By Amelia L. Rodgers
©2005 all rights reserved
(sequel to Broken and has material from my other stories including Inner Child)
The news that Ed had returned changed a cold November day back to spring all over the Silk Wood Manor property within seconds of Claire's green Volvo pulling into the driveway. It was Miriam Freeman that reacted first, as she ran straight into Alec's arms, and he laughed delightedly and lifted her off her feet, then the two of them started kissing hard. Evan saw Russell and Russell's face just brightened, and the two men hugged, grasping at one another to make sure the other was real, talking to one another at the speed of light. Ian was in tears as he held little Alec, Molly was barking happily at anything that moved, and amazingly, the rabbits were hopping around near Molly, enjoying a brief exploration of the garden.
"What the devil?" a tired Ed began to say, watching the former mortal enemies circle around one another.
"It's always a day for miracles when my husband comes home." Claire smiled.
"Where's Perry?" Alec asked.
"He went away for a while. Should be back by the end of the week." Ian said.
"I won't even ask what happened, or where you've been, Q-Tip. I'm just glad to see you back where you belong."
"Thanks, Angel. Angel, what's wrong?"
Angel opened his mouth, as he fingered a wooden cross he wore, but no sound came out. He turned halfway, and Millicent Nichols was unexpectedly there, in a wrinkled blue pants suit. looking like she'd forgotten what sleep was. What joy had been in her eyes at seeing him alive faded fast. Her expression went right into Ed's throat like a shard of glass, and he, too, found no words.
None were needed.
His daughter.
"It's Anne, isn't it?" Claire said for him, holding her body stiffly. She had been clutching Ed's hand. She looked at him nervously. If you hit it long and hard enough, even marble cracks. It didn't matter the quality of the marble, or how rare and valuable it was. And she was watching her husband crack, she thought.
"Ed, you've been away a long time. There are concerns. You know what I'm talking about." Millicent said.
"Yes. Evan, go inside, I take it you two know one another?" Ed said, looking at Russell, trying to remember him. Already some of his memory was fading, as he'd expected.
"Q-Tip, Haversham quit, and this man has been in charge of security. Doing a good job too. Keeping the police and press away for the most part. You've been away almost a month and a half."
"Time is different in the Between, Angel." Ed said.
"Yeah." Alec said. 'Ed, that's the guy I told you about that works for your Dad. Russell Crane. He's on the level."
"Look, they had something of an emergency, so I helped out-" Russell began. 'I usually work for Mr. E., I've been going nuts with him gone."
"Sir, I did it, Haversham got frustrated and left, the studio handled it."
Ed understood that Ian meant Shado had given Haversham the amnesia drug by his mentioning the studio.
"I didn't know what else to do in such short a time, and he's been great." Ian explained further. 'I take full responsibility for it."
"I trust your instincts. It's fine. Take Evan and Mr. Crane inside, give Evan something to eat and drink. Millicent, we need to have a little talk. In private."
"Q-Tip. I'm so sorry." Angel was saying. Ed gave him a hopeless look, then nodded.
"When most of them were out of hearing range, Ed looked at Millicent. Alec came up beside Ed as if to guard him from a blow, Miriam behind him. Claire held his hand.
"Is my daughter dead?" he asked listlessly.
"Ed, I was saying that-"
"Damn you, Nichols, is she dead? Give it to me straight."
"No. No."
Ed couldn't help it, he sagged, nearly passing out, and both Claire and Alec had to grab him to prevent him from falling. They led him between them to the bench.
"What's happened?" Claire blessed the physician in her that gave her the capacity to speak again to Millie for him, trying to shield him from more bad news any way she knew how.
"You know Anne suffered a serious mental trauma, seeing her mother gutted, her organs taken by the aliens. I told you there were indications the trauma would be permanent. The adoption was the best thing for her, provided her with some security. When you disappeared again, her state of anxiety grew worse and worse. She's entered a fugue state, Ed. I don't know that we'll ever get her to come back to us. I briefly hospitalized her, I had no choice, she wasn't eating or drinking. Angel persuaded me to bring her back home for more treatment, he said she should be in familiar surroundings."
"Oh my baby," Claire cried, letting go of her control. "Oh god, Edward."
"Where is she now?" Ed said bluntly, taking refuge in his Commander mode.
"She's here, with us, as I was trying to explain to you. The medical equipment she needed was set up here. Angel has bee-" Millicent said, but Ed jumped up, ignored Claire's outstretched hand, and headed back for the front door.
Miriam grabbed Alec's hand as he tried to go after Ed.
"Not now, Mir, love, Ed needs me."
"Alec, for crying out loud, you're my husband. Can't you think of me and your son for a change?"
"Mir, he sacrificed a great deal to save my life. I'm responsible for his daughter's sickness."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't have the cancer. It was . . . it was a misdiagnosis or something. I can't talk about it now. He needs me."
"Alec, are you sure? That's wonderful! Alec, please, can't we have some time together before you go running after him?"
"Not now, Mir."
* * *
"Hello, faerie princess. My perfect faerie princess. My baby girl. You're going to be all right, you hear me? I need to talk to the doctor. But I'll come back, okay? All your dolls and teddy bears are here with you to keep you company. Mommie and Daddy are home now, and they love you. You'll be fine."
Ed smoothed Anne's ringlets, touched the luminous faerie pendant she clung to, looked for a moment more at her pale face which now resembled one of her painted dolls, walked slowly out of the nursery bedroom, scarcely noticing it finally had been finished, Claire at his side. Claire was sobbing, and she wasn't quite sure if the tears were for her, or Anne or her husband. They had been so happy. Edward saving Alec, finding his real father, dealing with his past. Now this.
"Millicent, aren't there drugs? Treatments?" Alec was saying outside the door. Mir was there, carrying baby Alec, who sucked contentedly on a pacifier.
"She has a resistance to drugs due to the ones the alien controlled scientists gave her, so we were limited in what we could do. There's still shock ther-"
"NO. Absolutely out of the question, do you hear me?" Ed yelled as he came up, holding Claire's hand.
"Ed, please try to calm down. Going off the deep end is the last thing she needs for you to do."
"Nichols, don't tell me what to do, I outrank you. Do you understand me?"
"Ed, protocol needs to be followed. I need to test you, to test you all. I have to make sure-"
"Make sure the aliens didn't get to us? We were in that space called the Between. It's all in my report. Try reading it. Who is in charge of Shado?"
"Virginia. Carlin has the flu, so he stepped down."
"I want my daughter taken off the IV and the feeding tube straightaway. I'll feed her myself if I need to. She's endured enough pain. No more medications. No more needles."
"Ed-"
"You heard him, Millie," Claire snapped.
"I heard him say he wants me to perform procedures that will kill her within a few days, maybe a week at best. I can't do that. It wouldn't be ethical."
"Carry out my orders, Nichols."
"You're asking me to kill your daughter, Ed. That isn't rational."
"Fine. Claire, you do it, or I will."
Claire blanched.
"Sweetheart, please."
"She'll be where pain never goes. I wish I could follow her there."
His words chilled his audience. Angel, standing nearby, closed his eyes, whispered prayers he no longer quite believed in.
"Ed, there are laws-" Millicent began.
"She's MY daughter! To hell with the laws! To hell with them-"
"Ed, you need some sleep, and then we'll decide-" Alec said, but Ed gave half a bitter laugh.
"What right do you have to say anything to me, Alec? You're in the business of killing all my children off. First John, then Kamala, now Anne-"
"Edward!" Claire exclaimed. Little Alec started bawling, scared, perhaps echoing what Alec himself felt at Ed's verbal blows. Mir tried to hush him.
"Ed, this isn't you, it just isn't you-" Alec sputtered. Ed ignored him.
"He could have looked after himself, Claire, but he didn't. He just washed away his imaginary inadequacies and martial problems in drink. And we all act surprised that he was dying of cancer and ran off instead of coming to us? I'm weary of making choices! Who was I supposed to allow to die? Alec? My daughter? The least he could have done was look after-"
"Damn it, Ed, that isn't fair, are you actually going to throw Kamala at me again? I saved your life! And what the hell do you mean first John?" Alec yelled, and instantly regretted it. What the hell am I doing to him? He doesn't know what he's saying. He can't know what he's saying. Is that what he really believes?
"God. Please. Please. Edward, don't say anything you'll regret. We've all been through hell, but please-" Claire said softly.
"What the hell do I mean? I'll tell you what I mean, Colonel. Remember the year he died, Alec? Remember the year I wasn't even allowed to attend my own son's funeral? Remember you diverted the transporter, sent it to Ireland-to-there was a drug-I sent for a drug he needed-his only hope, I sent the transporter out earlier than scheduled, drug from the States-my only hope. Forget it. Maybe you are right. I'm so tired-"
"Oh for heaven's sake, you scum, why don't you take responsibility for your own actions? Don't try and blame my husband, damn it!"
"Mir, shut the hell up!" Alec yelled, desperately trying to take everything in. Ed had said in such a disturbing tone these things were always a matter of priorities. Oh my God. It was me. I killed his son. It all is clear now. The way he acted. How could I have been such an idiot not to know? I walked out on him repeatedly when he was suffering the most, and I didn't see it.
"This needs to stop, right here!" Millicent said, completely losing it. "We're all tearing each other apart over nothing. We need to think of the little girl for a change."
"What does that mean, Nichols? Does that mean you think I wasn't thinking of my daughter?"
"Ed, to be frank, you put work ahead of you, your family, and your friends. You're burning yourself up. You try to live up to unreasonable expectations you set for yourself. I hoped to stop you from going down the same destructive road again, but you cut your holiday short against my advice. Spending more time with Anne would have been good for you both."
"So you're saying I caused this? Mea culpa?"
"Ed, I don't want to add to the guilt you already insist on carrying around with you. But in my professional opinion, abandonment of a mentally ill child led to her condition deteriorating further. As your friend, no. If you brought Alec into the Between, believing he would recover, and obviously just looking at him, I'm inclined to believe you were successful. But you made a choice."
"Again. Again. Again," Ed said softly, tormented, remembering John and the events of that day, a day he thought he had left far behind him.
What have you done? His words to Alec.
Diverted it... what else ? Alec's confusion.
It's happening again. God help me, I've destroyed another child that I loved.
"I'm not the one to judge whether or not it was the right one. I have to think about your mental stability, in my capacity as head of Shado's psychological division, and as Anne's primary psychiatrist, and, Ed, as your friend I wouldn't be doing you any favors by lying to you."
"I need to think by myself for a while." Ed said.
"Ed, please-"
"Alec? You know what? Right now I don't think I want to ever see you again. So I'm not really interested in hearing your voice."
"You have a sick kid and all you're interested in doing is blaming Alec." Mir snapped. Ed didn't have any more fight in him. He allowed Claire to draw him away and they disappeared around the corner.
"Alec - give him time. It was a shock."
"You knew this?" Alec asked Millicent. "You knew it all this time and didn't tell me?"
"Alec, he wanted to protect you." she said sadly.
"I didn't even suspect it was something as devastating as that was making him act funny that day. Now he saved me, and lost another child in the process. How am I supposed to live with this?"
"Alec, you aren't any use to him now. We deserve a life of our own. I don't want to stay here any more. Russell's a decent sort, he can replace me as Ed's bodyguard. Let's quit. Let's go before he drags you down further," Mir pleaded. "He has his Dad, he doesn't need you now."
"Okay," Alec said dejectedly.
