I've said before my husband Edward and I are on a two week holiday visiting Nans, and we're all staying at a hotel. When we all got to the hotel after an eight, nine hour drive, my husband noticed the restaurant next to the hotel. He started teasingly suggesting he go there. The restaurant? Hooters. (and I don't mean owls, do a google search, adult content)

Yesterday he was waiting for an important phone call, we were all happily at a park with a duck pond, feeding our faces with Taco Bell fresco tacos at the picnic table. After the call he didn't feel too well, gut acting up so I gave him his pain med, told him to just sit, relax and breath deeply to get through the pain. Relax? Not my husband. He was watching geese (we had fed them earlier with no problem and no geese hostility) chase a lady. So after she left, my husband got up and went over to the geese to see if they'd do it to him. He's walking with them  and talking with them like he's the goose whisperer, suddenly one turns around and quacks and honks menacingly at Ed. Ed bends over, and Nans and I hear Ed tell the goose 'What's your problem?"  The goose looks strangely at this arrogant human he can't intimidate, and rushes off with the other geese, no doubt swearing in goose speak. So my husband is now officially the goose whisperer.  Both of us love wildlife. Ed's always loved birds and nature, and shows no fear in their presence, which he theorized was the reason why it could chase the woman, who clearly was scared as hell. 
My husband also plays head games with squirrels. He hands the nuts to them, he doesn't always toss them. Once he held one out, and when the poor squirrel grabbed it, Ed didn't let it go. (Meanwhile I'm picturing my husband being eaten by the squirrel.) So what happens? The squirrel put its paw over Ed's hand for a better grip, pulled it (when Ed let it go) and ran off with it! It was darling, chuckle. I tried it too, they have soft tiny paws. Of course, all the wildlife books tell you NOT to do that. What can I say? Ed, Nans and myself are all quackers.    Has anyone else had a close encounter of the winged or fuzzy kind to share? Ed and Nans and I believe in making the guild as fun as possible. Until the Librarian whacks us for misconduct.

edited for that $*&^%^@$%^^& a-an mistake!!!

Squirrels are a blast!  We used to have one that lived in the tree in our front yard.  I called him Charlie and used to feed him crackers whenever I sat outside on the steps and ate them for a snack.  One day I gave him a cracker with peanut butter on it -- and that did it!  Forever after that, he would no longer accept a cracker unless it had PB on it!    True Story.

The research Establishment where I used to work is situated in the remains of woodland. There is a thriving squirrel population.
On one occasion, one of the engineers left his office window open whilst he went for his lunchtime run.
He came back to find that his lunchtime sandwiches had mysteriously disappeared
He immediately stormed into the Registry, where my wife worked, demanding to know who had stolen his sandwiches.

A search revealed the remains of the sandwiches, scattered on the grass outside the office window.
It would seem that a squirrel had climbed through the window, sampled the sanswiches then decided that it didn't like them after all

Squirrel = Tree Rat. My wife has bird feeders and she is always complaining about the squirrels getting to her bird seed. So I find myself in the middle of a squirrel war every summer. > If we didn't live in a residential neighborhood, I'd be making squirrel stew and selling squirrel skin coats. (only kidding)

But in all seriousness a good woodsman wastes nothing and I would never hunt for sport.

Too many houses close by here. We only have 4700 sq feet of land. I did consider it, but being raised around guns, I always think about safety first.

BTW my mother could out shoot all but two of the cops on the local police force.

Ok Librarian, I need a photo of "the BIGGEST gray squirrel" aka Squirrelzilla 

Way too funny!

MkIXHawk wrote on Mar 27^th, 2011 at 5:23pm:

It's the first item on the menu at the Roadkill Cafe.