Why? Be careful Matt... very very careful...... moderator here!!!

(Louise quickly deletes Matts entire stash of stories and then runs and hides!)

My beta tester hasn't had a chance to approve it yet, but I certainly like it much better!  See what you think.  Chapter 7 has been deleted and replaced.

And I'm a much happier camper! 

Hi Denise,

I'd planned on writing a short review on Face Up, but upon reading your first version of chapter 7 I did a raincheck and decided against. I didn't want to come over as trashing what you write, but I have this thing with truthfulness and I couldn't have given that ending good marks.

So, now you have made it easier for me, by rewriting the end, which is now much more plausible!

Soooo.... 

I like your protagonist, especially whenever she's interacting with someone else but Straker. Then Cait has pluck, mettle and is actually funny and gritty. Quite some potential there and I think it might be interesting to see more of her in future stories. That scene with Jackson was real fun to read, especially as Jackson also comes over as way more human than usually.

I'd love to see Cait less of a puddle at Strakers feet in the scenes with Straker though 

I like some of the rather visual and tactile ideas in the story, like the treasures, the sort of items both of them gather as keepsakes, Jackson's spoon, Shannon's T-shirt for Straker.

I have my biggest problems with Straker himself, especially in the first version of the ending. He's quite simply too perfect, too sweet, that's better now insofar that he suggests she can go, if she wants that, almost again making a complete disaster out of his private life (as he did repeatedly in the series itself).

That discussion in the revised version works better. I probably would have preferred it drawn out into 2 or 3 chapters, possibly with Cait actually leaving him standing to reason it out with herself on her own. But any which way - this new ending is miles better than the first one now!

Lastly, I see lots of potential for further stories, especially with Shannon and of course with Cait's abilities (which I think are a nice turn of plot, given that she is from Scotland).

All in all, I'd say not your strongest writing regarding plot and plausability, but firmly in the upper third. 

Denise, I really like to rewrite of the last chapter. The first one wasn't bad, but this version really knocked it out of the park! Home Run!

I'm looking forward to Shannon finding out about her Dad!

Oh boy, Paul is getting the axe. This I've got to see.

My tuppeny worth here...

I absolutely  LOVED Face Off. Absolutely LOVED it.. such a different story, so compelling and so good to see a totally different Straker.

I LOved About Face as well, a natural progrression from Face Off, but gentler, and  with Straker more in control. really enjoyed the intrigue of why the aliens were going for Loch Mhor.

Face Up... another very good story. I really really liked the explanation of why the aliens were targeting Loch Mhor.. something very different.. not after a human, but trying to rescue one of their own . That was a brilliant concept. But I think the story was really improved by the changed final chapter.. Cait proving that she is not a push over and Straker realising that he couold lose everything and yet being willling to do so.

A full circle to Face Off really.. Straker realising that  he has lost everything and losing control, and in Face Up, the same, losing everything, but this time, keeping control, keeping his emotions under wraps.

Love it, Love them all.

Interpol series next???   or combine Glitch and the September Challenge?? Hmmmm... there's an idea!