"Okay? Are you totally nuts, Alec? You go now and it's a death sentence for him." Millicent complained.
"Look what happened to him. Look what I did to his little girl. He's better off this way. You heard what he said. A place where pain never goes. Maybe without me, he can get there quicker."
"Alec, you pig headed fool!" Millicent yelled. "He'll get there quicker all right. He'll put a bullet in his head!"
But Alec didn't turn his head as he followed Mir out, taking his baby in his hands.
"AAAAaaagggh!" Millicent exclaimed in frustration.
"All that is left to do is pray." Angel suggested lamely.
"Stanley, I'm sorry, but God has no part of this. If he does, believe me, he doesn't get my vote. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a patient that needs me."
Angel was quiet for a moment. Then he began to speak to an empty corridor.
"You know what, Millie, dear? I'm alone for the first time in my life. Frances won't even talk to me anymore. I'm watching my dearest friends come apart. I lost my parish. I don't think the Almighty has my vote either. I think I'll go get drunk with Alec."
* * *
"Edward, talk to me."
Night had come, with a steady Tetbury rain, but the real night and rain was in his heart, and his solemn blue eyes she mused
"Is she suffering, Claire?" Ed finally said. He had consented to getting into his pyjamas and doing a perfunctory wash of his face. He looked like ground zero of a nuclear blast.
"No darling, she isn't. She's pretty heavily sedated."
"Claire, please take those ugly things out of her. Please."
"Edward, she'll die if we do it. You know that. We can't do what is right for us, we have to do what is right for her."
"So you blame me too?" he replied, heartbrokenly.
"Edward, listen to me." she pleaded.
"I need some air."
"Edward, listen to me, I'm begging you."
"Claire, I want those things out of her when I come back. If you love me, do that one thing for me. Promise me."
"Edward."
"Please. Do you want me to get down on my knees, is that what you want? How much more do I need to atone for my sins?"
"Edward. I'll do it. I'll do it. I love you."
"Claire, there's nothing left in me to love." he said simply, and went out of the room.
Claire wept for what seemed like a dozen winters, and then she went to the nursery, and with a silent Millicent looking on, and knowing it was against everything she believed, she did as Ed asked. She too had to make a choice, she thought to herself when the deed was done. Daughter, or husband.
God forgive me for forsaking a child, but I choose Edward.
Anne just continued to sleep.
* * *
"This is good whiskey you have, Alec."
"I'm sorry about Frances, Stanley."
"Oh, it's nothing, another bubble in boiling water. She's happiest away from me with her friends, her cooking and her rose bushes. So you're finally going? You and the missus are leaving Silk Wood Manor?"
"Yeah. Traveling around the world. Australia first. I'd like for my son to see the station I grew up on."
"It's the missus making you do this evil thing, Alec, lad."
"I haven't been a good husband to her. I owe her this. And you know what's worse? Ed was right. I didn't look after myself. I doubted myself. I thought she was better off -"
"Oh strewth. She's full of sheep shit. You belong with Q-Tip. He didn't mean a word he said, you must know that. Whatever happened in that Between of his has got his head rattled. And what do I see you doing? Listening to Mir. Letting her pull your strings. I thought you were more man than that, Alec, lad. She's shriveled your balls."
"What do you expect me to do? You heard him."
"I heard no more than a man in pain. I heard a man kicked in the head by circumstances beyond his control, striking out, instead of plucking out the thorns, sticking more in himself by pushing his best mate away to keep him safe."
"What are you on about, Stanley?"
"Why do you think he did it, the not telling about his son? Out of love. Out of love from a heart that had been shattered. I don't need Millie to tell me about human nature. You don't live life seeing the things I did, and not know a bit about humankind. You forget, I've known Q tip the longest. I saw him in Nam. I heard him. He lasted the longest of all of us. The gooks, they broke him long and slow and something fierce. I watched it happen. He fought, with everything in him, but he broke in the end. He's breaking now and he wants us to look away, he's full of pride. And so his words were well chosen. He's protecting you again. If you go off with the missus, you won't see it happen. "
"I think you're way off. I think you've had too much of that bottle."
"That in itself is true. But I can sleep it off. Can you? If you leave in the morning, and what I've said is true, then you'll be deserting him all over again. I know Q-tip. You went to Hawaii, hid your head in the sand, because you didn't want to witness his pain. You were selfish. So what does he do? He finds out, and he disobeys heaven and earth and time itself to make you well again. He goes back into a place that held fresh pain for him. Do you want to hear that he's been buried, Alec, lad? Sure, he's devastated about his little miss, and the guilt, new guilt at making an impossible choice to make. But he's trying to protect you from pain too. That's what he did years ago. That's what he's doing now. Pushing you away. Knowing the missus and you can go off and have what he most dearly longed for in his whole life. A home. Love. A family. Did you think heroes like our Q-tip are any less lonely or have less needs than mortal beings, Alec? "
"Stanley, if I go back to him, fight to stay and see him through this, do you understand the choice I will have to make?" Alec sobbed. "Mir will take off, with my son. I won't be able to do a blessed thing about it."
"I think it's a clear choice. Frances was my anchor, and he's yours. If your missus who claims to love you doesn't understand what you most need, than maybe she's not your soul mate after all. She's thinking of her. Not you. It would be good for you to remember that. Sleep on it before you pack your bags. God, if he exists, guide you. Good night, Alec. And if I don't see you come morning, goodbye."
Alec looked out the window after Angel stumbled out, and felt his soul ebb away. To stop the corrosion of his conscience, he picked up a fresh bottle, and didn't bother with a glass.
* * *
Claire finally left her daughter's side, and went back into the bedroom, and sat on her bed. It was still warm from his body. She curled up, weeping, clutching at the empty space.
Behind her, the night table drawer was halfway open.
If she had been more composed, she would have noticed it.
She would have remembered it was where he kept his Glock.
It was not there.
* * *
"Edward."
"God, you startled me. Dad, you shouldn't be out in the rain like this."
"Neither should you."
"Go back in the house, Dad."
"Why?"
"Dad, I need to be alone."
"You've been alone far too long. If you think I am stupid then shame on you."
"Dad, what are you saying?"
"I was watching you without you knowing. I saw your wife leave, and you go back into the bedroom after she left. You came out a minute later with your jacket on. I figured you'd be here. "
"Dad, go back in the house."
"Edward, I know what you have inside that jacket."
Ed turned toward his father. Their eyes locked. Evan smiled a little. Ed shook his head slightly.
"Dad." was all he managed to say.
"Do you really think that's the answer?"
"I don't know what you're talk-"
"Not much of a son, lying to your father, and to yourself. Unless you're hunting the poor birds around here, there isn't much else that gun is good for. You wouldn't be the only one that died, son. We'd all be buried with you, the people that love you the most."
"Dad, I never should have gone back into the Between. I should have left Alec to his fate."
"I agree."
Ed jerked at the unexpected answer, and Evan chuckled a little.
"You find letting Alec die funny?" Ed replied coldly.
"I find you saying what you're saying funny. You went into the Between because fate dictated it. Now you have to deal with what's happened. But you don't have to deal with it alone. No matter what you think. Do you know Alec is leaving?"
"I heard."
"Are you going to stop it?"
"No."
"Are you going to put a bullet in yourself tonight, Edward?"
"That's the one thing I still have control over, isn't it? In the middle of all this chaos. "
"No, that isn't true." Evan said.
"Tell me! Tell me then! What else have I got that I can count on?"
"Me," Evan said gently and wrapped his arms tightly against his son. Ed crumbled like tin foil and allowed himself to be held, and rocked.
"God, oh God, oh God. Why is this happening? What have I done to my baby girl? I had to save him, Dad. I had to. I can't imagine losing him again. The world would be so cold."
"Edward, don't. Listen to me, Edward. Give me the gun."
Ed sighed, unzipped his jacket, and took out the gun, handed it over.
"Take out the bullets, so neither of us gets hurt." Evan suggested, looking a little nervous.
"Have you ever held a gun?"
"No."
Ed chuckled a little without mirth and took it.
"Aren't we a pair? The curse of the Straker family."
"Edward, come on, you need to sleep. In the morning, we'll know what to do."
"That simple, huh?"
"Come on, Edward. If you won't sleep, at least show me around the garden. I haven't been here for so long."
"Dad?"
"Yes?"
"I wish-"
"That we had known each other longer? That I would have had the courage to tell you I was your real father?"
"You're worse than my wife, reading my mind like that."
"You may think you do a good job of hiding your feelings, but you're like tracing paper. Claire is probably frantic, Edward. She's a beautiful woman."
"Yes, one who blames me too. She pretended not to know me, and now she blames me just like Millie does."
"I think your broken heart believes that, but I don't think your head does. Edward, shall we walk a bit, or shall we go into the house?"
"I say the house," a voice said.
Both Strakers jumped.
"Damn it, Crane, how long have you been hiding there?" Ed snapped as Russ emerged from behind a lavender bush.
"Long enough to stop you from drilling your head with metal if I had to. Doing my job. He okay, Mr. E?"
"We might have to tie him down to get him into the house." Evan smiled.
"You're good, following me out here like that. I didn't hear a thing. Ian was right about you. I guess I'll keep you on," Ed said.
"You would have sensed me if you weren't so upset over the girl. Come on. I can hear my toenails rattling in this cold, and I used to think stakeouts back home were bad. I don't want either of you to catch pneumonia either. Brandy and bed sound good to you two?"
"Edward doesn't drink, you know that, Russ."
"I do tonight.." Ed responded in a defeated manner. He allowed Evan to put a steadying arm around him as they walked toward the house.
"Good. Let me have the Glock." Russ said.
"You don't trust me."
"Not tonight, let's put it that way."
Ed handed Russ his Glock. It bothered both Russ and Evan that he did not put up a fight.
* * *
Millicent looked at the sleeping little girl, sighed, checked her vitals, and then stretched. She turned around when Claire came in.
"Do you think I am a murderer, Millie?" Claire said, weeping.
"I don't know what to think. You know what really stinks is when you learn stuff in class and then when you come across a situation in life where it really happens, nothing turns out as black and white as you thought it would. I warned Ed that taking on Anne was going to be a big deal emotionally, caring for a mentally ill child, especially after Kamala. But you know Ed. He wasn't about to abandon a little girl."
"Elena Semjonov chose Edward. He sang to Anne, and it activated the doll Elena had made containing the antidote to the drug that had been killing him. Doing it saved his life."
"I know, I read the report, remember?. Incredible."
"I don't know where Edward is." Claire said. "I'm afraid I hurt him without meaning to."
"Edward is right here." Ed said from behind Claire.
"Oh I was so worried about you." she said, hugging him tightly. She sniffed the brandy on his breath but said nothing, just smoothed his hair back into place.
"Believe me, you had reason to be." Russ said. "If ya want, I'll keep vigil over the kid while you get the younger Mr. E into bed."
"Thanks, Russ. Edward, please come and rest."
"How's my little girl? There, there, you see. She's all right now, without those awful tubes and needles in her. I won't let her be hurt again. Nobody should be hurt that much, don't you agree?" Ed asked, sounding more than a little drunk.
"Edward, she's resting comfortably, and so should you be."
"I don't think all that brandy agreed with me. You won't get any struggle, I'll come quietly, officer."
"Good." Claire forced a smile as she led Ed away. As she suspected, the liquor hit his system hard, and she didn't have long to wait until he fell asleep, then she went back downstairs. Russ looked at her. "He's sleeping."
