Dedicated to Carly Ward, (the Sloane Ranger ) for reasons I won't go into--and Julie, because her job is driving her nuts.
As always a very special dedication to Commander Edward Straker, who actually can recite Invictus by rote. Or so he tells me. I think after all these years he peeks. He also informed me he wasn't quite as brave as I sometimes portray him to be. Judge for yourself. No matter. It hasn't changed my opinion of him any.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.
His mobile phone rang, interrupting his supper in the cafeteria and he took it out of his pocket.
"Dr. Stevenson."
"Barry, love, I'm still caught up in traffic, make sure no one else comes anywhere near that body. Somewhere in that body lies the key to youth, and I'm going to find it."
"You better hurry up then. Colonel Freeman left strict orders for post mortem before decomposition set in."
"He can have his post mortem, I'll do it, I want that body. What the aliens failed to do, I'm sure I can succeed at. Then I can get out of this job for good. Have you got any idea how much money I could make as the scientist who could sell eternal youth in a jar of cream? Do you know how much my little nips here and tucks there cost me?"
"I don't think Straker would much care for your dreams of being the next cosmetic billionaire, Cheryl. I think he'd be more concerned about killing what was growing in him." he said, lowering his voice and looking nervously around to see if anyone was listening, but the cafeteria was deserted except for a few techs.
"I'm going to be drilling into his skull and sectioning his brains up, I doubt what he thinks makes any difference now, Barry." she laughed. He joined in the laughter a little nervously. God, Kincaid was such a bitch, but it was part of her charm. He couldn't understand how someone as devious as she was managed to pass the psychological profiling that was part of criteria for Shado. She'd even charmed Folsade, and Folsade was a human bullshit detector. It didn't matter. All he needed to know was how much money they'd eventually make together, and how hot she was in bed. If only her figure matched her face, which was beginning to show the wear and tear of her obsession with being forever young. Well, that was what spending your life bent over Petri dishes did to a woman, I suppose. No wonder she's obsessed with cosmetics and plastic surgery.
"I snuck a look at him. I'd only seen him from far away. Hard to believe he is the legendary Straker that everyone got so worked up about."
"You've got him in a body bag on ice, right?"
"Yeah. He's secure. We still haven't figured out how we're going to smuggle any of the bacteria to your personal lab. They're going to want Straker's remains cremated, you know. And are you sure that bacteria isn't dangerous?"
"Darling, this is the only way. I've been working on Straker's blood samples that Folsade supplied me with. But the bacteria keeps mutating so rapidly that it isn't enough. And even in living tissue culture they don't survive long enough for me to get my teeth into."
"I thought nothing could kill them."
"Oh they die off quickly enough without anything to sustain them enough to multiply."
"Well hurry up and get here, waiting is making me nervous. It won't take Freeman long to demand a report."
"Freeman. Now there's someone who could use plastic surgery." she laughed sharply. "See you soon, love."
"It just isn't possible, Stanley."
Alec had stepped into the hall, seeking the relative privacy there, and Angel had come quietly up without saying a word.
"Alec, mate, how are you doing? I know this must be hell for you." Angel said quietly. Both men had reddened eyes. Angel laid his hand gently on Alec's arm.
"I'll be okay. Look over at Margaret, sitting there, she has to be out of her mind with grief, but she's comforting everyone else. She lost her father and her husband on the same day. The others need you more, Stanley. I'm holding up. I'll hold up for his sake."
"Alec, Lily and Ryoko spoke to me, they asked me to ask you if they could accompany me to the morgue and offer prayers over his remains. Shinto, Wiccan, Anglican. Margaret said that she thinks Ed would like that. Besides, Alec, you know that they have to deal with his death, accept it and it's a good way."
"Yes, it is. I think it's a blessing that all of us will remember Ed as he was, instead of having to witness what death did to him. Yes. I'm going to hospital to collect the post mortem, and they can come. I just need to get a grip, you understand? I wanted a few minutes alone. It just doesn't seem possible that I'll never see him again."
"I wasn't able to give Q-tip the last rites, and it's bothering me. Not that I'm worried that God wouldn't take Q-tip's soul to paradise. Q-tip was a genuinely good man. There was almost a sacred quality about him. A sense that the Lord had entrusted him with a great responsibility, and he'd borne the burden gladly."
"If you'd ever said to his face that he had a sacred quality, he would have told you to go straight to hell. With all due respect, that is, Reverend." Alec chuckled softly. "I know what you mean. Yes, he was a genuinely good man. A kind man. Hard, but never unfair. Sacred? I suppose Ed carried the woes of the world like Christ carried the cross. I never knew Ed to ever ask that the bitter cup be passed from his lips. Ed as martyr, hell yes. It was funny, Stanley, nobody seemed more capable of miracles than Ed, there was a quality to him, yeah, I guess saint like, sacred if you will, isn't all that far from truth when it comes to describing him."
"He was a hero, Alec. The kind of person that inspires novels. I'm not surprised that Neil made up stories about him. He'd be very easy to write stories about. In the camp, when they were torturing him, I could hear him screaming. I couldn't do anything but pray for him and my mates, and when they took him back to his cell, I'd use the tap code to see how he was holding up, and he told me he'd gladly die before he'd let them break him. He taught me a poem about human determination, and I never forgot it. Q-tip said it was one of his favourites."
"Invictus." Alec nodded.
"You know." Angel smiled.
"I've known Ed forever, Stanley. Of course I'd know." Alec pressed his lips together in grief, allowing fresh tears to roll down his weathered, pockmarked face again. He swallowed, took a deep breath. Then Alec began to recite the words, all too aware that he could not speak them as forcefully and as melodically as Ed's vibrant voice had been capable of. Now that voice, which no living soul could ignore without consequences, was eternally stilled.
"Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul."
"Horse piss, Alec." Maggie said softly. She'd quietly come up and caught part of their conversation. "He never told me that. I can't remember him ever talking to me about poetry, although there was plenty of it around his place. He owned a lot of books, some first editions. You're welcome to anything you want that was his."
"I will take you up on that offer. I see you already claimed what you wanted." Alec pointed out.
"What do you mean?"
"His wristwatch."
Maggie's eyes were drawn to the Swiss wristwatch, then she spoke hesitantly.
"He hardly ever took it off, he slept with it. Wearing it makes me feel like he's still here. But Alec, if you'd like it, I know that there's nothing Ed would deny you--"
"Mags, have you ever looked at the inscription on it?" Alec smiled.
"I didn't even know there was one." She unbuckled the watch band and turned it over.
To Ed from Alec 6-11-80
"You gave it to him." Maggie sadly smiled.
"On the momentous occasion of his fortieth birthday. Not long before he took over the studio. Cost me quite a bundle, too, and I let him know it. He drolly acknowledged my great sacrifice, and promised me he'd never let it out of his sight. Ed was quite touched that someone had remembered his birthday, and I was really glad he liked it. I guess you know Ed was sentimental about gifts people gave him, and he got a lot of pleasure from mementos. He'd keep the oddest things. Naturally he'd keep anything Johnny gave him. Lily stole a handkerchief that Mary had given him as a wedding present. He was quite upset when he couldn't find it. She probably still has it. Probably kept it. Our Ed Straker was secretly just a sentimental old fool."
"Alec, oh God, how are we supposed to carry on without him around? Horsepiss, I promised myself I wouldn't cry. I've cried my eyes out and screamed until my throat was raw. Angel, I can't say I personally believe in all that religious clap trap, but I know Ed was a man of faith. Ed was Christian, more open-minded than most Christians, no insult intended, Angel, really, but I've never found anything admirable about anything Christian. Please, take Ryoko and Lily and go say prayers for him. Please. I'd like to pray for him, but I can't."
"I confess I was surprised when you asked me to get in touch with Lily. Last time you two were together, you flung her on her arse," Alec mentioned with a trace of irony.
"She's a little flaky, and obsessed with herself and all that hocus pocus, but she did care for Ed, and she did force him to confront what happened in Vietnam. If she hadn't, he would never have found Angel again. I just don't understand how she could walk out on him like that and have no remorse. I asked her, and she just said she wasn't the one that was supposed to be in his life, and I was, and that she hadn't seen it. She told me she always had a problem with jealousy, and that she just didn't trust him. What an idiot. Oh yes I know she's supposed to have brought him back to life, and she disobeyed her laws or something. But she hurt Ed so bad. Ed would talk about Flora, and he never even saw her. It didn't matter. He was so excited over being a father, and she took that all away from him. And then she walked out when he was so sick. I can't understand anyone being that selfish. Ed's death has really hit her, though, and Ryoko too. Grandmother said she can't believe she never dreamed about all this, and Lily said she doesn't understand the cards. What does it matter? We've lost Ed." Maggie clutched the wristwatch and sobbed.
"Margaret, child, we've not lost him. He's in the hands of God now, free of pain and completely at peace. We will all see him again when it's our time to go home to the good Lord. Now Alec and I better leave. Get Lily and Ryoko, won't you, dear? I'll get my prayer book and cassock."
Cold, cold, cold. A cold so relentless, it burned. Something hard against his back, a throbbing sensation all over his body. Grey, everything seemed grey. Tired, tired, God, had he ever been this tired in all his life? What the blazes had happened? And where the blazes was he? Odd smell he couldn't put his finger on. Difficult to breathe. Must be in an oxygen tent. That's got to be it. Yes, yes, I was in the car, or was I? What happened? Alec. Alec was there. Maggie, she was there. That godawful pain in his gut. Then blacking out. Why wasn't he in the intensive care ward? He'd had all he could stand of the convulsions, the seizures. By God, he wasn't going to lie back and let the damn bacteria get the best of him. Focus. Need to focus. Open the eyes. Didn't make sense. Everything was grey. Christ, was he paralysed? Blinded? Hard to think. And the damn cold. Focus. Focus. Open your eyes. Plastic. That's plastic I smell. What the hell is that? Zipper? Oxygen tent, has to be. He stirred, and raised his head. Shock engulfed him. He was inside something, but it wasn't an oxygen tent. Body bag. They'd put him in a body bag. He screamed and struggled against it with every fibre of his body, and then with a bone chilling thump, a loud crash and a brief, burning pain in his arm, he was on the floor. He writhed and pounded at it, and screamed again, and began to hyperventilate. No. No. Stay calm. Concentrate. Stay calm. Zipper. Got to pry it open. God help me. Oh God help me. I can't breathe! I'm being crushed! No. No. Keep going. You can do this. No! No! I can't move it. I can't die like this! I'm going to get out of here. One. Two. Three. He lunged against the fabric with his entire body using all his strength. There was a loud rip and then whiteness came through the grey and he was free! He gasped for what little air there was in the room, with its white tiles and its nauseating antiseptic smell. Horrified, he ripped the rest of it off himself, kicked it away and crawled into a corner, the cold burning into his naked flesh, but he didn't care, he was free! A stainless steel trolley had been knocked onto the ground, and he realised with a sickening feeling he must have been on it, trapped in the vinyl body bag. He began to retch, but he pulled himself up and stumbled to the door and grabbed the handle, clenching his teeth against the way it burned his hands. He pushed it. Nothing happened. He'd been locked in there. He pounded on the door as hard as he could.
"ALLLLLLLLLECCCCCCCC!!"
