SHADO
Welcome, Guest. Please Login or Register

News:
Page Index Toggle Pages: [1] 2  Add Poll Send Topic
Hot Topic (More than 10 Replies) Dire Situation FDK (Read 4900 times)
Matt
Colonel
*****
Offline


Everyone at SHADO drinks
coffee!

Posts: 2391
Location: Coventry, RI
Dire Situation FDK
Mar 28th, 2011 at 2:41pm
Print Post  
Awesome start guys! Cheesy Good for Ed, standing up to Mary like that! She deserved it! Angry Smiley
  

What do you mean, we're out of coffee!
Back to top
WWW  
IP Logged
 
Librarian
IAC Member
*****
Offline


I may be blonde but...

Posts: 657
Location: Washington (not DC)
Re: Dire Situation FDK
Reply #1 - Mar 28th, 2011 at 3:13pm
Print Post  
Cute - really cute. Although D&D isn't a board game (at least not in OUR world).

I actually ran a game with a group of kids that age - blood thirsty little 'adventurers' they were too - kept killing the barkeeps to get out of paying their tab.

Until they discovered that every barkeep they ran across was either a steel dragon in disguise or brother to the sheriff - or both. Amazing how polite they got after that. :Smiley
  

If you only have one solution to a problem - you're not trying.
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Neesierie
Colonel
*****
Offline


Straker, somehow it's
always about you.

Posts: 990
Location: Fulton, MO
Re: Dire Situation FDK
Reply #2 - Mar 28th, 2011 at 3:28pm
Print Post  
I played my son's world game (the one he created) once -- as a tiny fairy.  He was completely shocked to watch his Mumsy take out a giant by poking out his eyes with my dagger!  Wink  I don't think he's gotten over it to this day.  I do know that he never asks me to play anymore.  Grin
  

The sky is not the limit; nor are the stars.
Back to top
WWW  
IP Logged
 
Librarian
IAC Member
*****
Offline


I may be blonde but...

Posts: 657
Location: Washington (not DC)
Re: Dire Situation FDK
Reply #3 - Mar 28th, 2011 at 3:37pm
Print Post  
Those little guys can be a force to be reckoned with. Never discount a pixie with a dagger and an attitude

And the kids never quite recover from discovering how ruthless Mom can be in a pinch.  Wink
  

If you only have one solution to a problem - you're not trying.
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Neesierie
Colonel
*****
Offline


Straker, somehow it's
always about you.

Posts: 990
Location: Fulton, MO
Re: Dire Situation FDK
Reply #4 - Mar 28th, 2011 at 6:50pm
Print Post  
Librarian wrote on Mar 28th, 2011 at 3:37pm:
And the kids never quite recover from discovering how ruthless Mom can be in a pinch.  Wink


*sigh*  It's all too true! (snicker)
  

The sky is not the limit; nor are the stars.
Back to top
WWW  
IP Logged
 
Librarian
IAC Member
*****
Offline


I may be blonde but...

Posts: 657
Location: Washington (not DC)
Re: Dire Situation FDK
Reply #5 - Mar 28th, 2011 at 8:28pm
Print Post  
Actually, it's a RPG - Role Playing Game. The Game Master or Dungeon Master has all the players around a table with their rule books and dice (and sometimes models) and they pretend to be their characters. The outcomes of their battles and decisions are based on the luck of the dice and the judgements of the DM.

And saying a story is cute isn't a put down. Have you any idea how hard it is for most people to write cute, warm, and fuzzy?  Angst and high drama is easy compared to warm and fuzzy. Those of us who don’t do cute at all well are green with envy.

Quote:
Better get ready, dire rat! We're coming to get you." the companion warned. The driver nodded, then squinted to take in the cavern's depths, for he was about to enter territory previously untraveled. He swiftly moved to the cavern's entrance and entered in time to hear the tinkle of a bell.

In true Sherlock Holmes style, the game was afoot.

Unlike the assured results of Sherlock Holmes' ability to crack a case, and two hours and a half later, no such success was savored. The two of them came wearily out of the glass and steel cavern with faces as long as the British winter.

"It killed us!" his companion cried, miserable.

"Yeah, that was a pretty dire situation, but then, it was only our first attempt." the driver announced. "Just remember, that doesn't mean we can't try again. This time, believe me, we'll win."

"Can we get burgers before you have to go?" his companion begged. "There's an American McDonalds over there."


It killed them but they're hungry.  Grin

  

If you only have one solution to a problem - you're not trying.
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Matt
Colonel
*****
Offline


Everyone at SHADO drinks
coffee!

Posts: 2391
Location: Coventry, RI
Re: Dire Situation FDK
Reply #6 - Mar 28th, 2011 at 9:31pm
Print Post  
Quote:
And saying a story is cute isn't a put down. Have you any idea how hard it is for most people to write cute, warm, and fuzzy?  Angst and high drama is easy compared to warm and fuzzy. Those of us who don’t do cute at all well are green with envy.