"He took his gun out in the back yard with him." Russ said, giving it to Claire.
"Oh GOD."
"Hey, take it easy. Mr. E kept an eye on him, and I did too. If he actually tried anything, I would have-hey, where are you going?"
"To give Alec Freeman a piece of my mind."
"Does she know how to use that thing?" Russ asked, watching her go.
"Let's put it this way. Ed taught her, and Ed's a expert. And for once, to hell with ethics, I'm not going after her. I feel like shooting Freeman myself tonight. I better go get some sleep on the couch, I'll have to deal with Ed and his hangover tomorrow."
Russ grinned.
"I've been there, bought the T-shirt. Goodnight."
Millicent went into the snug, only to find a foul smelling Angel snoring away on the softest couch. She moaned, and settled into a green leather wingchair that Ed favored, and waited for all hell to break loose.
* * *
Alec was snoring on his own couch when the loud banging on the cottage door awakened him, and his son started to bawl again. Mir came downstairs, tying her robe around her, and fished around in a purse for her pearl handled gun.
"Damn it, I left it at Straker's place."
"You expecting aliens?" Alec asked.
"Aliens don't knock. But just in case.."
"LET ME IN!"
"It's Claire. Oh Lord, something's happened to Anne." Alec took a quick look in the peephole, more for Mir's assurance than his own, then unlocked his door.
"Alec, do you see this?"
"Jesus Christ, Claire, is that thing loaded?"
A large vase full of wilting flowers exploded into several pieces with a single shot as his answer. He swallowed nervously.
"What the hell are you doing?" Mir exclaimed.
"Your bags are packed. Why are your bags packed? Why you filthy son of a bitch. I have news for you. You aren't leaving my husband, not even if I have to put a bullet in your wife to make it happen, do you understand, Alec?"
"She's lost her mind!" Mir cried.
"What happened?" Alec asked, wondering if he could get her to empty the gun shooting at things other than Australians.
"You see this gun? Edward took it out into the garden with him. I thought he'd just gone for a walk, and I was too dumb to go after him. He had intended to kill himself. "
"Shit." Alec said softly.
"Why are you surprised? You heard him. He wants to go with her, to a place where pain never goes. He's falling apart, Alec, we all are. You can't leave him now. He needs you. I didn't understand why he'd attack you. But suddenly it all became clear. He wants you to have the family life that he deserves to have, but something always gets in the way. If it isn't Shado, it's tragedy of one kind or another. He's sleeping now. But you're not leaving, do you understand me?"
"Stanley was telling me the same thing."
"Now wait a minute, is that what you two were talking about? Alec, you aren't his slave. You heard what he said. You don't need someone accusing you of things that you-"
"Mir, love, give it up. I have to go to him. He's being eaten up inside, believing he's paying a price for my well being. Can you imagine what he feels like? Just watching that kid turn into a vegetable?"
"Alec, you have a wife, and a son of your own. You have your whole life ahead of you. I love you, I won't let you do this to yourself. "
"Stuff that garbage, Miriam. This isn't about Alec or his son. This is about you being selfish. Yeah, I know you had a awful life with your first husband. I'm not saying you don't deserve happiness. I'm not even saying you don't love Alec. But at some point after the whole thing with Danny, you quit respecting Edward. When will you understand they belong together, Edward and Alec? "
"Alec, I'm telling you-"
"NO. Damn it, woman NO. You aren't telling me anything. Ever since I got the cancer, I just laid back and played dead, and let you have your way , did something I knew deep down in my bones was wrong. I should have gone to Ed right away. I was selfish too. And now ever since then, I've allowed you to hold the reins. No more. If you keep driving a wedge between Ed and I, well then, you've made your choice, haven't you? Mir, love, I've never felt like this for anyone, including Yetunde. I'll never forget my little girl Ayomide. I think I'd rather have her dead than in a vegetative state, like Anne. I can imagine how he's suffering. He thinks that was the real sacrifice he had to make, the one Perry warned us about. Well, if it is, I'm staying by his side. Claire's right, he needs me."
"Alec.."
"No, this is about THEM, Mir, not you. THEM. Not you, not me, but THEM, and the love between them that's kept my husband going all these years. And if Alec wasn't such a idiot, he would have been at Edward's side the minute this happened instead at the end of a whisky bottle. I love Edward, God forgive me, I love Edward more than my own daughter. And to Edward, Alec is life. He was going to blow his brains out tonight, would that have made you happy, Miriam?" Claire said shrilly. Alec just sighed.
"You haven't got the right to speak to me like that!"
"Shut up! Pins and needles, you're a complete idiot! I can speak to you anyway I feel like, My husband pays for this cottage you live in rent free. So you try remembering that. Ed has given you a whole lot, including Alec. He entrusted you with Alec's care like Anne giving away a treasured doll. And you're doing all you can to break it."
"I just didn't want to lose him, was that asking so much?" Miriam sobbed now.
"Mir, luv. Wanting to be his rock to hold on to doesn't mean I don't love you. That's what you have to believe."
"So you're going over there?" Mir sighed.
"Yeah."
"All right. I better stay here and shut up your brat."
"All Freemans have healthy lungs like that." Alec found a grin on his face.
"Edward saves you, and you wind up plastered. You know what's even more awful is Edward got drunk tonight." Claire wept. Alec blanched.
"That's it. Come on, let's go. And Claire, try not to shoot me with that thing."
"You know damn well Edward taught me, and Edward could shoot one of your eyelashes off without leaving a mark."
"Yeah and you have his temper when he's threatened, which is what I am more worried about." Alec grinned. "Besides, you killed my vase."
She lowered the Glock, and hugged him tightly.
* * *
"She okay?" Millicent asked Russ.
"Fine. I just checked on Mr. E, and covered him with a blanket, he's sleeping soundly in the sunroom.. I made myself a sandwich in the kitchen and got a soda. You want anything?"
"Nope, I have some lukewarm coffee. Thanks for asking."
"The old man smells like something died." Russ said, wrinkling his nose.
Millicent looked at the snoring Angel.
"I think he stopped bathing at some point after he filed the divorce papers. That and a bottle of Alec's whiskey. I'd go beat sense into Frances for him, but I have Ed and Anne and Claire to worry about." she shrugged.
"Yeah. I like it."
"Like what?"
"Being needed like that. I thrive on it."
Millicent smiled.
"So does Alec, and believe me, Ed has a never ending need. I just hope Claire convinced Miriam that he does."
"Yeah well, I hear from Ian Claire is dynamite when someone threatens her Straker. I can buy that. I don't let just anyone near my Mr. E, either. Goodnight, Dr. Nichols."
"Night, Russell."
Millicent watched him walk up the oak staircase toward the nursery and mentally kicked herself for noticing what a good looking man he was at a time when more than likely Alec Freeman was going to be drilled into swiss cheese by his best friend's wife, Ed was having a nervous breakdown and she had a little girl in a psychological limbo. She sighed.
* * *
Russell turned the corner, balancing his soda and ham sandwich, heading toward the nursery, a suite of rooms that had recently been finished by the building crew. Despite Ian's jokes about them only hanging around for great food and to play ball with Molly, they were true craftsmen. Russell stopped. He heard noises. He set down his soda and his drink, and got out his 38. Police special. He crept toward the room Anne was in. He heard two people talking. Suddenly it occurred to him that it wasn't two people. It was Anne. His professionalism overrode his astonishment, and he didn't lower his gun, but he opened the door with his foot just enough to see inside.
Ann was sitting up, munching cookies, and talking to her favorite doll. It was one of the ones Ed had bought her shortly before he'd gone missing. As he listened, tears ran down his cheeks and he put away his gun.
"Are you hungry? I'm hungry! I hid the cookies when they weren't looking. It's a game. Oh yes, that was very good, you're very smart. And you know what else? Daddy is home. Really? Oh you knew that. You knew that all along. You played pretend to be sick so Daddy wouldn't go away anymore to the bad studio. Now Daddy will stay with you forever and ever, and play. I didn't like going asleep at the bad hospital, I didn't like it at all! Too many ouchies! Oh I know, its okay, Angel made them take us home, Angel is nice, except when he cries for Frances. I don't like auntie Frances anymore, she's mean to Angel. I want Daddy, maybe if we're way quiet we can go see Daddy. But what if Dr. Nichols finds out? She'll be cross! No, Mommie is nice, she won't let that meanie Dr. Nichols do tests. I don't like tests. You want to go see Daddy? Maybe we can go see Daddy and leave him a cookie so he isn't hungry. But what if he finds out we are pretend sick? What's a fugue state anyway, dolly? I don't know. One more cookie. I want to go see Daddy. I miss Daddy. Daddy likes lemon cake, but Frances is bad, she doesn't make anymore for him. Let's bring him a cookie."
"Hey, kid."
"Nooooooooo." Anne said and ducked under the covers.
"Take it easy now. I'm not upset with you. I won't tell anyone you've been faking it. I used to fake getting sick with I was a kid. I'd stand on my bed and hold the thermometer to the overhead lightbulb so I wouldn't have to go to school. I hated school, they made fun of my freckles and red hair. My Dad eventually figured it out, and taught me how to use my fists, and that was the end of the kids that were giving me a hard time. So all this was about keeping Straker home with you, huh?"
"Uh huh." Anne said, peeking out.
"Guess what?"
"What?"
"You have a grandpa now."
"No I don't. "
"Yeah you do."
"No I don't. I hate him, he shot my birdie. It got all better, but he shot it, and Perry made it better, but he was mean."
"That Daniel guy?"
"Uh huh. He made Daddy sad."
"I'm not talking about him. I'm talking about your real grandfather. Straker found him. I work for him. He loves your Daddy a lot. He kinda looks like him too. He's shy, like you are."
"Is this for real?"
"Yeah. You want to see him?"
"Dr. Nichols will be cross."
"Nah. I work for your Dad now. That means I work for you. Ian says your Dad calls you a fairie princess. I guess that makes me your white knight and your Daddy the King."
Anne beamed. "I like that. So you'll protect me and mommie and daddy?"
"Yeah. I loved that stuff as a kid. You feeling okay?"
"My hand hurts and my tummy hurts."
"Yeah. So you hid cookies in here, huh? Pretty clever, making everyone think you were sick. Naughty too. But I figure they'll be so glad to see you that they won't mind. I think you need to come and see your grandpa, and then tell Straker, tell your Daddy what you've been up to. He's pretty heartsick himself, you know."
"Is he going to die?" she wept.
"You're a magic fairie princess or at least that's what that weirdo pal of my Mr. E, Perry says. You can make him better. Got a magic wand?"
"No."
"Well, let's see. Here, my pen ought to do it. Come on. Here."
"Can dolly come?"
"No sweat."
"Huh?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Okay. I like you, Russell."
"Sir Russell." he grinned.
Anne giggled, and took his hand.
* * *
"He looks like leftovers from hell microwaved," Alec commented, watching Ed stir in his sleep.
"He's going to have the mother of all hangovers in the morning," sighed Claire.
"How's his little girl?"
"I don't know. I suppose I should go and relieve Russell. I don't know if he's gotten any sleep. I know I haven't. Oh Alec, of all the people in the world for us to love, why did we pick this loser?"
Alec chuckled at her.
"Just bad luck, I guess. "
"So complimentary, you two traitors. Talking behind my back when you think I'm not listening. Oh, my head."
"ED!" Alec cried.
"EDWARD!" Claire exclaimed.
