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Librarian
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FDK - The Visitor
Apr 21st, 2012 at 2:33am
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Some people insist that Straker was a full colonel at 26 - despite the fact that the USAF doesn't work that way in the real world. So I came up with a scenario while pulling out bushes in the back yard.  :Smiley
« Last Edit: Apr 21st, 2012 at 10:48pm by Librarian »  

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Matt
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Re: FDK - The Visitor
Reply #1 - Apr 22nd, 2012 at 2:54pm
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Oooo! Straker as the spawn of Satan? That might give him an edge. It wouldn't be the first time that a head of state has made a deal with the Devil. Smiley
  

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Librarian
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Re: FDK - The Visitor
Reply #2 - Apr 22nd, 2012 at 3:23pm
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I was pulling out bushes in the back yard when this story finally jelled - even though the visitor still hasn't announced himself. 'He' could be Mephistopheles, or 'he' could be another type of alien.

I figured the only way some people's scenarios would work out (the ones where Straker is a full bird at all of 26 and more military flight-time than a man twice his age when the Rolls is attacked) would be if someone very powerful had a vested interest in getting Straker in place to take over when Henderson was injured. Of course, this would require foreknowledge of Henderson's future situation as well as foreknowledge of SHADO itself, not to mention the fact that really was an alien threat - something very few people were aware of.  Shocked
  

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Neesierie
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Re: FDK - The Visitor
Reply #3 - Apr 23rd, 2012 at 8:00pm
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In other words, someone omniscient or someone from the future where these events had already played out.  Very cool idea, Deb!
BTW, what tweaking does it need?  It reads wonderfully to me!  Smiley
  

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Librarian
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Re: FDK - The Visitor
Reply #4 - Apr 23rd, 2012 at 8:49pm
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If not omniscient then VERY smart and powerful.

Not sure if this is going to be a one-shot or a series of vignettes.

And somebody elsewhere pointed out that the president seemed to accept the visitor's 'alienness' a little too easily, so I may add something to address that - like maybe the president had dealings with the visitor before...  Shocked
  

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Matt
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Re: FDK - The Visitor
Reply #5 - Apr 23rd, 2012 at 9:57pm
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I think you already addressed it, Deb. With this line;

Quote:
The man at the oak desk peered through the darkness at his uninvited visitor. The man wanted to call his security detail but knew that to do so would mean their deaths and possibly his own. So he sat and listened.


Very powerful! We can see that the President already knows that he is dealing with a "unearthly force" by his reluctance to call for help. And for the visitor to have made it into the President's inner sanctum without being seen adds to the sense of danger. How the President knows, or how the visitor got there is left to the imagination of the reader. I think it's fine the way it is.

Just my ten cents. Smiley
  

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Neesierie
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Straker, somehow it's
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Re: FDK - The Visitor
Reply #6 - Apr 23rd, 2012 at 9:58pm
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As a major politician, the president would probably already know the devil.  Wink

But what if it was another bat-winged fanged creature?  Dracula's been around so long he's nearly omniscient.  Who's to say?  It's not as if he mentioned his name or anything.  Grin

LOVE the idea of vignettes!
  

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Matt
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Re: FDK - The Visitor
Reply #7 - Apr 23rd, 2012 at 10:01pm
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Neesierie wrote on Apr 23rd, 2012 at 9:58pm:
As a major politician, the president would probably already know the devil.  Wink

But what if it was another bat-winged fanged creature?  Dracula's been around so long he's nearly omniscient.  Who's to say?  It's not as if he mentioned his name or anything.  Grin


Ol' Dracky would have been my other guess. *grin* It wouldn't be the first time he has played in the UFOverse. Grin
  

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Neesierie
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Straker, somehow it's
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Re: FDK - The Visitor
Reply #8 - Apr 23rd, 2012 at 10:14pm
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Aren't you the funny one!  Yes, it was sooo much fun pitting Straker against him!  Grin 
But to be his SON!   Shocked  Wow!  (Anyone for joining Edward's team?)  Smiley
  

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