There was no response, he could hear nothing but the slight hum of the refrigerator unit. The overhead fluorescent light flickered on and off. He spun, looking desperately around for something to use to signal someone, anyone, that he needed help. He grabbed the trolley and stood it on end, and rammed the door with it. Nothing. He threw it across the room in anger. The cold was beginning to be unbearable. The exhaustion was beginning to overtake him again. Reluctantly, he gathered up what was left of the body bag and wrapped it around him. It was a laughable choice of protection against the cold. Dear God. I'm going to die in here. They've left me here to die. He dropped the pieces of the body bag and dug the nails of one hand into his arm to try and keep calm. They left thin welts in his skin. Of course. I have that. I at least have that. And he began to painstakingly scratch letters into his skin, it seemed to take an eternity. The letters formed the word help. When he was finished, he moved back and forth, swinging his arms, stretching, bending, yelling, pacing. But he tired easily of that, and with a muffled sob, slid down one wall onto the floor, and grasped his knees, trying to get warm. Merrily we roll along, roll along-- roll along--no, ride a fine horse to Banbury Cross? Sing. I need to sing. Like a bridge over troubled water--Maggie? Maggie? Help me. Oh God help me. Got to think. Got to get up. Sleepy. So sleepy. Have to rest. Just a while. Just for a few minutes. I'm so sorry Devon. I'm sick, I can't keep you with me. Lily. Lily, with her strange notions. Devon psychic. Supposed to have some sort of sight. Said I was too. What good has it done me? Need to sleep. No, can't. Hypothermia. They taught us about it in survival training in the service. Got to get up. Can't sleep. Symptoms. Symptoms. What were the damn symptoms? Get up, get up, move around. Why have they done this? How could they leave me alone like this? Alec, please help me! Alec, please, please! All right. All right. That's it. Get up. Inch at a time. Alec, please, help me, you have to help me. You've got to hear me. Damn you, he sobbed, you have to hear me. I can't do this alone. ALECCCCCCCCC!
He slid down and began to rock himself. Words he didn't quite recognise came to his head. It was strangely comforting to say them aloud. A stanza from some poem he knew by heart.
"Beyond this place of wrath and tears, looms but the horror of the shade, and yet the menace of the years finds, and shall find, me unafraid."
He shook his head and sobbed brokenly. But I am afraid. I am! I am! I'm afraid, Alec. Please help me. Please help me, don't let me go. Alec, I can't hang on. Alec, can you hear me? Please hear me, for the love of God hear me.
His fingers moved painfully to where his wristwatch should have been, but it wasn't there. His pitiful cry mingled with the hum of the refrigeration unit that was slowly but surely robbing him of life. He rocked, and wept.
The fluorescent light above his head blinked slower, and began to get dim. After a minute or two, it went off, robbing the room of light. Below, Ed Straker lie on the sterile white tiles, curled up into an embryonic ball, and the darkness overtook his mind as well.
"What is wrong, Alec?"
"Nothing, why?"
"You're shivering, like you're cold."
"I suppose so, Lily, must be the strain." Suddenly Alec gave a little gasp.
"Alec?" Angel inquired, worried.
"You're going to think I've lost my mind."
"Alec, mate, you're one of the most sane persons I know. What's wrong?"
"I heard him."
"You heard who?"
"Him." Alec said in irritation. "Ed. I heard him say my name."
"Alec, naturally I'm no psychologist, that's Margaret's department. But I'd say you're hearing what you want to hear."
Alec sighed. "You're probably right."
"No. Not right. You heard him. He is trying to reach you. I know it." Ryoko insisted. "I feel it, Alec sama."
"My sister in the Goddess is right. My Edward wants you. But I cannot see why. Shit! I am losing the gift. That is the price I paid for disobeying the rede to suit me. I didn't even celebrate Ostara sky clad." lamented the petite witch
"Ostara? What's that?" Angel asked.
"What you call spring equinox. We celebrate the Goddess becoming a maiden again, we celebrate renewal of the earth, awakening, new life. I have not practiced the craft, I have not written in my book of shadows. That must be why the same thing appears again and again in the cards." Lily groaned. "I have lost the gift. The Goddess has seen fit to take it away from me I must accept the will of the Goddess, who has taken Edward to her bosom. He was always her beloved. You had only to look at him to know this. She blessed him in many ways."
"Hai. He is beloved of the Goddess Amaterasu. Edward-sami is sacred to her. He has been born and died many times. I did not understand why his mortal end had not been shown to me, so I prayed, and asked to be granted a dream. I dreamed of my daughter Miyako, she told me that he brought her much honor in his fight with the demon Fielding. So Miyako became a kami, and begged the Goddess to spare his life, and Amaterasu so loved him she agreed. Amaterasu spoke to Edward, a great honor, and told him she would bring him back from the realm of darkness. That is why he is not kami, Lily. He remains in the realm between the worlds. And now Alec-sami has heard his cry, and karma will be done." Ryoko said. Alec looked at her curiously, but said nothing.
"I am the last one who should be asking this Lily, but I'm guessing you meant the tarot cards? What are you seeing?" Angel said, as the four of them walked across the parking lot to the casuality entrance of Mayland Hospital and went inside.
"I have been looking to see if Ed is in the realm beyond this life. I wanted to know if he truly took his place beside her as one of her sacred children," Lily explained, "But Ryoko's words come from the Goddess' lips. Edward seeks you."
"Lily, look, I'm not spiritual. You know I'd do anything for him. But Stanley's right. I'm hearing his voice because that's what I want. What we all want. I'ts human nature. My mind is playing tricks on me because of my grief. Come on, morgue's this way. Lily, Ryoko, you stay here. As soon as I get the post mortem, and know his body's presentable, I'll let you know."
"I am not a little weak flower, Alec. Do not be so stupid as to think that I would pass out if I saw something. I have seen dead people before." Lily said indignantly.
"Hai. We go with Reverend Brisby."
"Just what we needed, two representatives of women's rights." smiled Angel.
"All right, suit yourselves." He led them into the morgue. A doctor was washing blood off one of the stainless steel examination tables, and another was writing something in a file. Alec and his small group approached him.
"Excuse me. I'm Alec Freeman, I'm waiting for the post mortem on Ed Straker. Where are his remains?"
"I'm sorry, I just came on duty, I'm Doctor Theberge, let me check the board. Okay, I see that we got the call last night, and that an ambulance brought his body in. But there's no record of a post mortem being made. Let me check if his body is in storage." He led them to a adjoining room in which several compartments for the dead, resembling oversized file cabinet drawers, were labeled with printed cards. "That's odd. Nothing under S at all. Was there anything abnormal about the death?"
"Bacterial infection."
"That explains it, he might be in the smaller area we have for contagious bodies. Dr. Stevenson, he works on Dr. Kincaid's staff, is on duty tonight. Right this way. Well now that's strange. Nobody's here. I'll have him paged." Theberge punched a button on the comm system, put in a page to the operator, and then he nodded as they heard someone request Stevenson over the P. A. system. "That should take care of it. Did you want to pay respects to the body?"
"I gave strict orders for immediate post mortem. Something fishy is going on here. Yes, open it up, I want to view my friend's body."
"No problem, let me get you and your companions out some sterile gowns, caps, visors, shoes covers, gloves and masks, and I'll get the pass card for cyrogenic storage. Here, put these on, and come and get me when you're ready. I'm almost finished with my report."
"Thanks, Doctor, I appreciate it."
"No problem, Mr. Freeman, a lot of us will remember Mr. Straker. And why not? He funded most of the equipment and new annex for this hospital. And the money's been coming in to that Edward Straker Memorial Fund that you and Dr. Folsade set up. I'll be right back for you."
"Why do we have to wear these stupid things? They are horrid." Lily complained, staring at a green surgical smock. "And this cap will flatten my beautiful hair and I just had it done!"
"Just put it on and shut up Lily." Alec said harshly, pulling the smock over his suit.
Lily muttered to herself and helped Ryoko, who was a bit slower, put hers on.
"You and Yetunde started a fund for Q-tip?" Angel asked his fellow Australian, pulling on gloves. He wore his cassock, clerical collar and other vestments under the smock.
"To benefit all his charities, yeah. He requested it in his will in lieu of floral tributes." Alec pulled on the cap and visor. "I know that much because we've discussed his final wishes before. I'm executor of his will, and I can't say I'm looking forward to carrying out my duties. I still find it hard to think he's gone." Alec choked a little on his words.
"My Edward does not want flowers at his funeral? I want an entire garden of red roses at my funeral, and anyone who does not buy me roses, I will haunt for the rest of their lives." Lily intoned. Angel stared at her.
"We all look like doctors." observed Ryoko somberly from under her mask.
"Come on." Alec sighed, his voice equally muffled by the mask, when everyone in his group was ready. Alec signaled Theberge, and the French doctor put his finished report into the out basket, signed out for the key pass, and took them to the cryogenic chamber.
It was dark. Alec could only make out two things. One, a surgical trolley upside down on the ground near the entrance, and toward the back, a naked human form sprawled on the ground as well. Theberge turned on an auxilary light.
"Merciful God!" Angel gasped. "It's Q-tip!" Angel quickly made the sign of the cross.
Alec looked at Angel as if the priest had lost his mind. Almost like he was traveling through a great fog, he crossed the room and knelt down next to the body, and slowly turned it to face him. Alec gasped at seeing Ed's face, and his heart pounded hysterically in his chest. He reached out and rested two fingers on the carodid artery in Ed's throat.
"Doctor, I feel something," Alec blurted out. Theberge came up, and examined Ed with his stethoscope. His eyes bulged.
"Merde! Vite, obtenez-moi le téléphone! Straker est vivant!"
Alec caught the word telephone and reached under his clothing and handed Theburge his mobile phone. Then he reached forward and gathered Ed up in his arms held him tightly. Ed's arm dangled, and Alec saw the word help which the Commander had scratched into his own flesh. Alec went absolutely white. Angel was rigid, muttering prayers in disbelief.
Lily spiraled and passed out. Ryoko stepped over her body dismissively, and tore off her smock and covered Edward with it. That brought both men out of their shock and they started doing the same. Theberge made a call and was blubbering in French but finally understood that he wasn't being heard. He switched to English, managed to get help and then hurried to Ed. Gently he opened one of Ed's eyes and then the other.
"Comment cette chose terrible a-t-elle pu se produire?"
"Doctor, we are not French. Is Edward sama alive? Have you called for help?" Ryoko said. Even before the doctor could respond, two doctors came racing up with a stretcher. All together, they lowered Ed upon it, and piled blankets on him together with a portable heated pad that covered his entire body, moved an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth, and Theberge bellowed orders and started IV's. Then they started moving the stretcher down the hall to intensive care with everyone following in stunned shock, except for Angel, who was still praying nonstop.
Lily was still blissfully unconscious on the floor. They'd overlooked her in their panic to get Edward treated.
Angel remained in the hospital chapel praying and giving thanks for what he branded as nothing less than a miracle, while Ryoko sat beside Ed's bed in his private room, guarding him, and talking softly in Japanese to him. He'd been lightly sedated. Dr. Theberge had expressed worry about contagion, but an test for communicable bacteria on Ed's blood had shown nothing but a dying strain being attacked by his immune system and all but wiped out completely. A second test had shown Ed's system to be completely free of the alien bacteria. He had patches of frostbite, and he was somewhat dehydrated, but the IV's were taking care of that. His vitals looked good. Cell function was normal. After Alec had placed a terse call to Yetunde telling her to get her arse to hospital fast, but not telling her exactly why, he had located Barry Stevenson. It hadn't taken him long to figure out that Stevenson was lying to him big time, so he'd delivered Stevenson to the interrogation department of Shado H.Q. which Virginia Lake was currently assigned to, and left him to her considerably less than tender mercies. After her initial shock on hearing what had happened, she had handled Stevenson herself, and had both Stevenson and Kincaid arrested.
Alec came back into Ed's room.
"He okay, Ryoko?"
"He sleep good, Alec. I tell him same stories I tell Miyako and granddaughter, never fail to put people to sleep." Ryoko grinned savagely. Alec chuckled at her and hugged her. "Lily's still insisting something must be wrong with her, because a daughter of the Goddess never faints, and that she needs a private room. They got sick of her bitching and stuck her in admitting. I have this feeling she's going to be there a long time." Alec laughed. Ryoko cackled.
"Lily have mouth and imagination bigger than her swelled head." Ryoko cackled again. Alec grasped one of Ed's hands with both of his after settling into a chair.