"Ohhh not so loud, please. Oh God my-my-my-" Ed jumped up, ran into the bathroom and vomited rather noisily into the sink. Claire and Alec grinned at one another. Ed ran some water in the sink, washed up, and then wearily came back in, sank into a chair, glared at Alec.
"Why is it you can drink as much as a gallon, and you never seem to have a hangover?"
"I think he does, I think he just gets too drunk to know he has one, Edward. Want me to find you something for the nausea?"
"Yeah, please. I don't feel so good."
"I'll get it right away. And Edward, I love you, I don't blame you for anything. Try and remember that. And if you ever pull a stunt like you did last night, I'll put a bullet in your skull. Remember that too."
"Wouldn't that be sort of self-defeating?" Ed smiled a little.
She smiled at him.
"Shut up. Alec, I think you have something to talk about with my worthless husband."
They watched her go out.
"Women." Alec said. "Can't live with them."
"Can't live without them. I hear the same is true of Australians." Ed said quietly, rubbing his forehead.
"Ed, I-"
"No, Alec. I didn't mean anything I said. I swear it."
"Ed, if I had known about your son, diverting the-"
"Alec, don't. You didn't. It turned out, well, it turned out the way it turned out. If we had gotten to that alien in time, it might have changed everything. But we win some and we lose some."
"I was stupid about Miriam. Stupid about the cancer."
"Water under the bridge. I have more on the agenda to be concerned about. My daughter." Ed's shoulders slumped, he closed his eyes, and he lie back against the chair.
"Ed, if there's anything I can do-"
"No. Nothing. Well, maybe there is."
"Name it."
" Fill in at Shado for me? I'm going to be taking some more time off work. I want to be with-"
"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!"
Ed jumped up, and ran for the door, Alec behind him. It was Claire's voice. Heart thundering, Ed ran downstairs. Evan was coming up the steps toward him, smiling. Smiling in an odd fashion.
"Dad?"
"I think someone wants you to have a cookie." Evan said, and stepped aside so that Ed could go down to the great hall.
"What? I heard Claire-" Ed stopped near the foot of the stairs, Alec behind him. Blood roared in his head. Next to Claire and behind Russell, was a small figure holding a cookie.
"Anne?" Ed managed to say, as if it was an enormous effort.
"Are you going to be cross?" Anne squeaked. Ed took a step to reach her, and another, and then he passed out falling down the remaining steps and lying still on the great hall floor. Claire gave a shrill cry and hurried to him. Alec gasped, and hurled down the stairs in a daze, stopping to kneel beside him.
"I'll get an ambulance," Russell said.
"Did I make him die? Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Anne yelled, and hugged Ed.
He didn't move.
Damn birds in the bare trees out there in the garden, sparkling with the first snow, singing. You'd think they'd know I am laid up on this damn couch, Alec is at Shado doing what I ought to be doing and his wife hates me for it, my Dad and Angel are out there shoveling more bullshit about me than they are snow, Russell's hovering over me like a Goodyear blimp, my wife has that God awful smug I know what's best for you, dear look on her face, and my daughter stares at me tearfully like a living Keane painting. This is the first Thanksgiving I can remember when we all had to depend on catered food, because that queen of idiots Frances won't go back to Angel, thereby being here to cook us a real meal instead of overpriced slop we all pretended to like.
Oh, listen to you prattle on, Straker. You get the prize for feeling sorry for yourself. Truth be told, you're older, slower, and useless. At least when you knocked yourself out cold falling down the stairs because you were half pickled with brandy, you didn't seriously injure yourself. Oh sure. You just broke a leg and your wrist, and your whole body looks like your daughter went wild with the black and blue crayons on it.
Jesus. Only 11:45. Two and a half hours before I can have another pain pill and visit oblivion. You're a has been, Ed Straker. You're on the wrong side of fifty. You have been for several years. Damn, I'm hungry. Russell's never around when I really want him to be. Ian's tinkering with the car. Not that he needs to be, he just doesn't want to run into me in my present mood. God only knows where Perry went. Molly's out there playing. Rabbits are at the vet getting their checkups. It's going to cost me more than my own hospital bill at Mayland. Nothing on television. There never is. All bad news on the radio.
I don't feel like listening to music. I've read the same mystery at least forty times no matter what the clever new title was. How many more times can that shrink get in trouble with that gay cop? Millie tells me I should take the time and relax and read these books she lent me. You read one of those things, you've read them all. Where the hell is Claire? My glass of juice is empty. Screw this caffeine rationing, I want coffee.
"He's approaching the meltdown point." Russell Crane grinned at Claire.
"I know he's been miserable. He's been snapping at everyone. I caught him crying once, but he denied it. Between or no Between, he seems to be taking a longer time to recover from that hairline fracture, and that wrist has been paining him so much, he's been practically begging me for pain pills. It isn't like Edward. He refuses to admit he came close to another breakdown. He's so damn stubborn. All week he's been making references to being old because that idiot bone specialist that looked too young to shave said right in front of him at Edward's age bones just don't knit as fast. I felt like breaking some of the jerk's bones to see how fast his knit."
"I'm on your payroll now, you want the boy doctor beaten up, I'm your man."
Claire managed a smile.
"I can't say I'm not tempted. Russell, I have to do something to make Edward feel better, to make him feel like he has his family around him. Even having his real Dad here hasn't cheered him up all that much. He thinks he's gotten old. Why can't he see he takes my breath away just to look at him? I don't know what to-"
"CLLLAIRRRRRRRE!" came the distinctive tones from downstairs in the sunroom, where Ed's bed had been moved to make it easier for him to sleep without having to go up the staircase. "BRING ME COFFEE!"
Claire knew that the accident had made her husband unable to do much more than snuggle, and he'd done little of that. It had taken away the place where he normally would have retreated, Shado hq. He couldn't really be a Commander, because hobbling around on his crutches or stuck in a wheelchair, electric driven or not, was not the picture he wanted his people to see. He couldn't be a husband now because he foolishly felt he had nothing to offer if they couldn't share sex.
She knew he felt empty. No matter what she said to him, he still had Anne on punishment for pretending to be in fugue state, simply so she could have her new Daddy home. But the new Daddy had turned into an ogre, and not one remotely like Shrek. Claire instinctively felt Edward was trying not to coddle Anne the way he had Kamala, with the catastrophic results that error had brung.
Yes, Anne needed to be disciplined, but Edward had practically turned her into the daughter in the Iron Mask, pretty much locking her in her new rooms. She had been with them for the abysmal Thanksgiving day dinner, but Edward had ignored her sad eyes all during dinner, and he himself had eaten little, and had remained mostly silent. She felt he was making an effort for Angel and his Dad, and that was about it.
"The guy's like clockwork." Russell reflected. "He's been calling you every ten minutes."
"He's lonely, Russell. I have to think of something. Edward, I'll put on a fresh pot, be down in a minute."
"SOME DECENT FOOD WITH IT WOULD BE NICE!" came the irritated retort.
Claire sighed. She squinted. Then a look of determination crossed her face.
"Want me to go play cards with him again?"
"No, you wouldn't come back alive. Anyway, I have an idea...."
* * *
"Look. Q-tip!"
"For God's sake, close the door, I'm freezing. A tree? You chopped down a tree? Do you have any idea how much replacing the foliage in the-"
"Edward, shut up." Evan said.
Ed's jaw dropped open, and Angel looked at Evan as if he'd grown an extra head. Angel gulped.
"What the hell did you just say to me, Dad?"
"I told you to shut up. You're making everyone in this manor miserable just because you're miserable. It's the season, son, try and remember that. Besides, we didn't cut down any tree. We drove up to Westonbirt and bought the nicest one there, to put in the snug and decorate. Now make yourself useful and help and we'll all hang ornaments and-"
"You do it. I'm going to take a nap. That way I won't be in the way. Just pretend I'm not here, since I appear to be ruining everything for everybody."
"Q-Tip, I'm sure he didn't mean that."
"Since when are you a psychic, Stanley? I heard what he said. Now take that thing out of here, it's dropping pine needles all over the carpet."
"Son. I didn't mean to hurt your-"
"Well, no matter what you intended, it doesn't matter. Now just leave me alone, the two of you. I'm tired, and I'm in pain. Just go away."
Evan sighed. Angel hadn't heard Ed call him by his real name for quite a while, and he usually did so only when he wanted to push him away. Angel opened his mouth to respond, but Ed had already turned his back, and laid down gingerly, pulling the gold chenille throw over him. Angel exchanged a look of concern with Evan, and they both pulled the tree out of the sunroom.
In his solitude, Ed's shoulders shook as he sobbed soundlessly.
* * *
"You want us to what?"
"I want everyone out of the house except Russell and Anne. None of us can help Edward right now, he has to find peace in his own heart, Angel. He feels responsible for everything and everyone, and as much as he'd like to be with Anne all the time, to be a real father, he can't. His job is in his soul, and he struggles with that." Claire said. "He can't be what we want all the time. And he punishes himself for it."
"I still can't believe what Edward does. I mean, it did seem strange that he'd give up his Air Force career for a film studio. Rosemary said Edward didn't seem all that keen on cinema. But aliens? A secret organization? It's like a bad dream. It explains so much. It adds up. Edward has always seemed like the kind of person who would no more walk away from such a terrible responsibility than he'd cut off his own right arm. Claire, we have to do something. For a while, he seemed so lighthearted. And then the cruelty of Daniel, and little Anne, and the truth about his mother. It's all too much. However strong a man is.." Evan let his sentence trail away, frustrated and sad.
"However strong a man is, he can still cry. And the stronger he is, the harder he cries. I saw it in the camp, and I see it now. He isn't fooling us." Angel said. "And mind you, he'd have my head on a pike if he knew we'd know how bad he feels. But we just felt you had to know what was at stake. So, Claire, love, what do you have in mind?"
Claire took some time to explain, and they smiled, and she walked with them out the door. Then she went and fetched the pot of coffee, and the ham sandwiches, took a deep breath, and approached her husband. The click of her heels on the floor alerted him, and he wiped away his tears roughly.
God help me, because this is going to hurt him, this part of it, she thought. But I have to do this.
"About time. I'm starving." he whined as she set down his tray.
"You ought to be. You haven't eaten all that much since that dinner we had. Edward, I got a call on my cell, I have to go out for a few hours."
Ed looked stricken, he didn't make much of an effort to hide it, he was so shocked.
"Why?" was all he could manage to say, already feeling the sting of loneliness.
"One of my friends at Mayland has come down with the flu, and I'm going to do her shift for her."
"Oh for heaven's sakes, just get someone from the registry!"
"And have it maybe be some twit that wouldn't know a scalpel from a starfish? No. Edward. And you'll have to babysit Anne, so you'll just have to lighten up on the punishment and let her out of the room and right here where you can keep a close eye on her."
"Claire, I don't know how to be a father anymo-" Ed censored himself, regretting the outburst.
Claire's heart turned over. Oh God, Edward. That's what you're scared of, isn't it. That this will just be another Kamala. Another failure. You blame yourself for what she did. You won't listen to Millie, or to me, or even to Alec.
"Ian left for some parts for the car, Angel and Evan went into town to get new Christmas decorations, it seems anything that doesn't come out of your Dad's shops isn't up to snuff. Russell has security duty, he'll be here, but playing Daddy isn't what we hired him for, and you know it. So the job falls to you. Come on, Edward, don't look so scared. If you can keep aliens from stealing organs, you can babysit your six year old daughter. I'll call you from the hospital when I get a break. Now go get your daughter."
