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Very Hot Topic (More than 25 Replies) FDK Kid's Stuff (Read 7762 times)
Matt
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FDK Kid's Stuff
Jun 12th, 2010 at 2:51pm
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How do you do that? You know I'm hooked like a trout on a flyrod! Wink

Great start! Smiley
  

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Lightcudder
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Re: FDK Kid's Stuff
Reply #1 - Jun 12th, 2010 at 2:52pm
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Drat... I had actually thought of doing a story about John!!!!   This is great!
Is he dreaming...Nah... what is going on!! Shocked
  

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dragon
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Re: FDK Kid's Stuff
Reply #2 - Jun 13th, 2010 at 2:54am
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Oh, my. This is going to be difficult ...
  
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Matt
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Re: FDK Kid's Stuff
Reply #3 - Jun 13th, 2010 at 2:56am
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I'm liking this, and who is in Ginny's past? Inquiring minds want to know!  Smiley
  

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Neesierie
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Re: FDK Kid's Stuff
Reply #4 - Jun 13th, 2010 at 3:41am
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Did you notice that you're in this story?  Hope you don't mind!  Wink  I thought you might get a kick out of it.  If you object, I'll change it of course.  I'm adaptable.  But Straker counts on your help, so you may want to stick around.  Wink
  
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Matt
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Re: FDK Kid's Stuff
Reply #5 - Jun 13th, 2010 at 3:47am
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I just read that part, leave me in there by all means! Smiley And Ginny with her little baby, how sweet! (Matt wipes a tear away) Cry

Good job! Smiley
  

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Lightcudder
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Re: FDK Kid's Stuff
Reply #6 - Jun 13th, 2010 at 3:04pm
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Wonderful story as always Denise. Glad it 's not just children who have died.. that would have been too sad..
But I love the way Ed is coping.I don't think  I would have managed as well as he is doing.   

And Ginny .. beautiful Cry
Looking forward to reading more... as always! Smiley
  

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Matt
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Re: FDK Kid's Stuff
Reply #7 - Jun 13th, 2010 at 10:53pm
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Just read the next part, leave it to the greenies to spoil a party. Wink

I forgot to mention, Ed's comment to Ginny in the last part was very sweet! Smiley
  

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Neesierie
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Re: FDK Kid's Stuff
Reply #8 - Jun 14th, 2010 at 12:07am
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Yeah.  He sounds mellower all of a sudden, doesn't he?  But then, I guess getting to see your dead son again could do that to you!  (At least, I think it would.  If it didn't, maybe there would be something wrong with you!)  Cool
  
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Lightcudder
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Re: FDK Kid's Stuff
Reply #9 - Jun 14th, 2010 at 7:48am
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Kids Stuff
1.
I thought Ed was dreaming at the beginning, as he did, and you kept us thinking that until  - was abruptly awake -
He knows that it wouldn't be his son, but stillwants to treat himself to the pleasure of spending time with John, instead of doing as he should and calling security... not very sensible Ed, but we'll forgive you!.
And then the  mystery continues with Ford's call!

2
A lovely scene with children in the Control room... are the children in 'control'? Is that the aim of this? to have the children affect the staff so much that they can no longer operate effectively? Will Ed be able to cope with losing John again? will he have to make another life-or-death decision about the  children?

3
Virginia... that was so sad and Ed's reaction was perfect.  Cry
and White's 'the small of them reminds me of my daughter' ( the crayons) absolutely spot on. there are so many smells thatremind me of when my children were little (Infacare babybath for one!) and wax crayons have a unique smell of their own.
And then there is the revelation that these are lost children. but they have been found - will they have to lose them again?
This is going to be sad..... Undecided
Straker felt bereft.... - but he knows that it is not his son.. How can you stay so calm Ed!! and he has a responsibility to the base.. Question of Priorities again??  Getting worried here!

4
Lunch in the cafeteria.... I can imagine it!! Grin
But duty calls.....
The art of the bluff... I wouldn't want Jackson involved in this either! Angry
'These few hours may be all we'll get'     I love the way Ed has accepted this. (although I hate the phrase 'quality time'.. I think he might have just said 'time'... all time spent with these children will be precious)
I really can't see this ending happily....... Huh

But I'm desperate to read the next part!
  

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Neesierie
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Re: FDK Kid's Stuff
Reply #10 - Jun 14th, 2010 at 7:51am
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Your wish is my command.  The next chapter is up!  Cool
  
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Lightcudder
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Re: FDK Kid's Stuff
Reply #11 - Jun 14th, 2010 at 8:24am
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I know. ! Smiley
Chapter 3

'The gifts from the past' this is the first hint that they are more than just illusion, that there may be something good about all this. Ayshea;'My mind doesbn't really have much of a chance to express its concerns, because my heart is so happy... wonderful Smiley
and the thought that any price was worth these hours...

The chess game;  lovely, but with a further hint that all is not as it seems. and maybe there is going to be a happy ending after all!
'Wouldn't that be a better example of my being the best?'  On my... where is this leading?

I love the confrontation with Henderson and Straker's continued bluff. He has changed his mind from the beginning of the story, duty no longer calls. and he accepts that security will be coming, in the morning.
Then the question of what those who set this scenario up, wanted?
I love the thought of him watching his son sleeping.
ANd Virginia's comment; 'I never got chance to say good bye to her before.' Hmmm ........thinking here now!  Wink

ANd we end with Straker doing everything possible to protect them, surrounded by his staff
(Ayshea.... holding his hand  Cry)

And they stood there, protecting the children.... Shocked

Fabulous
  

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Neesierie
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Re: FDK Kid's Stuff
Reply #12 - Jun 14th, 2010 at 12:55pm
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So glad you're liking it!  This story soooo went places I never thought it would go!   Shocked  At times, it was like it was writing itself!  And it certainly didn't have the ending I had planned!!!  Oh, my!  Shocked  I'll put up more later today when I have time.  Thanks for reading!  Grin
  
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Matt
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Re: FDK Kid's Stuff
Reply #13 - Jun 14th, 2010 at 1:02pm
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This is outstanding Denise, once again I find myself on the edge of my seat! Smiley

Oh by the way, I'm taking vicious notes on Ginny being a Mom for use later! Wink

  

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Neesierie
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Re: FDK Kid's Stuff
Reply #14 - Jun 14th, 2010 at 1:15pm
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Matt,
It was so fun to write her that way!  I liked her much better when she had Shanna in her arms!  Wink
  
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