"You can say that again, Ryoko. My God. Look at him. Just look at him. The hell he must have gone through, stuck in there when we all thought he was dead. Look at his chest rise and fall. Have you ever seen anything more sweet? The doctors think that the bacteria mutated to the point where Ed seemed to be dead. No heartbeat, zero brain activity, no respiration. Clinically dead. And when that happened, the bacteria started to die off, and Ed's white cells finally were able to kick in and devour them. They don't know if Ed sustained any brain damage from oxygen deprivation, but they think because of the cold he was exposed to, his brain function must have shut down, like people submerged in icy water in an accident and then revived later. My God, Ryoko, Ed was dead for hours. Hours. I'm beginning to think Stanley is right. It is a miracle. It's a damn miracle. But when I think of the horror he must have experienced in that fucking hell hole of a chamber, and to wake up and find himself in a body bag, Jesus Christ, he's claustrophobic, what an ordeal to go through."
The door opened and Yetunde flew through it. She seemed to defy gravity.
She let loose a string of rapid phrases upon seeing Ed, which Alec guessed were Nigerian.
"Is he alive? Is he alive? AH AH AH! I do not believe it! They told me in intensive care what had happened and said you ordered him moved here. Edward! Alive! I do not believe it! Where is his chart? Who is assigned to him? "
"A Dr. Maurice Theberge, internist, French guy transferred to us from Canada. Nice guy, once you persuade him to speak English. Chart's over there. I said you'd probably want to see it. He got things moving quickly for Ed. He isn't with the studio though." Alec knew Yetunde would know he meant Theberge wasn't in Shado.
"I will take the case, Edward is my patient. Alec! His face! His face!" Yetunde exclaimed, settling over Ed and taking his other hand. Alec smiled.
"Yeah. I know. Say, Yetunde, how the hell do we tell Maggie, Frances and the others?"
"My stupid granddaughter will not believe you." Ryoko said, tucking Ed's comforter closer over him. Ed grunted softly in response to her touch. "He is waking up, Alec sama. He should see your face first, he was calling for you. I will go and call stupid granddaughter, and everyone else."
"Tell them no visitors until we determine how stable he is. But judging from this, he will be all right. Oh Alec this is wonderful. Blessed Olorun, this is just wonderful!"
"Hai. I go now. I will go drag Stanley out of chapel also, if he not call his wife this minute it not very Christian of him," cackled Ryoko, bringing laughter to Alec and Yetunde. She went out. Yetunde picked up Ed's medical chart, and began reading.
Ed stirred, and his eyelids fluttered a little.
"Wake up Ed, you worthless son-of-a-bitch." Alec chuckled, tears in his eyes. Yetunde scowled at Alec, but kept skimming the chart.
Ed opened his eyes and focused on Alec.
"Alec?" he squeaked wearily. Alec looked like he might burst into song, he was so happy to see those ice-blue eyes so full of life.
"Right here with you. Where else would I be?"
"Where am I, Alec?"
"In your room in hospital."
"What happened to me this time? I have a doozy of a headache."
"You died on us, Ed. What do you remember?"
"I was dreaming of some Japanese woman. Nice dream."
"Was her name Margaret? Because otherwise you're going to have a lot of explaining to do."
Ed looked at Alec in confusion.
"Margaret? Oh, Maggie, right? No. Wasn't Maggie. Beautiful woman. Looking at her hurt my eyes. Wait, Alec, did I have a seizure? I seem to remember having a seizure, being cold. Cold. No! NO!" Ed sat straight up, and Alec held him momentarily, rubbed his arms.
"Ed, it's okay, you're safe. Don't think about it. Try not to think about it."
"Was I buried alive? Was I, Alec? Good sweet Christ, tell me I wasn't--I woke up in a body bag, my God, Alec, my God!" Ed was shaking badly and gripping Alec.
"Ed, you're safe. The bacteria are dead, all killed by your white blood cells. You sustained some frostbite, not too severe, and you were getting shocky, but you're going to be okay. Oh but I do have some bad news for you."
"Bad news? What could be worse than our poor Edward waking up in that horrible place." Yetunde asked.
"Yetunde. It's good to have you both here. All right Alec, what's the bad news?"
Alec got up, went over to Ed's chest of drawers, and took something out. It was a mirror.
"Oh not that again," Ed moaned loudly. "What age do I look like this time? Twenty? Thirteen? Five?"
Reluctantly Ed accepted the mirror and peered into it. He blinked. Alec chuckled at him.
"It's me!"
"Who did you think you were going to see? The wicked Queen from Snow White asking who the fairest in the kingdom was?" Alec teased.
"You know very well what I mean. I look fifty again." Ed said, pleased.
"That's why I called it bad news. Your wrinkles came back, your hair turned white and your libido took a dive."
Ed chuckled.
"I don't want to talk about whatever my twenty-five year old self did." Ed smiled, "But if I ever catch up with him, I'll lecture him on his sense of modesty. Am I really going to be okay? Why isn't Maggie with me? Did I do something to upset her again?"
"You died on her, Edward, that's something that might be just a little bit upsetting. Besides, we have not told her. Ryoko went and called her, and if I know Margaret, she'll zoom over here. And such a pity! I wanted you all to myself."
"There she goes again. So much for the engagement. Thank God I didn't spend money on a ring," Alec complained. Ed grinned widely at him.
"Come here, Yetunde." Ed said. Alec looked puzzled, but stood aside as Yetunde came up. Ed reached over and kissed her on the cheek. Yetunde squeaked in contentment. Ed looked at her, greatly amused. "Not bad for a dead man. That's my revenge for what you two did to me."
"Edward, what would it take for you to leave Margaret and go back with me to Nigeria?" Yetunde said dreamily, while Alec stood there, arms crossed, affecting a playful scowl.
"Oh I don't know, total insanity maybe. I love Maggie, despite what I just did to tease you. And Alec stop staring at me like that, I haven't reverted to my younger behaviour, I just wanted you to know I know perfectly well you two aren't engaged at all, and that it was a ruse to make me happy before I died. Touching, but not necessary, but I decided to let you believe I believed it . And I may be married, but I'm not really dead. Yet. Now can someone get me my wife, and some aspirin and not necessarily in that order? I'm tired, and I'd like to sleep, but not before seeing her. Alec, you wouldn't cry in front of me, would you, you old battered warhorse of an Australian? Honestly, Alec. Pull yourself together. Disgraceful." Ed smiled fondly at his tearful friend, and extended a hand to him.
Alec took it and squeezed it. They looked at each other, taking pleasure in each other's presence. A moment went by and then the men pulled one another into a brief embrace. Now Ed's eyes filled with tears he didn't bother to brush away.
"I wouldn't have known what to do without you, you bloody-minded son-of-a-bitch. Don't ever do that to me again." Alec said. He handed Ed tissues and used one himself.
"Why the hell didn't you come sooner? What do I pay you for? If you weren't going to rescue me right away, at least you could have sent me a blanket, a thermos of coffee the way I like it and some of Frances' lemon cake. God, Alec. God. Can you stay with me a while? Please stay, won't you? I don't want to be alone after that. To tell the truth, as tired as I am, I dread going to sleep, considering the nightmares I'm going to have." Ed shuddered.
Alec shot a look at Yetunde, it wasn't like Ed to plead openly that much.
"What?" cried Ed in exasperation. "Is there something you haven't told me?"
"No no we're just worried about you."
"I'll be fine. Just fine. Go on, get Maggie for me."
"Yetunde can. I'll stay. I know you have a deck of cards around somewhere, and I'll take some money off you until Mags gets here."
"I come back from the dead, and he's after my money." Ed groaned, but he looked considerably cheered at not being left alone.
"I'll go get Margaret. Be careful of Alec, he cheats."
"I know." Ed assured Yetunde. She left, and Alec dug in one of the drawers again. "Alec, am I really okay?"
"Everything indicates you're fine. Why?" Alec found the cards, sat next to Ed's bed and began to shuffle them. "What shall we play? Blackjack? Poker? Old maid? Go fish?"
"I feel like all my threads are unraveling. I feel ready to jump out of my skin." Ed admitted plaintively.
Alec threw the cards on Ed's bed.
"And this surprises you? Ed, you woke up in the morgue in a body bag for Christ's sake, you don't get over something like that in an--oh Jesus, Ed."
"Damn, I don't have much control over the tears. Maybe that Dr. Theberge will give me something to calm me down."
"I'm sure he'd think that was a good idea. I'll go hunt him down."
"No! Don't leave me!" Ed exclaimed in terror, and then looked very uneasy about his outburst. Alec patted his shoulder.
"Settle down, Ed, it's okay. I'll stay as long as you can tolerate my ugly face. I'll telephone for him. He must be around someplace. Making rounds or something."
"Thank God you're here, Alec. Thank God you're here."
"Why don't you lie back down, rest your eyes."
"Okay, I'm tired. Just stick around, okay?"
Alec waited until Ed closed his eyes, then he dialed Theberge's extension. Following that, he frowned at Ed. What had the experience done to him? How badly was he psychologically scarred?
The door opened, and Angel came in, smiling. His footsteps caused Ed to open his eyes.
"Angel! I didn't realise you were here. Is this a business visit?"
Angel looked down at his cossack and chuckled. "The good Lord will no doubt forgive me for this, so to hell with business. I came to see how my oldest and dearest friend was. You have no idea how happy it makes me to see your face again, Q-tip. You sitting up in bed like that was a miracle. I should start petitioning for you to be declared a saint." Angel came over and embraced Ed, and Ed hugged him back.
"That you'd even entertain the idea that I was a saint proves you're sicker than I am, Angel. " Ed said, "but it's nice to have the Australian delegation with me. Makes me feel safe."
"I was in the chapel giving thanks to God for Him returning you to us, and that delightful Japanese woman came and chastised me for not ringing Frances and telling her you were all right. So I did, Q-tip. You should have heard Frances shriek in joy. She hasn't shrieked that loud since I stepped on her toe attempting to waltz with her at our wedding. Arthur Murray I'm not." grinned Angel.
"Whatever you lack in expertise on the dance floor, you more than make up for in your voice, Angel. Are you saying Ryoko is here? Did she call Maggie?" Ed asked hopefully.
Angel was silent for a moment.
"Margaret's a little reluctant to come. You have to understand it came as quite a shock when we finally convinced her you were found alive. She didn't believe us. Thought we were playing a tasteless joke on her. Frances will bring her round, she'll be all right. How are you feeling? You look a little shaken, but that will pass."
"Reluctant to come? What the hell is the matter with her?" Alec said in irritation. "Ed needs her, for pete's sake."
"Just a case of nerves, Alec." Angel said, clearly reluctant to add anything more.
"Nerves? We're supposed to understand her nerves? Does she know what Ed went through? She's supposed to be the psychiatrist." Alec looked at Ed in worry. Ed just looked gravely hurt, and on the verge of tears.
"I'm sure she'll come around." Angel assured Ed.
"Women! Can't live with them, can't live without them." Alec complained. "You hungry, Ed? Where's that idiot Theberge? Didn't he order meals for you? Damn idiots are paging him, he apparently had an emergency."
"I see that our friend Alec is back to his protective grizzly bear persona." Angel grinned.
Ed managed a smile at that.
"More like an overstuffed teddy bear. I'm starved, now that you mention it, Alec. Despite whatever they're feeding me through these tubes."
Alec's mobile telephone buzzed at him and Ed jumped a little, obviously on edge.
"Freeman. Hi Frances. Yes, yes he is. Well yeah, but he's awake and we were just trying to get Dr. Theberge to order a meal for him. Yeah, Angel told me. Oh. Good. Sure, that would be great. Is that Devon whining at you in the background? I figured it was. Where's Yetunde? Yetunde's cutting apples? I had no idea she was so domestic! No, don't tell her that. She's too good at martial arts. Okay. Good. Yeah he better before he pops an artery. Okay. Bye."
"What was that all about?" Angel asked.
"Frances and Yetunde are cooking, and will be over in about a half hour. Maggie's on her way here with Ryoko and Devon. I'm afraid Devon insisted on coming, Ed."
Ed chuckled.
"I'm looking forward to seeing him again. But someone has to protect him from Lily's New Age influence," Ed grinned.
"Where are Nanette, Chloe and Yolanda and Beryl?" Angel asked. "They aren't back yet?"