"How? I can't walk!" Ed protested.
"Honestly, Edward. My big baby. The crutches are right there. If you go slowly, you can make it up the stairs. See you later, darling. Happy Christmas." Claire bent and kissed him. He was stiffer than one of the logs crackling in the snug fireplace. She felt his panic and loneliness as she walked out, getting her coat and handbag in the great hall. He watched through the picture windows of the sunroom as she headed toward the garage, into her green Volvo and out of sight. He didn't see her tears.
He began to speak aloud to himself.
"I'm so damn disgusting, not even my own wife wants to be with-oh shut up Straker. Just shut up. Stop crying. You're such a damn idiot. Why didn't you just take the damn pills for clinical depression Millie recommended. No, you lied to her, and said you didn't need them. Christ, I feel so alone. So alone. Oh shut up. Come on. You have to make sure your daughter is all right. But this is the first time you've been alone with her. Before, everyone else was there, just in case you made a mistake. What must she think of you? You vowed to take care of her. In the memory of her mother, who gave her life in the attempt to keep her little girl alive. Suck it up, Straker. That little girl saw her mother gutted, and her insides taken out like tissue from a Kleenex box. So just suck it up. It doesn't matter that most days you wish you'd died, falling down those stairs. Everyone would be better off without you. So come on. Move. One leg at a time. Move the damn crutch. Too old? I'll show them who is too old."
* * *
Ed started to make his way into the hall. Russell, who had been listening, his heart heavy, moved out of sight.
I know what that's like, Russ told himself. One day your father is king of the world, and the next he's being eaten away by pain and shame. Straker's making that journey. But Jesus, I can't sit here and let him do it alone. I owe it to Mr. E to make it a little easier for him. Give him someone to yell at.
"Hey, Ed, you aren't supposed to be up, are ya?" Russ said, moving into Ed's path like he'd just turned the corner and seen him.
"Oh, so nobody told you, huh? Seems we're the only ones here, and I got demoted to babysitter."
"Oh man, you don't know, do you?"
Ed shoved Russ aside with his good hand. Russ grinned.
"Know what?" Ed snapped, going at a snail's pace up the stairs.
"That kid likes to color."
"I ought to know that. I paid for her crayons and colour books and six million dolls and all the other toys. What about it?"
"Well, nothing..."
"So why bring it up? Jesus Christ, how many steps are on this damn thing?"
"Twenty-seven. Security detail needs to know things like that. Why bring it up? Well, it's like this. When's the last time you colored?"
Ed almost fell in his consternation.
"Why? Oh no. NO. NO."
"Hey, I have been with that kid. I had to color with her. And frankly, I'm better at hand to hand combat than I am coloring inside the lines."
"I'm a grown man and I'm certainly NOT colouring in any damn kid's colour book, Russ."
* * *
"What's the matter, Daddy?" a blissful Anne asked. She was curled up peacefully on a pink and white rug next to her less than peaceful looking father, who was stretched out on his stomach, his full leg cast resting on a pillow. He had discarded his silk robe and was wearing just a T-shirt and boxer shorts. One foot was bare, the one with the cast covered with a stocking.
"Politically incorrect? They changed flesh to peach? They changed most of these colours. This is ridiculous. Hand me the copper, will you? Retired colours. Nuts. Is nothing sacred? I grew up with these colours, damn it!"
"Did you used to colour when you were small?" Anne asked. He stared at her.
"Of course I did. All the kids did."
"Daddy, you're colouring outside of the castle."
"Oh I am, am I? You ever try colouring with your left hand and making it perfect? Now just be quiet and let Daddy colour."
"Boy, is he bad at this." Russ said, coming in with Ed's coffee and sandwich tray, to which he had added peanut butter and jelly and cookies for Anne.
"I pay you to guard me, not to make wisecracks, Crane. Now hand me a cookie and then get out of here."
"A copper castle? Everyone knows castles are gold, huh, Princess?" Russ grinned, handing Ed a bunch of cookies, and Anne giggled.
"OUT, or you're going to be thrown from the castle tower in ten seconds. Ten, nine.."
"For pete's sake, Ed, she colors better than you do, and she's six!"
"EIGHT, SEVEN.."
"Is he still yelling cause they cancelled his precious colors?"
"SIX, FIVE, FOUR OH HELL....ONE!" Ed threw the coloring book at Russell, and he calmly dodged it. Anne giggled some more as Russ sighed loudly for effect, and then grinned.
"Four, three, two, one, Ed. The guy can't even count..I'm going, I'm going.."
"And next time bring the lemon filling cookie bars Crane. I asked for the lemon filled, for heaven's sake." Ed yelled. He could hear Russell laughing as he went down the stairs. Anne went and got the book back for him. Ed smiled. Then it occurred to him that he had smiled. Industriously , he fished in the colouring box for a suitable blue for his sky. He spotted wild blue yonder, examined it with surprise, finally pronounced it appropriate for a Air Force brigadier general to use, and started in on the sky, pausing ever so often to munch on a cookie.
* * *
"Where's the file on sightings in Wales, Keith?" Alec Freeman barked over the intercom. Operatives in the control centre bent their heads over their consoles, looking busy. In actuality, they didn't want to know if Alec's newly acquired bite was worst than his bark. Computers clacked and whizzed and beeped, doing their part as well as if they too, were scared out of their mechanical wits by the Australian.
"On your desk, Sir."
"What the hell could they want in that part of the country," Alec muttered to himself. "Ford, pull up all the maps of the area and bring them to me. And get Carlin and Jenkins on line one for me, conference call. Damn it, Keith, hurry!"
"Sir, all the maps are on the view screen, I can assist you with the controls if you like.."
"If I LIKE? Keith, there are four UFOs that got past Moonbase defenses, and you're asking me if now is the time I want to screw with that damn screen? Get in here, now! No wait, I need Carlin and Jenkins. Tell Bradley his leave has been cancelled and to get his arse down here too. Christ! If the Commander knew four UFOs were in the skies above - Keith, damn it, did you hear me?"
"I was putting the call forth to Captains Carlin, Jenkins and Bradley, Colonel."
"Well, get in here! Wait, do a search through the archives on past Wales sightings as well. Hurry up!"
"It'll take me at least two minutes, Sir."
"Well MOVE IT! Freeman out."
Keith pulled up all the information, made printouts and schematics, and then sunk in his chair and permitted himself a small groan.
"What's with Alec, for goodness' sake?" Ayesha wanted to know. "He's been this way for weeks now! It isn't like that broken leg will sideline Straker forever."
"Lieutenant, between you and me? I never thought I'd say this, but.."
"Yes?"
"I miss Commander Straker." Ford admitted. She had to grin at him.
"UFO in area K 7 9, landing pattern six," SID announced. Ford reflected that the computer was probably the only one in all of Shado that was calm. He gathered up his files and hurried to Straker's office, almost praying for his nemesis to get back. He wasn't sure, nobody was sure, they could take an Alec Freeman that was apparently trying to out Straker Straker for much longer. Surrender to the aliens was beginning to look good to Ford...
* * *
"You have no right to speak like that to me, Claire Straker."
"I have every right! Pins and needles, Frances! Angel just doesn't care what happens to him now. The only reason he's putting up a good front is because he's helping Edward's father start to feel at home, and to try and cheer Edward up."
"Goodness, what is the matter with Edward now?"
"Oh that does it. That just does it. I lied to my husband at the worst possible time, I told him I'd gone to hospital to fill in for a friend. Instead I knew I had to come here. You and Angel became so much a part of his life that he came to a point where he couldn't do without you both. We had the most miserable Thanksgiving dinner you can possibly imagine, catered by a bunch of disrespectful idiots. I wouldn't even feed it to the slugs in the garden. Edward's new bodyguard Russell, who worked for his Dad a long time, didn't trust the staff the catering company sent, so he spent most of his time watching them. But that's all besides the point! Don't you remember the times we were happiest, Frances? When we were all together, and you spoiled Edward rotten with your cooking. You know I can't even boil water. For heaven's sake, Frances, if you don't go back to Angel, then you better find yourself a black dress to wear to his funeral, because Edward and I will be burying him. You have no idea what we've all been through. Haversham quit and had to take the amnesia drug, Alec was dying, and didn't tell Edward-"
"What?"
Claire sighed, and pulled up a chair and started to fill Frances in.
* * *
"Mr. Crane? You may remember us, we were here a few days ago." the young woman said. She was somewhere in her twenties, but the buzz cut, as out of place as it seemed to him complimenting a beautiful face like hers, and the bisected eyebrow with the silver ring didn't take away from her appeal. He made an okay sign with his fingers at the ground detail, and they went back to patrolling around the manor. He glanced at the catering van she'd come in.
"I remember you. What are you doing back here?"
"Look, Joey and me and the others, we were not at our best that day. We were all nervous. Usually I work as a hostess, and they work as waiters, and that was our first big gig. To make up for it, we brought luncheon. On us. Ham, roast beef, the works. Would you mind if I came in and sat down? I'm freezing. Not used to this weather. I'm a windy town girl."
"Sure." Russ closed the door, and watched her as she sat down on a chair in the Great Hall. She fished around in a beaded bag. "Hey, wait a minute. I want a look in that. Hand it over."
"You sure are suspicious," she laughed.
"Keeps my heart pumping." he grinned.
"Big place like this, I guess it needs people like you. Here."
Russ took the purse, and fished around in it with a finger. She suddenly tear gassed him with a lipstick size gadget concealed in her hand, and he yelled, and dropped the purse. She took off a shoe and hit him just as he was going for his .38. He yelled again, and the second blow felled him out cold.
* * *
Ed had frozen at Russell's first yell, and at the second, he raised himself up, ignored the crutches, grabbed Anne and went quickly as his injured leg permitted to the safe room, put her inside, grabbed a gun off the wall, wincing at the pain shooting up his hand. He hit a switch concealed in the wall. It would signal that he was under attack. He prayed Ford was responsive.
"Daddy, no! No, don't punish me again," she said desperately as he punched in the combination that closed the door, breaking his heart, but protecting the one thing in the manor he cared about. The painting swung into place, concealing the entrance. He pushed the gun in the back of his boxers, came back out into the hall, and saw two men and a woman hurrying up the stairs. He ducked back , his leg and wrist on fire. He grabbed the gun, but the pain was too bad, and he was not as skilled with left hand shooting, but he managed to fire off some warning shots until the gun was empty to buy time. No time to remove the silencer. There was no return fire. Where was Crane? God, was Crane out of it? He must be. There isn't any way in hell he'd be in on this attack. Had the outside detail been taken out as well? Damn, I need another weapon..yes..yes...
Ed hurried into Anne's room, grabbed a crutch, then his eye fell on something in Anne's art box which Perry had given her. Fixative.
As they came up into the room, he sprayed the first intruder right in the eyes, and he yelped. Ed wasted no time, he swung with the crutch, knocking the second off her feet. But the momentum took him down as well, and that was all the third invader needed. There was a sharp pain, and then oblivion.
"Fucker blinded me, he blinded me!"
"Oh can it, your glasses took the worst of it. Hurry up and help me get him to the cart. Ali, you okay?"
"I'm okay. He just knocked the wind out of me. I didn't expect him to fight back, in the cast and all. Hurry up, before that guy downstairs comes out of it. He saw me.."
"Doesn't matter with that wig and get up on. He won't find us. And by the time they pay the ransom, we'll be out of here. Look at the crayons. Kid must be around here somewhere."
