinished, it is to a certain extent but to have tried to add Repercussions into (and the third part as yet untitled) it would have meant it was an unworkable and expensive luxury ... erm sorry I was channeling Henderson there for a minute it would have taken people years to read it if they hadn't lost interest. I just finished the story, I find myself echoing Amelia's feedback here. Bravo! Very nicely done! Is Juile the future Mrs. Ford? :

	What do you mean, we're out of coffee!
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Claire Captain Offline UFO the original and best! Posts: 122 Location: South East England	Re: FDK Error Of Judgement Reply #10 - Apr 25^th, 2011 at 10:22am	Print Post
	Glad you liked it Matt. The future Mrs Ford? ... well, wait and see is all I can say right now


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