"Still at some single mother's convention for the weekend, they weren't there when I told everyone about Ed dying. They'll be glad to see he's fine when they get back."
"So Maggie's coming?" Ed asked hopefully. "And Lily?"
"Ryoko wanted to go into London first for something, so it will take them a while to get here, but yeah. Lily's still in admissions."
"Admissions? Why?"
Alec proceeded to tell Ed the story of the daughter of the Goddess who insisted she was as strong as any man, and wouldn't faint but at the first sight of her ex-fiance apparently dead in the morgue, she'd done a death spiral. Ed began to laugh, especially when Alec added the fact that she wasn't all that pleased when she came around, demanding a private room but they branded her a pest and dropped her in admissions. He added that Ryoko had come to her senses before anyone else had, and started trying to warm Ed's body. Ed smiled. The door opened, and Dr. Maurice Theberge came in.
"It is good to see you awake, Mr. Straker. I am sorry I am late but I was asked to assist at a birth. Mother and baby are doing fine. Daddy passed out I am afraid." the doctor chuckled. "I understand I neglected to order meals for you. I was hoping you would not awaken so soon from the sedation. The trauma, you understand. Sleep is such a good healer.You have gone through a terrible experience. I will have someone in dietary get you anything you want. Is there a particular food you would like? Perhaps we can get a restaurant to deliver something you like?"
"I'd just like to get out of here, Doctor. No need to worry about my meal, I'm having visitors in a little while, and one of them usually cooks enough food to feed every man and woman in the Air Force. I won't starve. How long do I have to be connected to these damn things," Ed said in irritation, pointing to his IV's. "When can I be released?"
"I can handle those for you. To be careful, I would like to keep you one more day, and run some basic tests. I would also like for you to see Dr. Constantine, from our psychological department. She is excellent. You are likely to suffer from the trauma of your experiences for some time to come. Do you understand post traumatic stress syndrome?"
"Used to be called shell shock, yes. I understand it all right. It plagues me now and then. But my wife is a psychiatrist. Whatever demons remain in my subconscious, I'll leave it to her to drive out. Besides, I'm with friends now. But there is something you could do for me. I've been, well, overemotional. Uneasy at the thought of being alone. I've got to get back to my job at the studio, I can't function like this, the way I've been on edge. I thought perhaps a mild tranquiliser might do the trick."
"I am aware some doctors hand them out like lollies to reward sick children that have procedures done, but I happen not to be one of them. I think what would be far better for you is the comfort of your wife, and her professional expertise. Where is she?" Theberge asked.
"She's on her way here." sighed Ed.
"Let me take care of this IV for you. Mr. Freeman, perhaps you would like to call the nurse in here? I require her assistance."
"Sure," Alec said and slipped out the door.
"I don't think I introduced myself, Dr. Theberge. I'm the Right Reverend Stanley Brisby from Saint Stephen's Anglican church. Q-tip--Ed and I have been friends a long time, since the Vietnam conflict. You don't sound like you've been in this country very long."
"Indeed! My parents settled in Quebec after I was born. It was quite a challenge to learn English, I am afraid. I listened to radio programmes on the BBC, and I decided I would like to come and work in England, after all, it is rich with history. I met my wife here, and earned my medical licence. Sadly, my wife lost her battle with cancer. If I did not have my work I would go insane, believe me. Dr. Constantine was quite helpful with my attempt to deal with my grief. But enough about me. I am afraid I am a devout Roman Catholic, Reverend. Here comes my nurse. I will be removing Mr. Straker's IV's, he will be more comfortable, yes? I will change the dressing on his blisters from his frostbite. Nurse, pull the curtain around his bed, nous donnerons . . . Monsieur Straker de l'intimité, si vous s'il vous plaít? "
Ed winced as the needles were withdrawn from his hand, and he clenched his teeth as the doctor examined the blisters on his leg and thigh from the exposure to cold. He started shaking. Theberge frowned.
"I will do my best not to hurt you, Mr. Straker, I suggest you please try to relax."
Ed gave him a look which clearly told the doctor what Ed thought of his suggestion.
In the meantime, Ryoko marched happily into the room carrying a shopping bag. Maggie followed, looking tense. Quickly she noticed the curtain had been pulled around Ed's bed.
"It's about time you decided to show up." Alec said grumpily.
"What's going on? Why is his curtain drawn around his bed? Alec?"
From the other side of the curtain, came a familiar voice.
"Maggie? Maggie it's all right, I'm just having my dressing changed. God it's good to hear your voice."
Maggie swayed on her feet. Ryoko flashed a look at her that was less than kind.
"Edward not need you to faint on him too. You no better than stupid Lily."
"Shut up grandmother." Maggie retorted. Alec glared at Maggie. He pointed meaningfully toward the curtain. Maggie licked her lips. Now even Angel shot her a disapproving look. The nurse drew the curtain back, and Ed sat up, adjusting the blankets around him.
"Maggie. Aren't you glad to see me?" Ed said, somewhat hurt.
Maggie had no words, she just stared.
"Stupid granddaughter have no sense in head. Look, Edward, I find you something special." Ryoko wasted no time in coming over and handing Ed a brightly wrapped package.
Ed looked at Maggie sadly, but brought his attention back to the package and shook it.
"Mrs. Usami, I am glad to see you again. You're looking very attractive tonight. I can assure you that Mr. Straker is doing very well. I want to keep him a little longer, for observation." Theberge informed Ryoko.
"Not formal, Dr. Theberge, my name Ryoko. That my stupid granddaughter."
"Ryoko. Very musical. My name then is Maurice. My friends and associates call me Maury. My late wife Jeanne didn't like it very much. She didn't like nicknames." Theberge smiled. He thanked the nurse and she went out.
"You widower, Maury? I lose my husband long time ago. Bad heart. I want handsome man like Edward, but dishonourable granddaughter find him first. Not appreciate him. He beloved of Goddess Amaterasu. Open package, Edward sama."
Ed tore open the package, and opened the box. Cradled in straw was a porcelain statue of a Japanese woman in traditional kimono surrounded by light. Ed lifted it, bewildered.
"I know this woman."
"What are you talking about? Ed, that's a statue of a mythical sun Goddess in the Shinto religion. Amaterasu. Grandmother was insisting all the way here that she spared your life and didn't turn you into a kami, which is a spirit. " Mags said. "She doesn't exist."
"I'm telling you, I know her from somewhere."
Angel, Theberge, Alec and Mags all stared at Ed. Ryoko on the other hand, beamed with a halogen smile.
"See? Ryoko tell you. Amaterasu speak to Ed. She say he not go into next world."
Ed stared at the statue. It seemed to smile only at him. He lay it back down in the cushion of shredded straw.
"Ryoko, when I faced Adam Fielding, I had hoped to use his superstitious nature to trick him into confessing to the murders. Only the equipment we used to recreate her image and the tape of you impersonating her didn't work. However, Fielding saw what I saw. Miyako Usami. There. Drawing Fielding to his end."
"Ed, you don't know what you're saying. You're trying to tell us my mother appeared to you and lured my father to his death?" Mags said, clearly questioning her husband's sanity. Ed looked her straight in the eye.
"I saw her. I heard her. So did your father. That's what drove him to suicide. There was a moment when she said something I couldn't understand. It was Japanese, but I couldn't make it out. I can't remember what it was now. It seemed like it didn't come from Miyako at all. It seemed like it came from somewhere inside Miyako. No, no, that's not a good description, damn it." Ed picked up the statue again, and studied it. "All right. I know I sound like my experience has tipped me over into complete insanity, but I believe this goddess spoke to me. Only I have no idea what she said."
"She spared you. I tell you story, you not remember? Of many lives you have? She not allow you to be kami in spirit world. You are much honoured. I dream this many times. You have sacred nature. You have samurai spirit, but heart of monk, carry great burden. I not welcome say more, you understand?" Ryoko cackled. "Even Stanley say you sacred."
"Sacred? Me? Now who's insane?" Ed chuckled. "Thank you, the statue is very beautiful, whether this sun goddess spoke to me or not. I still have the uncanny feeling I have seen her. That I looked when I wasn't supposed to." Ed shrugged.
"If you will forgive me, I will be on my way now, and I'll be sure to write orders that Mr. Straker have regular meals. If he continues to make progress, I'll write his discharge tomorrow." Theberge smiled.
"I go now too." Ryoko smiled. "You sleep well, Edward. You think good thoughts of Ryoko. Amaterasu watch over you tonight."
"Sun Goddess. Shinto is she? Her counterpart must be the Blessed Mother. Say, Ryoko, you wouldn't want to have some coffee with me and tell me her story, would you?"
"You ask Ryoko on date?"
Theberge actually blushed.
"I suppose so!" he chuckled.
Ed grinned widely at that.
"Go for it, Ryoko, he's cute." Ed whispered. Ryoko cackled. Mags stared at Ed.
"Ryoko say hai. We go, all of us, let Edward rest and let stupid granddaughter alone with husband. Edward screw up karma somewhere to be stuck with her."
"Ed, you want me to hang around?" Alec said, amused by Ryoko's antics.
"No, as long as Maggie's with me, I'll be all right, I'll try to nap. You will stay with me, won't you?"
"Of course." Mags' tone wasn't all that enthusiastic and he noted that. Ed attempted to conceal his disapppointment. The others made their goodbyes and at last the room was quiet. Ed looked at Maggie.
"Why were you so reluctant to come?"
"To tell you the truth, I don't know, Ed."
"You would have inherited quite a lot of money had I really been dead. Both from me and your father's estate."
"My father's estate? Horsepiss, I never thought of that! I guess I am the only remaining Fielding."
"You're a Straker. There was a time you were proud of that fact. There was a time you would have come running to me, and wouldn't let anything separate me from you. What am I supposed to think, Maggie? Is it the way I look?"
"Ed, you're taking this too personally."
"Maggie, Christ! Too personally? How am I supposed to take it? Was the younger Straker more exciting to you? Did he take risks that appealed to you? Am I so repulsive now?"
"Ed, you're being a jerk."
"Oh we can't have that. I can't let my feelings show in front of my beautiful wife who is supposed to be an expert on human behavior. Do you have any idea what it's like to wake up in a body bag, and claw your way out of it, only to find you were trapped, and you had to tick away the seconds before you froze to death? Trapped in that damn enclosed place? Screaming for anyone to come and help you? Excuse me for being upset, Maggie. Excuse me for wanting the comfort of my wife's arms. Excuse me for being afraid. I forgot I am just a cardboard hero, I'm not supposed to show weakness, I guess you'd rather have the cardboard. Look, if I'm that unacceptable to you--"
"Damn you Ed! First I hear that my father jumped out his window and then I watch you convulse, I watch your eyes roll back in your head, I listen to your last breath. Don't you understand how I feel? I love you, Ed, you know that."
"Do I? Seems to me you just continually find fault with whatever I do. Yes, I was indirectly responsible for your father's death. He was a killer, Maggie. Or have you forgotten he tormented your mother and drove her to her death? You no doubt still grieve him, you didn't have a father, you didn't have his love all your life. But I adore you, Maggie, and whenever you're not with me, it tears me apart. It leaves a Maggie shaped hole in my soul. I'm so weary of this constant disapproval of what I do that is all I get from you lately. I didn't ask for what happened to me."
"Horsepiss Ed! You went out to that UFO knowing it was dangerous! Alec told you not to do anything until backup came. But not Ed Straker, he just plunged head first into danger, and wound up paying for it with his life. So don't tell me you didn't ask for it. You asked for it all right. You assumed I'd leave you. You made sure it was a damn self-fulfilling prophecy too. You were so afraid I'd go, that you decided to go before I could get the chance. You just don't trust me. What kind of a marriage do we have if you're going to always throw yourself in harm's way?"
"When are you going to understand how important Shado is to me? When are you going to accept it, accept my work? It's a part of me, Maggie, I built it from the ground up. I thought you loved me for who I was, I prayed you'd accept me for who I am, who I need to be."
