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Normal Topic FDK Lines Of Communication; Denise (Read 1853 times)
Lightcudder
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FDK Lines Of Communication; Denise
Jun 9th, 2010 at 7:01am
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This is truly incredible Denise. A lovely ending to the Devilsgate story, and as always, beautifully written. i love the way you expressed how Ed missed Alec, but was so happy in his new life, and to end the story with him putting the letter with others that he had written to Alec.
I am glad I was alone at work when I read it, with my classroom door locked. A real tear-jerker.I would like to see it added to the end of the Saga at some stage.  Kiss

  

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Re: FDK Lines Of Communication; Denise
Reply #1 - Jun 9th, 2010 at 8:13am
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Okay. A more thought -out review here.  No smilies etc.. this is serious!

The older man sat at his desk......... lovely start, the feather bed, the quill pen, lone candle. Speaking to another time and place.. and I can tell immediately  that is going to be a tear-jerker. Dare I read on?

It's so sad that Ed still misses Alec,but he goes on to talk about his wife and playing with her and their childre.. as if the old Ed in Shado would ever have been able to do that. And we see that he has changed, has settled, is happy, even though he misses ALec's grin.
 
A houseful of children; another reminder that this is a different Ed, relaxed, happy, content. Life has been good to him, here. And as he thinks back over the years at HQ, the sad times, we see again how happy he is, how much joy his life contains. A wife; irresistible, baby daighters, young sons; and to have found peace at last.... lovely.

I like the way he is still thinking about Shado, and Jake, and Keith. But it is no longer the focus of his life. he has other things to keep him busy now..a son who is ten.. loved the reference to John,and Ed's reference to calling his son Alec.

It's sad that he acknowledges that Alec will never read the letters, (but you never know...! I have my own private thought that Alec will get the letters one day!) and I'm glad he mentions the painting.
Lovely that he mentions the aliens and how he is still battling them, and teaching his family to fight them.. a new generation of Straker's in the fight!

And the final paragraph.. a father again.. 'Happy with the fate that time has brought me.'     perfect.

As is the dedication at the end.

Ever your friend

A gloriously triumphant letter.
Thankyou.
Louise
  

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Neesierie
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Re: FDK Lines Of Communication; Denise
Reply #2 - Jun 9th, 2010 at 10:48am
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Louise,
Thanks for the lovely review!  I thoroughly enjoyed writing this small epilogue to the saga.  I felt so much as I wrote it: about his past, his present, and his future (thinking about those grandkids!)  I didn't cry -- until I was reading it to my beta tester!  Then it really got to me, to hear the words out loud.  I thought the occasion of his own Alec's 10th birthday would be a good time for him to write to his best friend.  And I wanted the reader to know that his first son was never forgotten. 
My beta tester was furious with me that I didn't end the story with Alec somehow receiving the letter.  And I had intended when I began to have that kind of an ending.  But once I got there, I found that it wasn't necessary.  In fact, it would have lessened the story somehow and taken the focus off of the innermost thoughts of The Man.  So instead I had him put the letter with others he'd written his friend.  That seemed much more fitting.  Especially since nothing new is really introduced in this story.  It merely cements the changes in him that we have already glimpsed indirectly through the rest of the saga.
I'm not sure how to label this addendum with the saga.  It doesn't really fit to call it #6, since it's not story length.  Got any ideas?

Denise
  
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Re: FDK Lines Of Communication; Denise
Reply #3 - Jun 9th, 2010 at 10:54am
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I think I'd like to see it almost as a 'non-chapter/epilogue.
 
just put  on the end for the reader to find .. as hopefully Alec does!

No title, no message.

It doesn't really need any thing else to be said. Wink
  

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Re: FDK Lines Of Communication; Denise
Reply #4 - Jun 9th, 2010 at 1:14pm
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That was truly touching! It brought me to tears, and that's not easy to do. Cry

Great Job Denise! Bravo! Smiley
  

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Neesierie
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Re: FDK Lines Of Communication; Denise
Reply #5 - Jun 11th, 2010 at 2:49am
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I just added the last two episodes of the Devilsgate Saga to my website.  (Although the 6th story isn't really story length, I still included it under its own name and number.)  Oh, and Matt, I changed the title to fit with the rest of the saga.
Louise, I used that wonderful painting I found online of Strawberry Hill for the 6th story pic on my site.  It turned out great.  Looking through the pics for this saga, I find that I used Ginny a lot.  But unfortunately, I don't have a pic of Jake!
I'll get them up on fanfiction soon.  Thanks for the lovely feedback as I've been writing these!  I bloom with encouragement.   Smiley
  
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