Deb is right on with that! Wink I was expecting a longer story, thinking that you were using the game as a parallel. But the story stands well, just as it is. Smiley

Amelia, I agree with your take on Mary and Rutland, I never thought that she was happy with him. Right after John got hit by the car, Mary didn't turn to her husband to do something, she turned to Ed. To me, That was telling. Shocked

Granted, it's all subjective, but that's how I saw it. Wink

  

What do you mean, we're out of coffee!
Back to top
WWW  
IP Logged
 
Matt
Colonel
*****
Offline


Everyone at SHADO drinks
coffee!

Posts: 2391
Location: Coventry, RI
Re: Dire Situation FDK
Reply #7 - Mar 28th, 2011 at 10:38pm
Print Post  
Neesierie wrote on Mar 28th, 2011 at 6:50pm:
Librarian wrote on Mar 28th, 2011 at 3:37pm:
And the kids never quite recover from discovering how ruthless Mom can be in a pinch.  Wink


*sigh*  It's all too true! (snicker)

You both have got that right! My mother was a killer! Shocked Cheesy
  

What do you mean, we're out of coffee!
Back to top
WWW  
IP Logged
 
Write Rat
Major
SHADO Research
****
Offline


Straker and his coffee.

Posts: 356
Location: United States
Re: Dire Situation FDK
Reply #8 - Mar 28th, 2011 at 11:26pm
Print Post  
And saying a story is cute isn't a put down. Have you any idea how hard it is for most people to write cute, warm, and fuzzy?  Angst and high drama is easy compared to warm and fuzzy. Those of us who don’t do cute at all well are green with envy.

Quote:
Better get ready, dire rat! We're coming to get you." the companion warned. The driver nodded, then squinted to take in the cavern's depths, for he was about to enter territory previously untraveled. He swiftly moved to the cavern's entrance and entered in time to hear the tinkle of a bell.

In true Sherlock Holmes style, the game was afoot.

Unlike the assured results of Sherlock Holmes' ability to crack a case, and two hours and a half later, no such success was savored. The two of them came wearily out of the glass and steel cavern with faces as long as the British winter.

"It killed us!" his companion cried, miserable.

"Yeah, that was a pretty dire situation, but then, it was only our first attempt." the driver announced. "Just remember, that doesn't mean we can't try again. This time, believe me, we'll win."

[quote]"Can we get burgers before you have to go?" his companion begged. "There's an American McDonalds over there."


Quote:
It killed them but they're hungry.  Grin


Dying with a bite wound full of poison always was good for the appetite.
  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Librarian
IAC Member
*****
Offline


I may be blonde but...

Posts: 657
Location: Washington (not DC)
Re: Dire Situation FDK
Reply #9 - Mar 28th, 2011 at 11:31pm
Print Post  
There are a few comments (aside from cute) I'll make. I did get a touch confused in places as to whose 'voice' the story was in.

Quote:
His eyes in the shifting light were a long forgotten language, and as he swept his athlete's body into the hired Jaguar without effort, so did his accompanying air of electric anger. Anger at two people who had told him what not to do. Already shrouded and belted into the artificial warmth of the automobile, his wan male companion watched him in an active silence. Even as long as he had known the man who claimed the driver's seat as if he was no more than one of the myriad metals that were part of the car, he never was jaded from his careful study. Jaded was not his word. He had heard the driver say it once, and patiently asked what it meant, and was patiently told. That was a long time ago, during terrible days he preferred to forget. The  driver's moods made mercury seem dull and without purpose. He admired this man so much, a man who put the silver and onyx Jaguar through its paces as if he was a predator in search of a living meal, moving it swiftly out of the grand chaos that was London. A man with a body as sinuous as a snake. He watched him in silence. He watched him in awe. He had always watched him with love.


This is Johnny, but I doubt Johnny would see his father as being 'sinuous as a snake' unless he overheard someone using that phrase. Even 'mercurial' is a bit adult for Johnny's POV.

Quote:
Jaded was not his word. He had heard the driver say it once, and patiently asked what it meant, and was patiently told.


THIS feels exactly on - A word he's heard used and likes the feel of.

But definitely save those descriptions - they sound exactly what some of the women down in HQ would use to describe Straker.
  

If you only have one solution to a problem - you're not trying.
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Neesierie
Colonel
*****
Offline


Straker, somehow it's
always about you.

Posts: 990
Location: Fulton, MO
Re: Dire Situation FDK
Reply #10 - Mar 28th, 2011 at 11:45pm
Print Post  
I agree.  Lots of great phrases in this short short.  It reads almost like a poem in certain places.
  

The sky is not the limit; nor are the stars.
Back to top
WWW  
IP Logged
 
Librarian
IAC Member
*****
Offline


I may be blonde but...

Posts: 657
Location: Washington (not DC)
Re: Dire Situation FDK
Reply #11 - Mar 29th, 2011 at 12:07am
Print Post  
Listen to the woman.
  

If you only have one solution to a problem - you're not trying.
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Write Rat
Major
SHADO Research
****
Offline


Straker and his coffee.