"Ed why do you deny yourself an ordinary life? That Paul Foster is perfectly capable of running Shado. You just cling to the misery of your life, having to claw for anything you get, having to answer to Henderson, you're hell bent on destroying yourself, and your friends and wife be damned! What's more important to you? Us, or that organisation of yours that robbed you of a decent life?"
"I've heard enough of this." snapped Ed. He climbed out of bed and rummaged through his wardrobe.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"I'm getting dressed. You can do whatever the hell you want."
"Theberge wants you to stay, you stubborn idiot."
"He can live with the disappointment. I belong in Shado, not having to listen to my supposedly loving wife tell me what I should be doing, and tell me how I should live."
"Forget it Ed. You don't need to go. I will. I hope you have a good life, you and your fucking obsession with Shado. Because sooner or later, it's going to destroy you, and I won't sit back and watch it happen to you. Good-bye, Ed." Mags darted out the door. Ed stared at her, stunned, sat heavily on the bed, dropped his head in his hands. Within moments he began to sob uncontrollably.
Outside the room, Angel stopped Alec from going after Maggie as she pushed past the small group of listeners. He and Frances and Yetunde had heard the argument, and Angel had quietly told them it was between Ed and Maggie. Alec was furious. He beat the wall with a fist, earning a disapproving look from the people on duty at the nurses station. What the hell was he supposed to do now? Both Angel and Frances had heard the phrase Shado clearly. In his distraught state, Ed had forgotten security policy. That meant Angel and Frances would have to get the amnesia shots administered. Alec looked at Yetunde meaningfully, and she gave an understanding nod. And what the hell was wrong with Maggie, upsetting Ed like that? Couldn't she see he was on the brink of a nervous breakdown? The nurses' station staff continued to frown in his direction. He glared back at them furiously and they dropped their heads. From around the corner, Nate Zouri came hurrying up, taking lengthy strides with his long legs.
"I'm sorry it took me so long to get here, we was partyin' at the studio, after hearin' the news about the Comm- about Mr. Straker." Nate exposed his white teeth in a pleased, joyous grin, but it quickly faded when he heard the sobs from Ed's private room. "Shit, is that him?" Nate asked.
"They had a big fight, the two of them. Margaret and Edward." Yetunde explained. "Alec, I'll see to Frances and Stanley. You go in, Alec, he'll need you. Nate, you go find a Dr. Theberge. Ryoko's with him. If you don't find him, come back and wait for me outside Edward's room."
Alec could hear Frances asking what Shado was as she led them away. Alec took a deep breath, and went in.
In the meantime, Maggie nearly ran into Yetunde. She stopped and would have gone past her, but Yetunde took her arm.
"Frances, Stanley, go into my office and wait for me, I want a word or two with Margaret."
Both Angel and Frances gave Maggie baffled looks, but obeyed.
"What the hell is wrong with you, Margaret?"
"Yetunde, listen, I was on my way back to him, I guess you all heard. I admit I was an idiot. I don't know why we fight each other when we need each other the most." Mags said, weeping quietly.
"Have you ever sat down and read Ed's medical records? Do you have any idea what he went through, being locked up like he was? I ran into Dr. Theberge and Ryoko, and Theberge thinks Edward is having flashbacks of his experiences in Vietnam. They imprisoned Edward and tortured him, and denied him food and sufficient clothing, how do you think Ed developed claustrophobia? AH AH AH, you are a psychiatrist, you understand the walls he put up after that, and he barely made it through his training! And what will become of Edward now if you do not help him, Margaret? What will happen to him if you force him into a choice he cannot make? Margaret, I like you very much, make no mistake, but you treated Edward terribly. I know losing Edward was a terrible, terrible experience for you, you had lost your father, and you hardly knew him, and you had to find out the things he did. That is horrible. I do not deny that. But Edward has been let down many, many times. There is only so much that gentle soul can take. Now go and be his wife. And pray that his wounds have not been opened so much that he bleeds beyond any of our attempts to help him. He's with Alec. But he needs more than Alec. He needs you. And maybe in helping Edward heal, you will heal too. But I warn you, Margaret. None of us will stand around and let you continually hurt Edward like this. If you think you're being bullied, that's because you are. There is very little that Edward's friends wouldn't do for him. Now go. Go before I lose my temper even more than I have already."
Yetunde went into her office and slammed the door. Mags sighed and headed back to the room.
* * *
"I'm petitioning Margaret for a divorce."
"Ed, you're being an idiot."
"Christ, Alec, not you too? Can't anyone see what I'm going through? Doesn't anyone understand?"
Alec sat on the edge of the bed and watched the whirling dynamo that was his long time friend Ed Straker. Ed was pulling on clothes like he was competing in some kind of getting dressed contest with the seconds ticking away. That he had lost weight yet again was causing him to mutter to himself. Alec watched him fondly. To think that he'd almost lost this problem child.
"Ed, just where do you think you're going?"
"Back to Shado, Colonel Freeman, where I belong. Where things make sense. Where I don't have to think about a wife who apparently doesn't give a rat's arse whether her husband is dead or alive. I'm getting out of this nightmare."
"Dr. Theberge said --"
"Fuck what Dr. Theberge said." Ed snapped.
"That's not very polite for a puritanical kid who grew up in Boston, Ed."
"That kid should have stayed in Boston."
"That kid became a terrific man who is suffering and needs his friend. Now sit down and talk to me, Commander."
"Nothing to talk about, Colonel." Ed pulled on a tie with a stylised Eagle pattern on it.
"Either you talk to me, or I go and get Caroline Constantine."
"Who?" Ed asked, pulling on socks.
"Dr. Caroline Constantine . Psychologist. The woman Theberge mentioned. One of ours. That gila monster Jackson is at some convention in the States, and Constantine is filling in. And believe me, she's a lot prettier."
"I hope that wasn't her only qualification for joining Shado. I have no need of this woman. Or any woman. I've had it, Alec. I agree with Hamlet. No more marriages."
"Hamlet, huh? You and Hamlet have a lot in common. I almost was doing Horatio's lines for your final act. The stuff about let flights of angels sing thee to thy rest."
"What is it with you and Shakespeare, Alec? "
"What do you mean?"
"Romeo's dialogue. Seems to be a favourite of yours. What light from yonder window breaks, etcetera, etcetera. For voice identification. Voice input is saved, you know. You could say your name like everybody else, but instead you apparently like hanging around the balcony." Ed smiled a little.
"Tights, Ed. Lots of tights in Shakespeare. Women go for guys in tights."
"I see."
There was a knock at the door.
"What now?" moaned Ed.
Alec got up and opened it. Maggie came in, with the demeanor of a housebroken dog that just had been caught soiling the carpet.
"Why, if it isn't my loving wife. Sorry Margaret, but as you can see, I'm on my way out. Somewhere there have to be people who are actually thankful I'm not dead, and they're probably to be found in Shado."
"I hear Keith Ford got stinking drunk when he heard you were still alive," Alec interjected casually. Ed flashed him a genuine grin.
"There always have to be rare exceptions." Ed acknowleged.
"You're not going anywhere, Straker." Maggie crossed her arms.
"Oh, I'm not, huh?" Ed made a beeline for the door, Maggie grabbed his arm.
Ed Straker gave Maggie a look as lethal as a nuclear missile.
"Let go of me." Ed snarled.
"Someone has to eat the food Frances and Yetunde cooked, and it might as well be me. See you later, Ed." Alec said breezily, and started to go out, but in came Virginia Lake. Maggie reluctantly let go of his arm, wondering who the hell Lake was. Not another ex-wife? It sure seemed like it, when Lake came up and gave Ed a quick, formal hug. Even Alec raised an eyebrow, but the surprise on Ed's face was too good not to enjoy.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I brought a telegram for Alec, and I really wanted to express how happy we all are that you're alive and well, Sir. How are you feeling?"
"I'm well, Virginia." Ed managed to smile, and actually returned the hug.
Virginia? Maggie shot Alec a look, but Alec ignored her.
"I don't think you've met my wife, Dr. Margaret Fielding."
Maggie caught the absence of Straker in her name, and winced. I deserve this, she thought. But I won't cry in this hussy's presence. She looks like she's carrying the Olympic torch for Ed, and this is the first time I've heard of her. Is there no end to Ed's women? Maggie reluctantly shook hands with her. Horsepiss! She's attractive, professional, confident, and if she doesn't stop looking at my husband like that, she's going to be dead.
"Nice to finally meet you. Well, I'll be going. It's been chaos at the studio without you, Sir. See you later. Oh I almost forgot, how silly of me, Miss Ealand gave me this telegram for Alec."
"Thanks, Ginny. Maybe I won the lottery."
"I hope not, Alec, it would corrupt you even more than you already are. We all feel Yetunde is your saving grace," tittered Lake, and she waved and left.
Alec grinned, sat down and tore open the envelope she'd handed him, while Ed and Maggie circled each other like fighting cocks.
"So what do you want? Why did you bother to come back?" Ed asked Maggie.
"I need my husband back. My handsome, still breathing husband."
"And what caused this change of heart?" Ed fired back, livid.
"Ed, look, I'm really sorry. Please, please believe me. Everything just happened too fast. I can't- I can't tell you what it's like to have you here, to have you with me." Maggie went up to Ed, threw her arms around him and Ed went rigid. Slowly he reacted, and gripped her tightly, stifling sobs.
"I'm sorry, Maggie, I should have realized you had issues too. It's never easy to lose a parent, whether you're five or eighty-five. I love you sweetheart, my Maggie."
"Ed, Ed. Maybe they're right. Maybe it is a miracle that I have you back."
Behind them, Alec gasped. The sound made Ed let go of Maggie and turn and look at Alec. Alec was staring at the telegram he was clutching. Ed went over and sat next to him protectively on the edge of the bed.
"What is it, Alec? Bad news?"
"Telegram from my mother. My father's near death from cancer, and he wants me to come and be with with him, fly out immediately."
"Alec, I'm so sorry. I'll lend you the company jet, no need to fly commercially. I'll pay for it myself." Ed said, putting his hand gently upon Alec's shoulder.
"Mags, could I have a private word with Ed?" Alec asked.
"Sure, I will go and find Yetunde and the others and get us all the dinner we cooked. And you, husband, will take those clothes off and get back into bed." Maggie bent, kissed Ed, and went out.
"Something wrong?"
"Ed, I am going to tell you something about me, and by God, if you ever mention it after all this is over, I'll kill you, and you can guarantee you'll stay dead."
Ed chuckled softly.
"And what is this deep, dark secret, Colonel?"
"I'm afraid of my father."
There was a moment of silence and then Alec scowled at Ed defiantly.
"Go ahead Straker, you bastard, call me a coward. A man who is afraid of his own father." Alec spat out. Ed didn't react.
"Alec, it comes as no surprise to me. I've read your psychological profile, same as you've read mine. What does come as a surprise to me is your Dad wanting you to come. I thought he was still furious after all these years that you'd chosen to go off on your own, and not work at his station."
"That's what I thought. Mother indicates differently in this telegram. She says it's his final request."
"Then you better get out there asap. I can do without you for a while, if any future crisis I may encounter is miminal. What is it?"
"Ed I have a request."
"Sure, Alec, name it. God knows you've been a pillar of strength to me. There's nothing I would deny you if it was in my power to give it to you." Ed said fervently.
"Come with me to Australia for moral support. Bring Maggie. Hell, bring Stanley and Frances if you want."
"What?"
"Let's put it this way. You don't accompany me, I don't go. You don't know what a twenty-four carat bastard my Dad is. I'm not facing him or Mum alone."
"Alec, Alec, Alec."
"Well?" Alec looked at Ed nervously.
Ed folded his arms against his chest , then rocked back a little, thoughtful. He finally sighed.
"I better go sign myself out asap. Kangaroo land, here I come."
"Ed, you won't regret this!" Alec said excitedly.
"Aren't a lot of killer snakes to be found in Australia? And more flies than you can shake a stick at?" Ed shuddered.
"Ed, you aren't scared, are you?"
