UFO - The Battle Continues
Based on the ITC Century 21 series 'UFO'
© ITC 1999
TARGET REACQUIRED Interlude 2
by Jeff Stone
THE SUN AND SPORT WEEKLY
Published in the UK October 11, 1980
[Obviously doctored photograph of Elvis Presley shaking hands with bug-eyed extraterrestrial]
THE KING IS ALIVE AND WELL AND BODY-SNATCHING WITH SPACE ALIENS!!!!
As regular readers of your friendly Sun and Sport Weekly will know well, Elvis Presley did not die in August 1977. But until now, only a select few have known what the immortal rock legend is and was up to during his self-imposed exile. Now the truth is known...Elvis has been helping aliens to steal human bodies!
This paper was recently contacted hy a man identifying himself as 'John Rutland', who claims to have worked on a super-secret UFO investigation project (based right here in Britain) code-named PENUMBRA. Rutland supplied documents which prove the following startling facts!
- Elvis was abducted from his Graceland mansion on the night of his supposed 'death' and whisked away to the aliens' secret base on the dark side of the Moon. A brilliantly realistic genetic clone body of Presley was left in his place...this was the 'dead Elvis' found in the Graceland bathroom!
- Presley was then brain-washed by the space invaders into helping them in their malevolent plan...to steal the bodies of the recently dead and harvest their organs! The reason? The aliens' species is dying out and only the enzymes found in human organs can keep them alive!!
- Why Elvis? The documents supplied by John Rutland state that the aliens use a system of communication very similar to the tones and forms of rock n' roll. As that art form's most famous exponent, Presley was the obvious choice for a human mind-slave!!
- The space creatures hail from the star cluster Coma Berenices and breathe a special oxygenated liquid during interplanetary travel. Their pyramid-shaped spacecraft are responsible for well over 80% of world-wide 'flying saucer' sightings. Rutland tells us that, contrary to the popular depiction of extraterrestrials in movies and TV, these beings (quote) "look just like us" (unquote). The only differences are, apparently, greenish-tinged skin, undeveloped musculature and hard shells over the corneas of the eyes.
- PENUMBRA, and its American counterpart MAJESTIC-14, discovered the foul alien plot...and the Elvis connection...in the late 70s and have worked to foil it ever since. However, the need to maintain utmost secrecy and prevent mass panic has meant that a wall of denial and obfuscation has been erected around the whole topic of alien visitors. "Most of the trick," Rutland stated, "involves making the truth seem ridiculous...or even vice versa." Rutland says that PENUMBRA's current plan of action is to rescue Presley from his Moon prison and 'deprogram' him. "After that is done, I'm sure he'll be able to go singing all those golden hits," Rutland assured us.
Will this web of lies ever be shattered? Are these documents, and the testimony of the enigmatic John Rutland, final proof that 'we are not alone'? Only time will tell, and you can bet your bottom pound that The Sun And Sport Weekly will follow this story to the bitter end!!
On Page 2:
Buddy Holly Involvement in Alien Plot Uncertain
Page 3: Our Super-Sexy Space Sweetie Of The Week!!
The Works of Jeff Stone
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