"No time, we'll have to just take sleeping beauty here. Come on."
* * *
"My heavens, that's terrible. Claire, Stanley should have just told me, damn it!"
Claire widened her eyes at that phrase.
"I never knew you had it in you, Frances. Now for pity's sake can you please-" Claire's mobile rang. "Must be Edward, I promised I'd call him during the break, and I've been gabbing my lips off you practically all day. Straker."
"Mommie, mommie," Anne sobbed over the line, which kept fading in and out.
"Sweetheart, what's the matter?" Claire asked, her heart beginning to go cold with fear.
"Daddy locked me up cause I'm bad. I can't get out. Make Daddy take me out, please?"
"Honey," Claire said, her insides screaming, "Where are you locked up?"
"In the safer room you showed me for when bad things happen. I pushed your number like you said for me to."
"Where is Russell?"
"I don't know, but I heard him yell for Daddy, then Daddy locked me up." the child wept.
"Where is Daddy now?"
"I don't know, he won't answer me."
"Honey, I'm going to come right now, you just sit tight, I'm coming, and everything will be all right, okay? I'm coming." Claire cut off the connection and desperately dialed Shado on the secure number when the line to Silk Wood Manor didn't respond. "Richardson, this is Claire, get me Alec Freeman, it's an emergency. I don't care if he's out in the field, I don't care where he is, Edward's in trouble, now do what I say. No, I can't wait, DAMN YOU, no I don't want to..FORD! Get me Alec, NOW, please get me Alec now." Claire began sobbing.
"Claire, what the bloody hell is going on?"
"Please, Alec, please, Edward put Anne in the safe room and I don't know why. Something's wrong, I feel it, and he's helpless the way he is.."
"Claire, where are you?"
"At Frances' place."
"Stay there, I'll send a car for you."
"No fucking way, Alec! Frances and I are going to Silk Wood and I better see you there!" Claire hung up.
"What is going on?"
"Frances, do you know how to use Angel's gun?"
"Of course, I shoot patridges and quail and everything else, what's happened to your memory, child? I'll get my rifle. I'll drive, you're in no shape to."
"Oh thank God. Thank God. Please hurry, Frances!"
* * *
"Turn this mobile around. NOW. Commander Straker is in trouble."
"Colonel.."
"Have you forgotten I am acting commander of Shado, Jenkins? We have two other mobiles out here, and it's a milk run now that we've located the UFO's. I need to get back to Tetbury NOW."
"Sir, you misunderstand me. Omega isn't too far from here, and it's fast. And rumour has it you still know how to fly." Jenkins grinned a little. "Come on, I have the exact coordinates I landed at. Just take her below radar, put her on autopilot, and don't scrape her paint when you hit the ejection seat. Unless the idea of parachuting after all these years unnerves you?"
"Jenkins, you just made Colonel," Alec said grimly, as Jenkins brought the mobile to a stop, and the two of them scrambled out of it, and made for the landing field by foot. Jenkins marveled at how fast the Australian moved at the magic words 'Straker in trouble'
Alec pulled the visor down, told his stomach to stop doing cartwheels, and punched in the new information needed. They kept upgrading the damn things, and he hoped Jenkins was right. His arse hadn't graced anything that flew in a long time, especially not the new aircraft Omega Ed had assisted in designing. And boy, was Mir going to be pissed at being left behind. But Ed needed him. When had he ever not needed him?
Be all right, Ed, God damn you. Be all right.
But he couldn't resist an ecstatic YEEEHOO as his body reacted to the G-force as the plane married clear blue Welsh skies, and then headed for Tetbury. Jenkins, behind him, in the MIB position, grinned at hearing it over the earphones, and willed Straker to be all right too. God, of all the CO's she'd worked for in the RAF, not a one came close to the great white chief. He was the epitome of the word hot. And Alec, watching him like this, he wasn't anything to throw back into the lake either. Damn sexy. She'd put her combat boots under his bed any day.
* * *
"I'm okay, I'm okay." Russell said, as Claire checked him over. "I knew something was up with those bastards. Took Ed out right under the detail's noses, just put him under the cart and pushed it out with a cloth concealing him. Had to be. Right through the Grade 2 gates he hates so much. Right through-" Russell covered his mouth with his hand, overcome, and not wanting to cry. "Claire-"
"Russ, I know. I know. I know the esteem you hold my husband in, so you don't have to say anything."
"I would have taken a bullet for him or Mr. E. But she hit me with the tear gas. I wouldn't say they were professionals. At least that's what we have going for us. The video caught them. Prints all over the damn place." he said, watching New Scotland Yard personnel gathering evidence. But it still didn't feel right. And Alec parachuting in had just added to the feeling of being in one of Edward's Harlington Straker films. Evan was holding Anne, and comforting her, when he looked like he was the one needing it more than she did. At least Angel and Frances were seated rigidly on a couch, holding hands. It had taken this to bring them together. Alec and Ian were talking to one of the investigators who had carefully viewed the tape of the party, and of the kidnappers coming into the manor. Russell hugged Claire, and then went to talk to another detective, going over what had happened again.
Claire, unseen by anyone, went up the steps, and into their master bedroom. She opened the bathroom door, and reached into the hamper for one of Edward's shirts, still smelling of him. She sat on the edge of the toilet and sobbed into it. Then still clutching it, she rose up and went to Edward's desk, his inbox still full, abandoned after the accident. She wanted to be near his things, she thought. Oh God, Edward. At least our last moments together might have been happy ones, but I made you believe I was ignoring you. Ignoring you and your pain. Dear God, the last time you were kidnaped, oh God, no, not again, I couldn't stand it, please. Please not again.
Sobbing still, her eyes fell upon an envelope Edward had addressed, but not mailed nor sealed. It bore a Las Vegas Nevada address.
My God, pins and needles! Of course! He HAS to, he just has to!
Picking up Edward's address book, she searched for a number.
* * *
"You want to go where?"
"Does it matter, Jim? You keep telling me a vacation would be good for me."
"Spill, Gris."
"I have a case out in England I've been asked to assist with. I estimate it would take me a week at most."
"Since when do you estimate anything?"
"When I don't have the evidence in front of me, and it's necessary to guess."
"What kind of case?"
"Kidnapping, primarily. I hope it doesn't go any higher up the ladder than that."
"Wait a minute, is this related to that job you had involving that English guy who runs the foundation for kids?"
"He was a vic once. He is again. If we find him and he has additional trauma, I'm the person to help put Humpty Dumpty back together again. He trusts me. Or at least as much as he trusts anyone. We've stayed in touch with one another. We share an appreciation for the dying art of letter writing in the age of electronic mail. He's an interesting subject, Jim."
"Like one of your bugs?"
"If you mean is he a rare species, then yes." There was steel in Grissom's ordinarily calm tones, and it didn't go undetected by Brass.
"You said he was a vic before. What happened to him?"
"I honestly don't have time for this if I am going to get to McCarran International in time to catch the next earliest flight out."
"What happened to your friend?"
"I didn't say he was a friend."
"You didn't have to. So what went down?"
"I first met him when his girlfriend was kidnapped. He was kidnapped himself later by a couple of religious fanatical serial killers. He was held for just under a year. He was forced to witness murder after murder of innocent vics they captured. He had a dissociative disorder illness as a result of it, believing himself to be their son. I've worked with him through other incidents, like the murder of his best friend's daughter.."
"Come on."
"Come where?"
"To your townhouse, to get packed."
"I'm packed, Jim. I also took the liberty of bringing along my kit."
"I'll drive you to the airport."
"That isn't necessary."
"It is when I can call in my markers so I can drive with a motorcycle detail and my siren blazing to get us through noon traffic. And I can call the airport, delay any plane you want, and make sure a seat has your name on it." Brass said.
"This isn't official business, Jim."
"It is now. I'll make up something to tell Ecklie. I majored in ass kissing and minored in bullshit at college."
They grinned slightly at one another, and Jim Brass pulled out his cell phone and talked into it for a few minutes as they headed out to the parking lot and up to Brass' SUV after Grissom had retrieved his kit and overnight bag.. "Done. You just tell that moneyed friend of yours I want a goodies basket all to myself when this is over."
"I will."
"Good luck, Gil. I know you prefer hard science-"
"Believe me, Jim, in this case, I'll take the wish for good luck."
"I might transfer to street detail from homicide. Wear that uniform." Brass pointed to the waiting patrol officers on their bikes as he got behind the wheel.
"You? Why?" The CSI3 graveyard supervisor didn't hide his shock.
"I hear chicks like guys in tight pants."
"Just drive, Jim." Grissom said, exasperated but amused.
Brass grinned, and complied.
* * *
Several hours later, Gil Grissom shook hands with his equal at New Scotland Yard, and then headed back out to his hired Range Rover, with a thick file under his arm. His earlier interview with a terrified and remorseful head of the Meals Mobile catering service hadn't given him much to work with, he thought. Oh, he'd recognized the four people he'd unwisely hired without much thought to replace the usual employees, and given him their address. Ali Macklin, Joe Maxwell, Dave Mathers and Lenny Otis. Grissom had examined the rooms they shared, and hadn't been surprised to find evidence indicating that they had used disguises, and that they all had records for minor crimes. They had abandoned the company van and catering equipment they had stolen there. Two of Ed's hairs along with some of theirs had been found in the van, along with rotting food. Traffic tickets, petty shoplifting, getting into fights, and now kidnapping. Examination of their financial records had showed they were backed up against the wall. Large credit card balances, purchases that still had tags on them, porn hidden in pricey art books, a expensive stereo system and television. Vaginal secretion from the female and sperm from all three men on the bed. Watercolor and pencil sketches on the walls, done with some skill by the female, who had signed her work Ali M. Nothing in those rooms or in their fingerprints or in the tapes he'd viewed that had come from Silk Wood Manor's extensive security cam system had told him where they might be holding Ed Straker. But it did tell him they were desperate, and it did tell him they probably had dreamed up the whole scheme without much thinking it through. And desperate people sometimes did things like kill their captives.
He looked at the numerous photographs he'd taken. Something about one photograph suggested a glimmer of hope to him, and he drove back in the direction of Silk Wood Manor.
* * *
"They're going to kill me." Ed Straker said.
"Why do you keep saying that? I told you, as soon as we get the ransom, we're going to let you go. Here, I brought you some food. Milk and a peanut butter sandwich."
"I'm not hungry."
"You haven't eaten. You'll get sick."
Ed had been lying prone on a less than pristine bed, staring up at the cement ceiling, watching the progress of a spider that had spun a web, hoping to catch a fly. He knew he had been their captive three days, for he scratched the number of days into the bedpost he was chained to by his good wrist. Now he was the fly, and the spider was getting closer. Ed rolled painfully over, and sat up, as close to her as the chain allowed him to. Next to his bed was a bucket for a toilet. She winced.
"What's the matter? Forget what manure smells like? Unlikely, I'd think, since you and your friends are full of it."
"No. That isn't it, Ed." she answered, hurt in her voice.
Ed glowered at her.
"I told you. You may have me here in chains. Your friends out there may have worked me over, but by God, you aren't going to call me that. That's reserved for my friends, who are looking for me now. And when they find me dead, there will be no place in heaven or in hell that they can run to. So you remember that, Miss."
"That wasn't what bothered me, Mr. Straker. It was your face, and your body."
Ed remained silent.
"I'm sorry they hit you. All those horrible bruises."