"Frankly, yes!" Ed grinned.
The door opened, and in came a tall woman with a mass of dark curly hair, and a pleasant smile. She wore an caramel trouser suit accented with a brown and dark gold scarf, and opals decorated her ears. A chart was tucked under her arm. She extended a hand to Ed.
"Let me introduce myself, Commander, I'm Dr. Constantine, from our psychiatric department here at Mayland. I'm glad I caught you. I wanted to go over your symptoms with you and discuss them. Hi Alec."
"Hi Caroline. The problem child was just about to escape from the playpen." Alec said, indicating Ed. Ed shot a look at Alec, and shook hands with her.
"I'm afraid I can't chat with you just now. I'm off to the land down under. I'm accompanying Alec to Australia on a business trip." Ed told her.
"I'm afraid I can't let you do that until I speak to you, and write down in your chart that a trip is what you need to help you overcome flashbacks pertaining to the post traumatic stress syndrome you acquired as a result of being a prisoner of war. And I haven't even mentioned your claustrophobia."
"Now look, Doctor," Ed began.
"Commander, I'm afraid you can't refuse me, I'm responsible for your psychological well being until Jackson returns. Now my first inclination would be to schedule several one-on-one sessions with you, and confine you to hospital. But I'll settle for two."
"This trip I am taking with Colonel Freeman is urgent, I can't sit around and allow myself to be psychoanalysed by you, I just don't have the time for it. Besides, my wife is a psychiatrist, and she can help me get through any crisis I may experience as a result of what happened to me."
"Your wife's feelings toward you make it impossible for her to treat you as professionally as is necessary, and I'm sure she'd agree with me. Two sessions, Commander. Or else I use my authority, and I ground you."
"You're forgetting I'm officially still indefinitely on medical leave and can do as I see fit, an edict that Jackson himself signed." growled Ed. Constantine didn't seem impressed by Ed's grizzly imitation.
"Until you were mentally and physically well. Which you aren't. Which is why I need to treat you, and prescribe medication if necessary. Commander, Ed if I may, you aren't going to win this one. Two sessions. One this evening after dinner, and one tomorrow morning after you have a sound sleep." she smiled. Alec grinned.
"It'll take me at least that long to set everything up anyway, Ed." Alec said.
"All right, all right. Two. I'll see you later. I have to talk my wife into facing the scaly, slithery perils of Australia."
"Accompanying you to Australia, yes, I can see where you'd have problems. And you haven't even considered the deadly snakes." Constantine winked, and pointed at Alec. Then she grinned and left.
"Did she just insult you and insinuate you were a snake?" chuckled Ed.
"Looked that way. Yetunde will agree if I don't eat whatever she helped Frances cook. Besides that Constantine has never been a compassionate, flattering type. She's been making Paul turn cartwheels psychologically speaking. I don't think she thinks he's up to your job and she isn't being quiet about it. She's in your corner, Ed."
"Really? Could have fooled me. Acts like a four-star general." grumbled the Shado commander. Alec chuckled at Ed's discomfort.
"Oh and I should tell you, Yetunde probably is administering or already administered the amnesia drug to Frances and Stanley."
"What? Why?"
"Because a certain Commander and his wife were arguing rather loudly about his job in Shado, and they were listening outside the door with me, and Stanley wouldn't let us intervene. Said it was between you two, and that we had to let you work it out alone."
Ed groaned and threw up his hands in a gesture of surrender.
"What's next? Hell, why don't I just take out an advert in the Times? Ed Straker runs secret organisation under movie studio. Ryoko knows everything, and ought to have it. Maggie knows, and I still am not sure--"
"Ryoko knows?" Alec said, incredulous.
"Everything. Wasn't a leak either. She's genuinely clairvoyant, like Croxley was. I seriously doubt she's someone we need to worry about. I wonder how she's getting along with that Theberge? "
"You thinking of going into the matchmaking business, Ed?"
"With my record on interpersonal relationships? I can't even keep my own marriage from disintegrating. Besides, I think Ryoko deserves someone. And I do know that statue. I mean I do know that woman."
"Sure Ed. Might as well get undressed, Ed, those pants hang horribly on you anyway." Alec said, greatly enjoying Ed's misery at losing weight yet again. Ed had his pants halfway off when the door swung open and in ran Devon. Ed pulled his pants up so fast, he nearly lost his balance. Then he looked down at his leg, which Devon was hugging tightly, the way you'd expect an infant to hold onto his mother's tit. Ed couldn't help but grin.
"Hi to you too, Devon."
"Ed! Ed! Ed! You're really okay! Wow! They told me you were okay and everything, that you were alive, it's wicked! It's just like Greenteeth when he went to area 51 and they told everybody he was dead but he wasn't he had just found the flying saucers and helped the good alien who wasn't like the bad aliens, and then Greenteeth escaped and helped the good alien get home!"
"There's such a thing as a good alien?" Ed asked shocked, as Frances, Angel and Yetunde and Maggie all entered, noticing his pants weren't zipped.
"Sure! Haven't you ever seen ET the extraterrestial?"
"ET home, Ed." Alec said, on the brim of hysterical laughter.
"Boy if that movie wasn't a crock, I don't know what is." Ed said matter-of-factly, and that managed to finally dissolve Alec into unfettered laughter, as Ed grinned, amused. Devon just looked very happy that Ed was there.
"Edward, we brought you dinner, and its so lovely to see you so full of life and see you smile, and I promised Stanley I wouldn't make a spectacle of myself by crying again, but I'm so glad to see you, oh come here, Edward, let me hug you!" Frances exclaimed.
"I'd zip up first, Q-tip."
"What? God!" Ed turned around and quickly zipped up, causing Yetunde and Maggie to giggle. Frances just blushed, and went over and hugged him. Ed hugged Frances so hard, he lifted her heels at least a half inch off the ground.
"I think something is going on between those two," Yetunde suggested, carefully setting out dishes wrapped in aluminum foil.
"Can I help, Auntie Yetunde?" Devon said.
"Auntie Yetunde?" Alec cracked.
"Go and clean those hands of yours, and then yes, you can serve Edward. And shut up Alec."
"Wow there's a refrigerator and everything in here. Is this your room in hospital, Ed?" Devon asked. Then he popped into the adjoining bathroom. "Wow there's a marble tub in here too!"
"I bet Greenteeth never had a refrigerator or marble tub in his hospital room." Ed proclaimed, kissing Frances on the cheek and wiping away her tears with his handkerchief. "You smell of eau de cinnamon. I can hardly restrain myself, Frances." Ed joked.
"Okay, now I am really beginning to fear that there's something going on between Q-tip and my wife." Angel said jocularly.
"I've been having an torrid affair with Frances ever since I met her back at The Wall in Washington, Angel." Ed remarked dryly.
"The poor husband is always the last to know." Angel remarked with a loud sigh and then winked.
"Edward! Now you take that back! That isn't very Christian of you," Frances scolded, and giggled but she didn't exactly look to a watching Maggie like the prospect of having sex with Ed was all that unchristian. Having to share Ed is the pits, she thought playfully. But having him alive-my God, there he was, flirting openly, flashing that knee-weakening smile, looking more younger than the late-forties early fifty years the doctors had guessed he now was. How could she ever give up on him, turn her back on that-- what was it Yetunde had said? That gentle soul. Yetunde had his number all right.
"Ed I have something that belongs to you." Maggie unbuckled Ed's wristwatch from her wrist reluctantly. Ed blinked.
"Stole it off me before my body was even cold huh?" Ed complained, fastening it back on his wrist.
"I needed something to pawn," Maggie admitted.
"You're the heir to Fielding's estate, once my barristers sort out the paperwork with Fielding's barristers. My barristers are bigger than his. You won't need to pawn anything again. I'll take Neil's share of it, and that will go into a trust for Neil's friends, including Devon, who seems to be very happy to see me, unlike some wife I know."
Maggie stuck out her tongue at Ed. Ed smiled at her.
"I happily closed up your memorial fund, Ed, speaking of large sums, and I sent a cheque for half of it to GOSH and the other half I gave to Mayland." Alec said. Ed nodded.
"Thanks, Alec."
"GOSH?" Maggie said in a puzzled tone.
"Great Ormond Street Hospital. Benefits children who are ill. A favourite charity of mine that Harlington-Straker Film Studios sponsors. Speaking of Devon, what's the situation with you and Frances adopting him, Angel?" Ed asked. Angel pointed to Maggie and Maggie gulped guiltily.
Devon chose that moment to come bounding out and he held out his hands to Yetunde to inspect.
"It was icky lavender soap," Devon complained.
"That's a good boy. Soon as Edward gets back into his pyjamas, we'll give him some nice roast chicken. Edward, ah ah ah! You look like you've lost a stone, those pants are horribly baggy on you. Go and get undressed. No arguments." Yetunde insisted.
Ed grabbed Maggie's hand, took his pajamas out of the wardrobe and disappeared into the bathroom, shutting and locking the bathroom door behind him.
"Maybe I was right about the wrinkles, and the silver hair, but judging by that locked door, I was premature about the fallen libido." Alec cackled.
"Alec, you are terrible, come and sit down and eat before everything gets cold!" Frances scolded.
"Give me my share, and Ed's. I have a feeling he's going to be in there a while, if his last record is anything to rely on." Alec declared, and got hit sharply on the arm by Yetunde for his trouble.
* * *
"Okay, what? " Ed Straker demanded, sitting on the edge of the toilet and sliding off his clothes and putting on his pyjamas.
"How am I supposed to think with you getting undressed in front of me like that? What are our guests supposed to think?" Maggie winked. She draped herself seductively over Ed. He just glared at her, his expression more marble than the sunken tub and she reluctantly got off him.
"Quit stalling, Maggie. I know something's wrong. Why did Angel point at you? Don't tell me you think the adoption isn't a good idea. Frances and Angel will make terrific parents. Yes, yes, they're not young, but they have plenty of good mileage in them still and the important thing is, they love Devon. So what's the problem?" Ed buttoned his pyjama top and tied the sash on his bottoms.
"The problem is I started procedures to foster him myself. And his parents didn't object."
"WHAT? You WHAT?" Ed flew up, hands balling into fists.
"Ed, they'll hear you!"
"Goddamn it, Maggie, how could you do that?" Ed said, lowering his voice.
"I thought you were dead, you doofus. I can't have kids, you know that, my ovaries don't work right. I wanted him because he was the closest thing to Neil, and Neil adored you. Devon being around reminded me of you." Maggie said tearfully.
"And what are you going to tell him now? Devon, I can't take you, because my husband decided not to die and be buried, goddamn you Maggie! Do you really think I want to break that child's heart like that? His useless parents didn't even put up a fight! I can't believe you'd put me in a position like this! What am I supposed to tell him? I let him down last time because I knew I was dying! I can't bear to hurt him again! Before, I was waiting to die!" Ed trembled.
"You're not dying, Ed. As a matter of fact the doctors think that the final mutation of the bacteria not only restored you to normal, but shaved off a few years from you. You may look the same, but you're physically not the same. Most of your scars faded. Your bone density improved. Your immune system is stronger. There's a marked increase of elasticity in your skin tissue. You may be damaged subconsciously from the business in the morgue, but you're a new, improved Ed Straker. You might even be physically as young as late forties. Which all brings me to a question, Ed Straker, husband I adore."
Ed was desperately trying to take in everything she was saying, but he was dazed. Late forties? He turned and looked in the mirror, scowling at his reflection, which didn't look any different to him and then back at her.
"What question?" Ed barked at her.
"Why?"
"Why what?" Ed echoed impatiently.
"Why couldn't we adopt Devon?"
"Because I have Shado and you have your job, and it isn't fair to a child not to have a parent--"
"Ed, I decided not to go back into psychiatry full-time. Matter of fact, I landed a part time job right here in Mayland, in the looney tunes department working for some Greek goddess of a psychologist, right where I can keep an eye on you when you wind up here, which knowing you is going to be often." Maggie moaned. "And it's just three days a week. I can be with Devon when you aren't, and when I'm not there, he can stay with Frances and Angel, or even Yetunde. He's going to have parents coming out of his wazoo. But his name legally could be Straker, if you want."