Posts: 356
Location: United States
Re: Dire Situation FDK
Reply #12 - Mar 29th, 2011 at 12:10am
Print Post  
Quote:
I was expecting a longer story, thinking that you were using the game as a parallel. But the story stands well, just as it is. Smiley

The assignment called for a short story. Normally I'd explore the issue further. Yeah, the game was parallel and a 'dire situation' the literary theme. Straker says :

Quote:
Some things in life are not to be tolerated. This is one of them. I've given more enough to them. I've sacrificed. That stops, stops now, stops tonight. Precious moments, like a string of pearls. A duel, to the death. A triumph to be seized. Some humans have incisors too. Tonight, he thought in amusement at his own melodrama, tonight I  bite, tonight I taste blood.


Straker's talking about the divorce, he gave more than enough to her, sacrificed, but tonight he decides to fight back, by deliberately refusing to go along with the Rutlands when it comes down to the comfort of his own son, who is upset by the stepfather appearing in his life, and being told he can't play a game which all his school pals are playing.
Normally I don't go into explanation or what I do in a piece, but I'm trying it out now. Shocked So with that, about Mary making a mistake, oh YEAH.
You can see it in Priority. So I made this for soon after she remarried, and she's using Rutland and her son as pawns in a game with Straker. Fail. Straker here is barely concealing his temper to begin with, then she gets even more stupid by threatening to take the visitations away, "I have Phillip" suggesting that Straker can't lord over her now that she has a new guy in her life. Fail. He goes commando on her. He doesn't specify what he'd do to her, but we all know Straker's wrath, and imagination is a powerful thing.  Wink

Quote:
Amelia, I agree with your take on Mary and Rutland, I never thought that she was happy with him. Right after John got hit by the car, Mary didn't turn to her husband to do something, she turned to Ed. To me, That was telling. Shocked

Oh yeah,Matt, Denise. I saw it too. Plus Rutland just stood there. What I found even more telling was the scene in the hospital, where he tells Mary something like "We'll see to the boy." I used that revealing omission in one of my stories, don't recall which one. It told me Rutland had no real feelings for Johnny. Fine, it wasn't his real son, but he could have at least used his name. He didn't. I think he may have resented that Johnny was Mary's last bond to Straker in spite of the marriage, and Straker not only is military but strikingly handsome, two well-deserved barbs under Rutland's skin. Straker wouldn't buy into Rutland's crap, the man-to-man, alpha male nonsense. He's far too intelligent for manipulation, but as Matt pointed out, he's human, and gets in some insults directed at Mary and Rutland, intellect capacity of dung  (that was my husband's idea, I loved it  Grin)  It isn't until Mary threatened to take away visitation that Straker explodes, both verbally and by disregard for her personal space, which is a damn powerful thing to use in an argument. Straker would know how to fight strategically in that manner, and saying she'd take his beloved son away was the last straw.

Knowing how to fight to win, know thy enemy that was why Straker knew all about the dire rat's stats. It's possible he interrogated the store owner and bought a book, or maybe he went to a certain website like I did.  Wink There's a store in Berkeley (they run RPG's there too, Deborah) which was my model for the Forbidden Cavern

My husband just said Straker's play would be deadly serious. Even in a RPG, he'd need to win, and he'd brief himself on dire rat slaughter. (Not that it was an advantage, a lucky dice roll would be an advantage, with the DM's approval) So being killed off REALLY sucked for the Commander.

There's always empty calories at McDonalds to lift your spirits, Commander Straker.  Grin


  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Write Rat
Major
SHADO Research
****
Offline


Straker and his coffee.

Posts: 356
Location: United States
Re: Dire Situation FDK
Reply #13 - Mar 29th, 2011 at 12:15am
Print Post  
okay I got Denise mixed up with Matt. I thought I was addressing Denise.  Sad


They look alike.  Tongue (runs away)
and Deborah, I listened to the woman. Smiley
  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Matt
Colonel
*****
Offline


Everyone at SHADO drinks
coffee!

Posts: 2391
Location: Coventry, RI
Re: Dire Situation FDK
Reply #14 - Mar 29th, 2011 at 2:06am
Print Post  
Quote:
What I found even more telling was the scene in the hospital, where he tells Mary something like "We'll see to the boy."

I remember that line well. It was telling. There are quite a few different opinions out there, concerning this episode, and no two seen to be exactly alike. Wink As part of my Soul Mates Saga, I wrote a companion story to this episode, that put Colonel Lake as the person who was delivering the drug from the states. In my story, Virginia witnessed the scene where Johnny has died and Mary tell's Ed the infamous line, "I never want to see you again!" I kept Ginny out of sight to keep in line with the episode. Come to think of it, Rutland looked smug (to me) when Mary turned back to say her final words to Ed. Angry I said this once before, but it took every bit of displine I had to not break canon and let Ginny at her! Cheesy Boy did she want too! Shocked Grin
  

What do you mean, we're out of coffee!
Back to top
WWW  
IP Logged
 
Page Index Toggle Pages: [1] 2 
Add Poll Send Topic
Bookmarks: del.icio.us Digg Facebook Google Google+ LinkedIn reddit StumbleUpon Twitter Yahoo