"But that won't stop you from counting the money you think you'll be sharing with them."
"Why do you have to be like this? I've been decent to you." she exclaimed.
"Don't make yourself out to be the goody-two shoes. You killed my security man. God knows who else you killed."
"No! I just used the gas on him. Hit him. He had a gun. He's okay. I saw him on telly. With your friend that was there. Freeman something. There's a reward for any information leading to your recovery."
Thank God, Ed thought. He showed nothing of it on his face. It was the first bit of information he'd gotten since awakening after being hit, and then awakening after being beaten.
"I don't believe you."
"Look, I like you, okay? I really didn't want to do all this. It was Dave's idea. All I ever wanted was to be an artist. But I couldn't sell anything. Do you know what it's like to create something and have it rejected?"
"Forgive me if I fail to have any empathy for a kidnapper that will soon be an accessory to murder."
"I told you! They won't kill you. I won't let them."
"I know they are talking about it. You're a fool if you don't realize it. You're a fool if you don't know what's going on." Ed put urgency into his voice.
"You're trying to trick me."
"You spend more time looking in on me than you do with them. Why do you think they beat me so badly? They'd kill me, except that way they wouldn't get a pound. And they figure you're attracted to me, and that you'll screw everything up. I'm surprised they still allow you to empty the bucket, and bring me food. In time, they'll realise that my father and wife and friends will not pay you a penny. And then when that sinks in, they'll kill me. Then they'll kill you."
"Your friends and family wouldn't let that happen!"
"They know I would not negotiate with a kidnapper. I wouldn't want ransom paid for me. They wouldn't go against my wishes, no matter what they may feel for me." he said flatly.
"Not even your wife?" she said in astonishment.
Ed ignored the longing that arose in him at the thought of Claire. It hurt much worse than the pain from his injuries. He forced the memory of her departing out of his mind.
"Especially not her." he said firmly.
"I can't stand the thought of you being hurt any more."
"If you mean that, then allow me to go. You can say I overpowered you and escaped when you got too close. "
"I CAN'T, don't you understand?"
"Then watch me die." Ed replied. He laid back down, and watched the spider again. She let out a cry, dropped the tray on the floor, and ran out. One of the youths, one he had overheard her call Lenny, came into the room.
"You worthless fucker." he said. "You hurt Ali."
Ed ignored him, and tried to slow his heartbeat down. He knew what was coming. He tried to brace himself for the beating. The only advantage he had was he knew it would be brutal, but fast. The minute he passed out, the punk would lose interest in him. But nothing happened. Ed turned toward him. Lenny was picking up the tray, and cleaning up the mess. Then he walked toward Ed purposefully. He held something in his hand.
A large jagged shard from the shattered milk glass.
Ed closed his eyes slowly.
* * *
"Gil Grissom, Las Vegas Crime Lab. Mrs. Straker asked me to come here."
"Let's see some ID. Nice and slow. Unless you want your head blow off." Russell said.
"Russ, it's okay, I know him."
"Hi Alec. Where's Claire?"
"Getting some sleep. Millicent Nelson gave her a sedative. Psychiatrist, I think you know her. "
"I may have something." Gil tapped his file.
"Christ, Grissom, I hope so. What is it?"
"Think I could come in? This cold makes it hard to think, and I just rented a car and started in on the case. Haven't had all that much sleep, didn't get a hotel room when I got here. Coffee smells good."
"Of course. Gil, this is Russell Crane, Ed's bodyguard. Come in, sit down. Angel and Frances are in the kitchen. Man on the settee is Ed's father."
Gil came in, following Alec and Russell. He raised an eyebrow at Evan, who held a sleeping Anne, who in turn held on to a doll Ed had given her. Evan's eyes were reddened, and he looked as if he hadn't bothered to change in days. He just stared at nothing. Russell disappeared into the kitchen and came out with coffee and sandwiches for Grissom. He nodded his thanks.
"Alec, I don't understand. Ed wrote to me about Daniel shooting himself, being accused of killing Mary Rutland and her lover, I remember seeing it in the international press. But this man is Ed's real father?" Grissom whispered.
"Yeah. You want to make something of it? You go through me." Russell said.
"I wasn't suggesting an-"
"Then button your lip. He just found his son. Now, because of me, he lost him again."
"Oh for God's sake, Russell. Blaming yourself isn't going to help. It just reminds me of Edwar- Oh, Gil. When I didn't hear from you, I thought you weren't going to come." Claire said, coming down the stairs and moving into the snug, where most of them were gathered. Millie followed behind her.
"No different than her husband. I gave her a shot that would have brought down a charging rhino, and she's wide awake."
"Good. I may need her help."
"Who the hell are you?" a voice from behind Grissom demanded. Grissom turned to see a slim, scarred redhead in a red catsuit, one hand on her hips, staring at him. In the other, she held a squirming small toddler.
"The sheila with the attitude is my wife, Miriam Freeman." Alec said.
"Yeah, that's right, the one you decided to leave behind while you had all the fun. So you're a cop?"
"Crime scene investigator." Grissom explained.
"Any good?" Mir asked.
"That's what I hope this photograph will determine." Grissom responded.
"New Scotland Yard took pictures of the apartment in which they lived, Gil. We've seen all of them." sighed Claire, fighting fresh tears.
"Do any of these look familiar to you? I wasn't able to make a connection even with a brief stop at the local library."
"Paintings of a farmhouse?" Russell shrugged. "Who is Ali M?"
"Alicia Macklin. The creep that Russ said gassed him." Mir said. "Let me see that. I've been so pissed at Alec not allowing me to be a part of this that I really haven't looked at much of the evidence. Alec, you take your son for a change. I have seen these. She was peddling them at the art shop in Chelsea, not far from where they said her apartment she shared with those goons was. To think I thought she was an okay kid. I even bought one, but I threw it away. I wanted to be an artist once, too."
"That place, wait. Let me see it, please." Evan said politely. He gently lay Anne down on a chair. "I know it from somewhere. Why? Is it important?"
"If there were a bunch of these things in that cheap place of theirs, then maybe this place meant something to her. Maybe its where they might be-" Russell started to say.
"Oh my stars. It may be where Edward is. We have to find it!" Evan cried.
"You said you knew it from somewhere. Please try and remember, Mr. Straker. It may be vital." the CSI said urgently.
"Landing Farm! It was up for sale! It is just outside of Brighton. I was considering remodeling it as my studio for the gifts I design."
"I'm driving." Alec said.
"Not on your life, Alec, lad. It's time I did my part." Angel said, startling them. "We'll take my car."
"Shouldn't we send a police helicopter in or something?" Frances suggested, grabbing her and Angel's coats.
"No, Cupcake, if they suspect anything, they may kill Q-tip."
"Mir, you stay here and take care of Anne and baby Alec."
"Fat chance."
"Mir, luv, there's nobody else I trust with Ed's little girl and my son." Alec said gravely.
"Damn you, you manipulating Australian!" Mir yelled, but she did as she was told. "Alec, you better come back with that blond idiot of yours."
"I won't come back otherwise." Alec said, and those gathered knew he meant it. "Claire, we'll need fire-" Alec stopped, and grinned, as Claire already had run upstairs and gotten the necessary guns from the safe room, and handed them around. Grissom reluctantly took one. Claire slung her medical kit in a backpack, slid it over one arm, and checked the bullets in her own gun.
"Mommie, are you coming back?" Anne asked sleepily.
"Yes, little princess. We're going to get Daddy, and bring him home safe. I promise. Go on with Mir up to your room now, and play with Aleckins."
"Aleckins?" Mir grinned at Claire.
"Mommie, he won't lock me up again, will he?"
"He did that to keep you safe." Grissom said.
"Are you his friend?"
"Yes, and he told me in a letter that he loved you and Claire so much he felt his heart might burst. Now the best thing you can do to help is to go up there and be brave for him."
"Are bad people hurting him?"
"No." Evan said.
"Possibly. We will go and stop them if they are." Grissom corrected Evan.
"Okay. Bring him home so he can colour with me." Anne said tearfully, then she ran upstairs with Mir.
"Mr. Grissom," Evan began, as angry as Russell had ever seen him.
"Mr. Straker, children know far more than we adults give them credit for. I don't know if you've had the time to go over Ed's psychological or medical history, but he was a victim of crime long enough to fall into an abyss. If we even find him alive, it is going to take time for all of us to help him heal from this fresh experience. Pretending that nothing is wrong is not the way to proceed. We need to expect the unexpected, we need to not be afraid of the abyss."
"We have to find my child alive, do you understand? We have to. We have to."
"Mr. E, that kid of there needs her coloring pal back. We have to go. Maybe you better-"
Evan reached underneath his jacket and pulled out Edward's glock as a reply. Russell grinned, and they all went out.
***
"Ed? Oh, Ed."
"Just..go..away."
"Oh shit, he cut your face, your face. Oh fuck. I came in, to say I was sorry."
"I told you...he wants me..dead.."
"Oh shit, all the blood. Oh I don't want you hurt anymore. I brought you something."
"Just...go..."
"But I drew you. I drew you in the van, when you were unconscious."
"You don't..understand....I'm bleeding..."
"Oh shit shit shit, your face. I used to look at your face while you slept."
"Please...if you...if you..have any..let..me go.."
"I can't, don't you understand, I can't...just let me show you the drawings. I'm good, I really am. And you're so beautiful."
"Just let me...feel the air...just one time..please..I don't..remember...what it...feels like..."
"Ed please, just look at the drawings."
"Oh God..help me..don't let me die..."
"Don't say that!"
"I'm dying....alone...Claire..Anne..princess...Alec..."
"Stop it! Stop it."
Ed slowly pushed himself up with the chain. He was covered with blood, it seemed to be everywhere. His face was crisscrossed with slashes.
"Don't let.. me bleed to.. death..please..." he whispered, and fell sideways onto the bed, falling on the chain, gasping.
"You aren't bleeding to death. He swore he didn't cut you that bad. I couldn't bring myself in here to see. I knew he had to punish you."
"Help me. They're.. burying.. me. Help me!"
"You aren't making any sense, Ed. You're scaring me. Look at me, please. Look at my drawings. Please. Tell me they are good. I need you to look at me. You're so beautiful."
"The paintings are nice...yes.."
"Tell me I'm beautiful. I need someone like you to tell me I'm beautiful."
"I can't see anything...oh God..oh God..."
"I have the key, Ed. To your chain. I can bring you outside. I can make you free."
"No...they'd hurt you..Alicia.."
"You said my name. You said my name. Once I read about Stockholm syndrome. The captive identifies with his captors. I wished for it to happen with you. I'll set you free, Ed."
"I'm gone..."
"Ed, don't say that. Ed?"
He did not respond. Then his body stiffened, he gave a long gasp, and he went still again.
"Ed?" she called into the silence.
* * *
"I'm going to kill her." Evan whispered.. Russell, at his side in the crowded car, stared at him.
"Mr. E?"
"She knew. She knew and let him be hurt like that. I've never killed anyone in my life. I'm going to kill her."
"Evan,lad, there are laws against killing. The Lord teaches forgiveness." Angel said.
"The same Lord that took your church from you?" Frances asked angrily.
"I've come to understand it was His will. But what I cannot accept is losing you, Cupcake."
"You haven't lost me. I don't want this divorce anymore than you do, Stanley Mitchell Brisby."
"We're almost there, according to Mr. Straker's directions." Grissom said.
"What are you talking about, Mr. E?"