"Maggie, Maggie, Maggie." Ed dropped his head into his hands.
"He loves you, Ed. And Neil would have been thrilled. "
"He'd be better off with Frances and Angel," Ed said urgently, looking down at her.
"Horsepiss no he wouldn't. The best father in the world is standing right in front of me, and you know it. It just about killed you to decide to let him go."
"How can you say that, Maggie?" Ed wept, "I let my own son Johnny die. How can you even call me a good father, or even a good husband? You were right. I did go blindedly right for that UFO. I think I even wanted it to blow me to bits. I was sure I'd lost you. I didn't want to live anymore. And allowing you to know what I do is endangering your life, and if anything happened to you I'd die inside. Adopting Devon would mean endangering him too."
"Ed, there's something about Devon that Angel and Frances found out from his parents, and didn't have any time to tell you."
Ed swayed and covered his face with his hands for a second, and groaned deep in his throat.
"For the love of God, no more bad news, I can't take any more bad news!"
Ed fumbled with the lock, but she covered his hands with hers.
"No Maggie! I've had enough."
"He's learning disabled, Ed. He's nine years old but he's mentally about five. He can't even read all that well."
"What? That's ridiculous, Maggie, he's imaginative, bright, full of energy."
"And he needs us." Maggie said. "And I mentioned all this to that Constantine woman, and she volunteers with kids like him, knows her way around social services, and might be able to get us through the British adoption clutter. She has a lot of respect for you, and was delighted you were okay, and she thinks it's a good idea. Especially because Devon wanted to be with me, and will be overjoyed to find out he gets you in the bargain." Maggie smiled.
"I'd be endangering him, Maggie."
"Nah, I have that covered too."
"Oh really? Run your master plan by me, if you don't mind."
"Nate wants to quit his Shado job and work full time as our bodyguard and driver. He was going to hand in his resignation and stay with me the night you died anyway. "
Ed opened his mouth and then closed it. Maggie grinned at him.
"I'll mull things over. Right now, I'm starved." Ed finally said.
Maggie happily unlocked the door. That was Strakerese for yes.
* * *
Ed Straker sat in bed, with only his reading light on for company, and started in on the final chapter of "Takeover" Naturally, this Chenault guy would save the day, and the bullets only grazed him. Hmmmm, that Constantine was supposed to come have a session with me. God, I may never be able to eat again. I think I must have eaten that whole chicken, and at least two helpings of that rice dish, and that African thing Yetunde cooked, sambussa, did she say it was called? Heaven. Those apple-cinnamon tarts, and naturally I had to expand my stomach for that lemon cake. I'm going to burst. Life has a lot of advantages over death and being stuck in an morgue refrigerator. No, no, we're not going there, are we, Straker? We have too much to think about. Like Lily indignantly coming in and telling me how bad they treated her, and then remembering to say she was glad I was okay, but then she knew I wasn't dead all that time anyway, since she's a daughter of the Goddess, and knows everything. Then she marched out and took a taxi home, but not before she sat down and ate with us and scared the hell out of poor Devon saying she was a witch. Typical Lily. And Ryoko and that Theberge arm in arm like they'd known each other forever, coming in and sharing food with us, delighting Frances no end. What else? Oh yes, yes, Alec and Yetunde, who keep acting like their relationship is platonic. Trying to convince me they aren't nuts over one another. Yolanda, Nanette and Chloe calling me, and telling me they were off to San Francisco again. Devon. Little Devon. The way he looked at me. Then back again at Maggie. Little expression so lost yet so full of hope. Nate coming in and squeezing me so tight I thought all my ribs would break. The look on Alec's face earlier, learning about his Dad. Alec needing me. Well, that's a reversal of fortune. Frances and Angel arguing about Angel taking some time off so they can accompany Alec and me to the land down under. Maggie's face when I said Australia was home to some of the deadliest snakes in the world. You aren't scared, are you, Maggie? No of course not, horsepiss, I don't get scared of snakes, Ed. Uh huh. We'll test that with a prop snake in her luggage I think. Maggie. I miss you, Maggie. Wish I hadn't insisted you go home with the Brisbies. Wish I could sleep with you in my arms, safe and sound. Ah, getting sleepy. Put away book, Chenault can wait. Might as well go to sleep. Doesn't look like Constantine is coming back. Switch off the light. Get warm. Never be cold again. Was so cold in that place. So cold. Go to sleep. So tired--
The book fell to the ground, and Ed's hand dangled over the side of his bed.
So tired, oh God, let me die now, I can't bear this much longer, if I move he'll hit me again, can't let him see how tired I am, show him how an Major in the United States Air Force takes punishment. Forget how hungry you are, forget how your throat burns, how distended your gut is, forget about the lice crawling in your beard, forget that you'll never marry, never have kids. There are other men here. If they can take it, so can I.
---we know who you are, Major--we know you were expected to get a promotion soon--we know that you must know secrets--of your American aerospace---the beatings will stop when you cooperate, tell us all you know--you must be thirsty--hungry---tired-- we have cool water--rice, chicken--a warm bed-- medicine to take the pain away--we are your friends, Major--there is no point in denying--do not be foolish--your friend Captain Bell --is wise--he has told us everything --
"No, you filthy yellow bastard, Tank would never do that. You're trying to trick me into telling you. You can forget it. Edward Straker, Major, United States Air Force, Serial Number--UHHHHHHHH!"
And when they had tired of the game, they had dragged him back to the cell in which there was hardly enough space to stand up in, let alone lie down on. Leeches the size of his fingers crawled around on him, but he didn't care. When they'd had their fill of his blood, they fell off. There was a pool of blood underneath him, or was it his own shit? Or both? It didn't matter any more. He just longed to die. But death didn't come. Someone in a cell close to him was coughing. There was something odd about the coughing, even though everyone suffered from problems with their lungs. I can't think, I just want to die. God, why must I go through this, why can't I die? The coughing turned to tapping. Wait a minute. He pulled himself up somehow, trying not to retch at the way he smelled, trying to ignore that he'd lost almost half his body weight, and he'd never been much more than a stick of wood anyway. Code. He lie against the side of the cell, and listened, and was it? It had to be. Someone was trying to communicate with him! A friend. He sobbed, then took a deep breath, worked out the code.
--understand me? Respond if you can. I'm camp C.O. Air Commodore Stanley M. Brisby, Royal Australian Air Force , are you getting this?--
--I understand--he tapped wearily, finally picking up the code.
--Thank God! Tell me about yourself, son, what rank, what division? I'm in the Australian Air Force myself. The gooks shot my plane down. What's your name?--
--How--do I know--you're who --you say you are--?
--you poor lad! Must be getting it bad. My mate Quentin says they really have a go at you, yellow bastards that they are--go ahead, ask me any question that a gook wouldn't know. God forgive me for my hatred, but I know what they've been up to with my boys, and I'd like five seconds with the lot of them! But go ahead, son, ask away!
--can't think very well. So cold here. So cold. Let me think. Tell me who Wily E. Coyote is.
--Why, that's the poor devil of a coyote who keeps trying to catch that blasted road runner! I saw the cartoon once in the States, visiting an old friend of mine. Tell me, has he caught and eaten that bird yet?
--No, no, hasn't. But the coyote keeps trying. Must have been in the service once. Must have stripes. Wonder how the coyote would fare here? Shit, I'd eat the damn coyote if he showed up in front of me--
--Son, now that is downright not Christian of you, you could at least salute him first!
--Tell me about this place. How many men? How long have I been here?
--You're new, brought in with a coloured man, been here about a week, where do you come from? What branch of the service are you in? What rank? What's your name?
--Captain, was supposed to get my oak leaves and make major, don't think that will happen now. United States Air Force. They shot my RF4C down, had to jettison both fuel tanks, knew that was kissing my ass goodbye. So you're camp c.o., Sir?--
--Oh none of that sir. Guys in the camp call me angel, because I sang in the choir back in Adelaide. Say I have a voice like an angel. Plus I'm studying for the ministry, would like to have my own church some day, afraid I have a lot to confess if I ever get out of this pit, son.
--Pray for me. I don't know how long I can keep from telling them what they want to know--
--I'll need your name, son, to keep you in my prayers--
--Straker. Ed Straker--but they call me q-tip.
--Q-tip! Isn't that a wonder. Thatch of light hair, skinny as a rail. Fits you, son. I saw you being brought in with your coloured friend.
--that's Andy Bell, Captain Andy Bell. His nickname's Tank.--
--You try and get some sleep, Q-tip. I'll keep you in my prayers. You try and get some sleep--
---I can't break, Angel. I just can't. But it's so cold here. I'm so sick. Are you fond of poetry?--
--Quentin's always showing off his degree in English lit to me, so I have to be. Quentin's my mate. Why?--
--Poem. Poem I know. Let me see if I remember it--Out of the night that covers me black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears looms but the horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the year finds, and shall find, me unafraid It matters not how strait the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate I am the captain of my soul--
--Beautiful poem, Q-tip. Your God won't abandon you. You believe in God, don't you?
--They're coming! They're coming--oh don't let them take me! Please! Please!
They dragged him out into the pouring rain, and it soaked through his tattered garment, into his underwear, which was smeared with his own feces, into his bone. Bone deep. Bone cold. And they began to beat him, two of them at a time, until he screamed until he couldn't form a coherent sound. Cold, so very cold. Cold like he would never get warm again, like he didn't know what warm was. And they beat him senseless.
Ed Straker shot straight up in bed, hyperventilating, and someone startled him by turning on the light, and he struck out in front of him violently. Someone took his hands in theirs.
"Ed! Ed!"
Ed focused, and saw Caroline Constantine. Behind her was Nate Zouri. Ed let out a sigh of relief.
* * *
Miles away, Devon cried out in his sleep. Mags managed to get there first, but Beryl waddled upstairs to his room too.
"Bad thing! Bad thing!"
"Wake up Devie, what's the matter?" Beryl said. She was one of the women who managed to hide their pregnancy well, and that had served her when she hadn't wanted the others to know she was carrying Neil's child. But now, she was well into her sixth month, and her belly was visibly swollen.
"Ed hurt!" Devon wailed. "Bad men! Ed hurt." he cried.
"Devon, it's okay, Maggie's here. And Ed's in the hospital, and he's safe, believe me. Nate's with him. Remember Nate?"
"I want go see him." Devon said.
"Devie, it's three o clock in the morning. We'll go see him tomorrow."
"Beryl, I don't know. Lily said he has the sight, that he's clairvoyant." Maggie reminded her.
"Lily had several screws loose, if you ask me."
"Like in X-files! Like Scully and Mulder, Berry!"
"Devie, go on back to sleep. And let us get back to bed."
"No," Mags said decidedly. "Get up, Devon, get a coat on. We'll go on out to the hospital."
"Yay!" he declared, and jumped out of bed like he was on the end of a bungee cord.
Beryl pulled Maggie into the hall.
"I've been wanting to say this for a long time. I'm sick of your interference, and sick of that husband of yours, we were doing fine before he showed up. If he hadn't gotten mixed up with Neil, Neil might be alive today. I'm fed up with him. If he needs to give a handout to the poor and unprivileged to feel good about himself, that's okay by me, but as soon as this baby is born, I'm history. I'm not staying with this old priest and his do-gooder wife one more minute longer than I have to. I figure they owe me for now, but after the baby's born, forget it. They'll never see it. And I'm taking Devie with me. Did you really think I'd let a half white, half chink like you adopt him? Maybe that old man you live with has a lot of money from that studio of his, but that doesn't mean he can order me around. He thought he could win us all over with a ham sandwich and a soda? "
"Now you listen to me! Ed genuinely loves Devon! And if you take Neil's child away from Angel and Frances, then obviously you have no soul inside you. Neil loved and worshipped and adored my husband. He would have done anything for him. Do you think Ed had to come looking for you all? No! He could have trashed that fucking journal Neil had. Instead, he didn't waste one minute in trying to carry out Neil's dream of getting everyone settled and taken care of. You know why? Because my Ed has a big heart. Bigger than you'll ever know. And I'm not Chinese. I'm Japanese-American and fucking proud of it. Now step aside, and don't you ever let me hear you say a word against Ed again. And don't think you'll get away with running away with it after that baby is born, because one way or another, Frances and Angel will find him. Ed will help them, and Alec will help him do it. And you know what? They'll forgive you, and even understand. Because that's the kind of people they are. Now move aside, I'm taking Devon to see Ed."
"Bitch." Beryl said.
"Look in the mirror." Maggie said, and went for Devon, and led him, wide-eyed, downstairs.
* * *
"You always drop in on patients at three forty-seven in the morning?" Ed Straker complained grumpily, but even so, he made a gesture in the direction of the chair beside his bed.
"When they're crying out in their sleep, and I am unforgivably behind in rounds, yes. What were you having a nightmare about?"
Ed took a look at the statuesque Caroline Constantine who dropped into the chair, and her black trouser suit and yellow blouse. The usual opals set off her ears, but this time a matching opal hung around her neck. Ed decided she had the advantage as far as style went. It was hard to be trendy in blue cotton pajamas.
"Memory of the camp I was imprisoned in." Ed briefly considered a little deft rearranging of the truth, but then decided he'd get out of hospital a lot faster by cooperating and telling the truth. Besides, something was bothering him, like something scaly crawling over his leg that he couldn't see to kill. It isn't good, what do I have to deal with this time? Andy betraying me and the Service, seeing his brains fly all over the place, wasn't that enough? "Mind if I get some coffee? Night's shot as it is. More accurately, morning."
"Sure, sounds good, no, stay in bed, I can manage. White and sweet, right? I know quite a lot about you. Part of my job. You're an extraordinary man, Ed."
"Is that a personal accessment or another part of your job? "
"Both, in fact. I guess you know Paul Foster is after your job."
"Colonel Foster's a good man. Reliable. But then in your job, I guess you'd know that too."
"Mine isn't one of the signatures on the little piece of paper that gets floated around on a regular basis when you get hurt. The one recommending that he relieve you of command. General Henderson believes the events of the last year have left you medically and psychologically unfit for command."
"And you don't agree?"
"I happen to think that the events of the last year only made you a better person and leader. If General Henderson backs Paul Foster's suggestions that Foster take over, I won't help make it happen. Your job is in jeopardy, Ed. A lot of back stabbing is going on behind closed doors. Alec is aware of it. He's kept it from you for the most part, to try and keep the heat off your back so you'd get well. I suppose I couldn't talk you out of accompanying Alec to see his father?"
"Is that your intention? You can forget it. And if Foster's making noises about taking my chair before I'm good and ready to leave it, I'll deal with Foster."
"So you'll leave with Alec on what is an essentially unnecessary trip, knowing it might cost you your job?"
"Funny, isn't it? Alec thought you were in my corner. Alec's usually got a knack for being right. He seems to have blown it this time. I already said yes, Doctor. I'm not in the habit of having to repeat myself. I might remind you that I am still your commanding officer, whether I'm in hospital, or out in the field, or in Shado H.Q."
Caroline handed him his coffee.
"Ed."
"I don't encourage first name use between myself and my operatives when I hardly know them, Doctor."
"Ed." she smiled. His blue quartz eyes blazed at her insolence.
"What?" he finally snapped, too weary for a war of words for once.
"The fact that you said no, that you've put your friend before your duty only assures me further. You're Shado Commander. And as long as I work for Shado, I'll do everything to keep it that way. There was a time when you put nothing before Shado, not even your son. Now, you've learned that the price of sacrifice sometimes needn't be high. Now, why don't we raid this little refrigerator of yours for a snack, and then we'll crack the nut of your Vietnam experiences. Sound good, Ed?"
Ed studied her for a long time, turned the mug of coffee around in his hand, as she cut two slices of Frances' lemon cake, and passed one over to him.
"Next time, I'll trust Alec's instincts."
Caroline chuckled at him.
The door opened and in came Devon, who perfectly executed a jump onto Ed's bed, spilling a few drops of the hot coffee on Ed, who yelped. Devon bounced down next to Ed, arranged his legs into a quite impressive yoga position and hugged Ed happily. Ed inspected his hand, decided no damage had been done and grinned at Devon.
"Ed! Ed!"
"You could have warned me, Devon. What on earth are you doing here at this hour of the morning? Here, have some lemon cake."
"Bad men, Ed. I was gonna chase the bad men away. Just like Greenteeth!"
"Bad men? Caroline, this whirling dervish is Devon Fairchild."
"What's a whirling dervish?" Devon demanded, attacking the cake like it was nothing less than his due.
"Someone who belongs to a religious sect of Islam, I believe, and they spin around as part of their worship."
"Are they on X-files?"
"No doubt." Maggie said, coming in quietly. "Hi Caroline, were you in the middle of a session? Devon was certain something was the matter with Ed, that bad men were hurting him."
"I was having a dream in which I was being beaten, as a matter of fact. So Devon is right. He's just about twenty years too late." Ed affectionately rumpled the little boy's hair, and he responded with a giggle. Then he astonished Ed by reaching up and rumpling Ed's hair, which had grown in back to nearly collar length.
Mags cackled. Caroline laughed.
"New look for you, Ed." Caroline pointed out. Ed's hair stuck out, and he smoothed it down, giving Devon one of his patented do-that-again-and-die looks. Devon only looked like he'd won the lottery, and he sucked the cake down and then curled up against Ed. Something about the boy's demeanor reminded Ed of Nate Zouri. Except Nate's guarding instincts didn't include the snuggling, fortunately.
"Devon, you can't stay with Ed. He needs his sleep." Mags reminded Devon. Devon turned his big brown eyes on Ed. Ed grinned.
"Hell, it's nearly four am. I'll be getting up in a few hours. He can curl up with me if he wants. I'll bring him home after my session with Dr. Constantine, after I check out of hospital."
"Ed! Book! Read!" Devon had found "Takeover" and handed it to Ed.
"You read it to me," Ed insisted, amused.
Devon looked very uneasy, and he squinted at the pages.
"Book no good anyway."
"You're a literary critic now?" Ed asked. "What's the matter?"
"Read to Devon!" Devon demanded, exasperated.
Ed furrowed his forehead, and took the book from Devon and held it in front of him.
"Can you tell me the words, any words, Devon?"
"Ed, what I said-" Mags said meaningfully, but Ed ignored her.
"Are the words blurry, Devon?" Ed asked.
"All funny. Fuzzy words. All bad. Bad thing. Devon stupid." the boy shrugged.
"Devon, look at me. You aren't stupid. Why do you think so? That's a lot of nonsense." Ed replied, matter-of-factly. The boy suddenly burst into tears.
"Devon a retard! Devon stupid! No read! Hate school! Bad kids!"
Ed seemed to have forgotten all about Caroline, and Maggie shot her a look, but the psychologist was just watching Ed with Devon the way a cat would study an aquarium.
"Devon, tell me something. Do you want to read?"
Devon looked quite surprised at Ed's question.
"Devon like stories a whole lot, Ed! Devon want to read like Neilly!"
"Good. You'll read. We'll find out what's getting in your way, and you'll read. Someday you'll read to me. I'll have you tested by someone other than whomever Angel and Frances sent you to, and we'll get over this reading hurdle. And if we can't, we'll go through it. Deal?"
"Devon not retard?"
"Someone at school called you that?"
"Bad kids."
"Then they're the ones with closed minds. That's what I call retarded' Intelligence isn't only based solely on reading and comprehension skills, and you're about the brightest little child I ever met. It won't be long before you live up to the potential that's locked inside you. Don't worry, Devon."
"I love you Ed!" Devon hugged Ed tightly.
Ed was stunned and deeply touched for a moment, but he recovered quickly.
"Jumping on my bed and giving me a baptism of coffee makes me think otherwise, Devon." Ed said sternly. Devon studied Ed's eyes, which were twinkling.
"Ed love Devon too!" Devon decided triumphantly.
"I do not." Ed insisted and whacked Devon with a pillow. Devon giggled in delight, and a pillow fight ensued, with Ed the victor.
"Good night, Ed." Mags said with a grin, and kissed him.
Ed mustered up as much dignity as he could after being the conspirator in a pillow war, and returned it.
"Good night, wife. Good night, Doctor."
"Good night, Ed." The two women went out together.
"Hard to tell which one is nine." Caroline observed quietly to Mags.
"Really? It's crystal clear to me. The one in the blue pyjamas. The one that should be asleep." Maggie laughed.
"Your husband is an extraordinary man. It won't be long before he lives up to the potential locked up inside him. I think a pillow fight is adequate therapy for Mr. Straker for now. I'll see him later, before he leaves. You might try and get him to keep a journal of his dreams. We'll explore ways to deal with these abreactions that originated with his war experiences."
"Caroline, didn't your husband die in Vietnam?"
"No. Dan died after he came home from two years in Vietnam. He had the same symptoms as Ed. Screaming night after night. His unit came upon a group of what he thought was Vietcong snipers in the jungle. He ordered open fire. Turned out it was a bunch of women, children and old men. Dan was never the same after that. He shot himself."
"Shit. I'm sorry, Caroline."
"No more sorrier that I was, Margaret. But I believe it doesn't have to be that way with Ed. Incidentally, I will recommend some experts in children's learning disabilities, that may benefit Ed in finding out what's stopping Devon from reading. Fostering him is going to be a difficult process. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. His parents didn't object to you and Mr. Straker taking him with you to Australia?"
"Well, all we said was an extensive trip. You wouldn't believe his parents, Caroline. Mr. and Mrs. Fairchild. Nouveau riche. Devon has a lot of brothers and sisters, all perfect little specimens, who live up to mummy and daddy's specifications. Devon was the runt. Stuck in school half the time, and brought up by nannies and valets and butlers the other. Practically took care of himself, immersed himself in television shows, and when he met Neil Coates by chance on a day he'd decided to run away, it changed his whole life."
"Finding someone who believes in you is quite a restorative experience for a child. I think the real whirling dervish in Devon's life is going to be your husband. I don't think he's the type that allows things to get in his way. Not even death." Caroline added, and yawned.
"Looks like someone needs some sleep." Mags grinned. Not even death. I didn't marry Ed Straker. I married the ninth wonder of the world. And should it surprise me any, the way Caroline talks about him? I think Ed just dropped yet another female heart in his butterfly net. Oh Mags girl. You'll never totally own Ed Straker. Just get used to it, and think about something else. Like wondering if his libido did take a nose dive, like Ed said Alec had teased him. Somehow, knowing Ed, I doubt it. Horsepiss! Australia! Snakes! I hate snakes! I hate bugs! Maybe this trip will serve as our honeymoon. Nah. Ed will just be worrying about Alec the whole time. Mags groaned.
"You're right. What are you groaning about?"
"Ed sticking his nose in Alec's family angst."
"Margaret, honestly, you couldn't expect anything less from him. Given how far the two of them go back. War has a way of forcing together and splitting apart men. In this case, it forced them together. A legendary partnership."
"I don't even know how they met! Then I find out Ed's favorite poem is Invictus. Nobody tells me anything!"
Caroline grinned at her.
"Invictus? Pretty heavy poem. Fits him, I'd say. How does it go? I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul. Good night, or rather good morning, Margaret, get some sleep. You'll need it, with the trip coming up and mastering your bug phobia." Caroline chuckled. "Some pretty large bugs in Australia."
"Oh, eeeeeyuuuuuuuuu."
* * *
And in an private room of Mayland Hospital, a slender man in blue pyjamas that perfectly set off the crystalline blue of his eyes, sat sleepily with a little wide-awake boy that looked up at him adoringly, and the man gently taught him a poem to remember, to help him not be hurt by what a bunch of cruel kids said.
"I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul." the distinctive voice concluded. "Good night Devon."
"Good night Ed!"
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