"I don't know," Evan said wearily, slumping against Russell. "I just want to see my son."
Russell took his hand protectively.
"I want to see my husband." Claire said suddenly.
"Even if the abyss has already taken him?"
"Gil, do you really have to ask me that?" Claire said, tears falling down her cheeks.
"No," Gil said quietly. "I know you'd follow him in there."
"So would you." Alec commented. Gil Grissom looked at him.
"If only to pull all three of you out." Grissom replied.
"Who is the third person?" Alec asked, looking straight ahead.
"Alec," Grissom said, with a sad smile, "do you really have to ask me that?"
"Grissom, no abyss will stop me from bringing him back where he belongs," Alec said.
"This is the place. Just ahead." Evan said. "And not that it matters, but I'll go anywhere to find my son too,"
"And I'll be with Mr. E." Russell added.
"Let's go." Angel said.
* * *
"Ed?"
Nothing.
She jumped up and ran to the bed, and bent over him. That was when he rose up, and in one deft move, wrapped the chain around her neck, and strangled her until she was dead. Then he allowed her body to fall across the bed. He searched her, tearing off every last scrap of clothing she had on.
Nothing.
No key.
He sobbed.
When there were no more tears to cry, he looked around. He did not think anything. He did not feel anything. His eyes went to her body again. She had the ring in her eyebrow. He reached for it, and pulled it out. He screwed off the connector, and tried for a few times to insert it in one of the screws holding the bedpost together. It fell, and rolled beyond his reach. He looked at her again. Shoes. Her shoes. The heel had a metal spike in it. With a lot of difficulty using his injured wrist, he managed to pull it out with both hands. The edge fitted into the screw, barely. But it revolved. He would get away. He wouldn't have to hear the screams, or see the bodies. He would get away. He twisted the screws around and around. Nothing existed for him but the screws. And after a while, the bedpost pulled away, and he lifted it. Suddenly he felt himself give in again to the exhaustion, and he lay back on the bed, holding the precious bedpost he was chained to. He needed to sleep. Sleep. She was dead. Dead, without her sins washed away. He had needed punishment. No, yes..he couldn't think. Air, yes, he needed air, and all he had to do was go through the door. But they were out there, and they'd kill him. Weapon, he needed a weapon. He felt the heft of the bedpost. It would have to do. He could hardly move. He'd used up all the adrenalin in his system, and something he didn't understand was making him move. So he did.
He wasn't prepared for what was outside the door.
The two youths were there, now corpses. One of them had an look of disbelief, but more importantly, a object in his back. It had been driven almost all the way in. The other was just as dead, his head beat in. But the one that had mutilated his face was not there. Ed tightened his grip on the bedpost he was fastened to, the chain dangling underneath it. Slowly, carefully, he made his way through the building. Then he stopped. Near the door, he could see a spider's web. A fly was struggling in it. He stopped, and let the bedpost and chain dangle, as he painstakingly drew away the threads that bound it. It gave a jerk, and then flew away.
He smiled.
That was when something came down hard on his legs, and he dropped to the ground, half blinded with agony. He felt fresh, unbelievable pain as the assailant kicked him in his good leg. He tried to raise himself up, to crawl away. Then there was a gunshot, thundering in his head, and he fought not to pass out.
Frances Brisby lowered her rifle as the astonished youth beating Ed Straker, a youth now with a hole in his middle, sunk like a stone. They entered, and Angel looked grimly at Ed and the youth, but then smiled at Frances. With a gasp, Claire ran to her husband. He was still trying to raise himself up when he turned toward her. She bit down, almost through her lip, when she saw his face. She pulled out her mobile and called for an ambulance.
Alec, no more than inches away from her, took in the look of Ed and started emptying his pistol into the dead youth.
"Alec, easy, easy, he's beyond revenge now." Russell intoned, looking like he too wished the bastard would come alive just in time for him to beat his head in. Claire was desperately pulling her backpack off her shoulder, to get bandages, to get medicine from her medical bag. Ed was moaning.
Grissom was pulling on latex gloves from a pouch in his pants pocket, as he accompanied Russell, who moved through the farmhouse like a lithe cat, his gun drawn. They exchanged brief looks at the bodies, stepped over them, and finally just stared at the naked woman. Not far from her was a sketchbook. Some drawings in it had fallen out. Russell saw the subject of one and clenched his teeth together. Grissom withdrew a second sealed packet of bindles and a pair of tweezers from his kit, concentrating as always on the evidence, but seeing Ed Straker's bloodied face.
"My boy, my boy, my boy." Evan muttered, looking as if he might pass out. "Look at what they did to his face."
"Evan, not now." Claire said sternly, examining Ed in a professional manner as if she didn't know him. She prepared a hypo and injected him with it. He yelped, and pulled away. "Edward, it's all right, I'm here. You're safe. I love you." she told him gently, her professionalism fading like old newspaper.
"Is he going to live?" Alec said, clearly believing he wouldn't, and his face showing it.
"No key." Ed muttered. Then he passed out.
* * *
"Hi."
"Hi. I see Alec snuck some coffee in for you."
"I thought I hid the evidence better than that. You must be picking CSI tips up from Grissom. Has my Dad stopped crying?"
"He stops for five minutes or so when Russell's around, then he starts up again. How do you feel, darling?"
"Pretty numb from all the sedation. Claire, when do the bandages come off? I feel like a mummy."
"There's never been a mummy as attractive as you are."
Ed smiled, tightening his grip on her hand. He had finally woken up again, and when at all possible, she had not let go of him, nor he her.
"Good bedside manner. Reassure the patient. I guess it rolls off the tongue by now."
"Ed, really. How are you? Grissom and Millie say you haven't really talked about what happened."
"I told you everything I remembered."
"No, you told me everything you wanted me to know that would reassure all of us."
"Claire, please. Let's not get into it. Not right now."
"You know what Grissom said about the abyss."
"Grissom's a strange guy. I can't believe he dropped everything and came out here. I keep telling you, he's got a crush on you."
"He's fond of you. And he confessed things aren't going all that great back in Nevada."
"Yes, I recall he said something about the guy in charge breaking up his team. Bastard. He also said I owe his homicide captain friend a gift hamper all to himself. Apparently all the stuff I sent went over well. They must starve CSI's down there or something. He still has the glowworm I sent him. Speaking of hampers, what did you bring me?"
"Well, I don't know if I should show it to you. It's pretty pathetic. Something I made for you in the brief time I was home, and you were unconscious with Russell and Alec fighting over guarding you." She grinned. He chucked, nodded. "You'll have to let go of me to-oh Edward." She saw the pain in his starlingly blue eyes, set off by the flesh colored bandages on his face.
"I can't. And I can't sleep when staff doesn't knock me out. I dream. And I don't like what I dream. I know that something is coming up, no matter how much I want to choke it down, like when you try not to vomit, something ugly."
"Edward, do you know that Frances and Angel are back together, and that Frances pushed aside Alec and made mincemeat of Lenny Otis?"
"He's the one that cut me. Claire-"
"Yes sweetheart?"
"My face. Am I going to wind up like Miriam?" he inquired in a whisper of fear.
"Edward, since she had her surgeries, treatment has changed. If you have any scars at all, they'll fade with time, and they won't even be that visible while they heal. Dr. Harrison did the plastic surgery, and he's the best in England. He's probably one of the best in the world. That son of a bitch Otis didn't cut you so deep that you'd bleed out. He just wanted to scare and disfigure you."
"He managed that much." Ed retorted bitterly.
"Oh God, Edward!"
"Claire, please, don't you break down too. I had to contend with my Dad, and what was worse was Alec, who was trying to be brave and not upset me with his feelings. He said he did a stupid thing because Frances beat him to the kill. Frances isn't exactly in the bloom of youth, and she beat all the bigger, stronger men to the farmhouse. Alec felt pretty lousy about it." Ed grinned. "But I understand she wanted to make it up to me, and to Angel, rescuing his Q-tip for him single-handedly. Wasn't very Christian of her, Alec said."
Claire chuckled, wiping away her tears with a corner of the sheet with the Mayland Hospital logo.
"Edward, Frances' rifle made a tunnel a mole could get giddy over in Otis when she saw him kicking you, but Alec just kept firing into him anyway when he saw what he'd done to you."
"I would have done the same thing. Only I would have taken the glass he used, and carved his face - well, anyway, Grissom told me about..things."
"What things?"
"What's in the basket? Smells like cake. Come on, Claire, there's only so much gelatin a guy can eat. I'm starving. Did Frances make me a lemon drizzle cake?"
Claire curled her lip inward.
"Not exactly." she said and fished in the basket, bringing out a cake container. She opened it.
"Christ almighty. It looks worse than I do. "
"That isn't funny, Edward Straker. I'm better at cleaning out my husband's wounds than I am cake baking and you know it."
"YOU made this culinary mess?"
"For that remark, I'm keeping you in this hospital longer." she replied, pretending to be cross and failing. "It sort of slid in the baking process." she giggled.
"Well, let's taste it. Just because it looks like the leaning tower of Pisa doesn't mean it tastes like it. Anyway, I can see you used the best of ingredients. Sugar, eggs, quick drying cement..ow!" he cried when she playfully hit him gently on the shoulder, and then tore off a little piece and put it in his mouth and sat back and watched him chew.
"Well? And remember, your discharge out of here depends on how good you lie to me." Claire teased.
"That wasn't enough to tell by. Give me another piece."
"Don't be greedy."
"Are you going to feed me, or do I have to put myself at the mercy of Alec? Now I know anything he baked would make me an instant alcoholic. That is, if it were even edible."
"I feel like a mother bird."
"Don't even think about regurgitating, Mom," he complained. She laughed and fed him another bit, and his tongue lingered on her finger, licking it. They looked longingly at one another, and he held her hand.
"Edward, you're taking the expression 'bedside manner' a bit too far. What happened to all the foolishness about being old and useless?"
"I decided I didn't want to die." he said after a moment, his eyes filling with tears.
"Edward, I will never stop loving you. Even if after I remove the bandages, and you came out looking like this cake.."
"God." he replied, half laughing, half crying, holding on to her. "Don't ever let me go, Claire. No matter how hard I pull away, and fight, and be a pain in the ass. I need you so much. You're the air I breathe. I love you. I need you. I'm-"
She waited, stroking his fine wavy hair with her free hand, some part of her hoping he didn't notice how long it had grown so he wouldn't have it cut into the helmet-like style he'd once worn.
"I'm frightened. I'm so frightened."
"You're the man that I love, and that your friends treasure. No matter what the abyss may stir, Edward. You hold on to me, but you hold on to that, too."
"I'm terrified of the dreams I've had, and the dreams to come," he said, leaning against her, stroking her hair, wishing he could feel it against his face. He could smell her, he could feel her, but he wanted her, wanted her, longed for her. He would have taken her there, without a care in the world, and he didn't know why.
"I won't let you go."
"I want you to let me go." he said urgently.
"Edward Straker."
"Out of here, that is, Doc." he smiled. "I want to go home. Somebody's got to decorate that tree."
"I hope you're better at decorating than I am cake baking."
"Oh I rate in it about the same as I do coloring." he chuckled. She made a face at him.
"Okay. Let me go write up the papers. I'll send both Alec and Russell in here to help you get ready. No way am I choosing who gets to help you." she grinned, kissing him.
"Tell Dad to come in too, it will give him something to do besides cry."
"I'll be back."
And so will the dreams, he thought, worried.
The end (to be continued in next story )
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